Tuesday, May 04, 2010

BLOGGER'S ANONYMOUS

Somewhere huddled in small conference rooms sitting in a circles sipping Irish tea and nervously fondling their well-guarded electronic device of choice are small groups of bloggers. Each meeting starts and ends with the Senility Prayer and each meeting includes an indepth discussion of one of the topics included in the Bloggers Anonymous 12-step program.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I have never liked,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do,

and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Hi, my name is Mildred Ratched and I'm a blogoholic. May addiction took root 6 years ago in blogspot. Shortly thereafter I moved to MSN Spaces where I stayed for the next several years. Now, I'm back to blogspot again. I've been used, abused, restricted, conflicted and just plain stifled along my journey! It's been almost 24 hours since I've blogged and I've got the shakes. I snuck into my office last night after waking from some bizarre dream with the intention of posting a blog only to find a post-it note stuck to laptop. OMG...it was The Senility Prayer! I immediately called my sponsor and was able to get alittle sleep after revealing my weakness to another human being. And to think technology used to be fun and useful! Now, I find myself daydreaming about new words and witty catch phrases. Tonight, we can work on any the step of your choice. Just pick your poison and run with it and remember "we are all just prisoners here of our own device". Now, let's hear from all you blog junkies stuck out here in the blogosphere!



The 12 Steps of Blogger's Anonymous:

1) We admit we are powerless over the need to blog and that our life often times has revolved around our blogs.

2) We believe that a power greater than ourselves exists, and its name is whatever website you use to host your blog.

3) We have made the decision to turn our lives and what skill we have over to the care of a word processing program, that it may help us create that which we cannot do on our own.

4) We have made, and continue to make, a searching and fearless inventory of other blogs to find humor, wit and wisdom wherever we can.

5) We admit that we cannot create insightful entries without the help of our life’s experiences.

6) We are entirely ready to let the blogging police try to find all inappropriate material on our blogs.

7) We humbly ask that our blogs are not deleted due to the inappropriate material contained within.

8) We have made a list of all the persons who own better blogs than we do and are willing to try and outdo them.

9) We admit our jealousy of those who create better blogs than we do and appeal to them whenever possible to show us the way to blogging glory.

10) We continue to edit our entries and promptly update to be read more often and to inspire and lure people to leave comments.

11) We crave the secrets of having a successful, well-traveled blog.

12) We have had a spiritual awakening as to why we try to lure others into this blogging lunacy and to spread the addiction to whomever we can.


Gratitude statement: I am truly thankful for the ability to express myself via written words and to connect with others as a result of the things I write. This is Mildred Ratched signing off as I recite The Senility Prayer! (3 times because I'm OCD) LOL

All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.

4 comments:

  1. how did you know I was sipping Irish?

    I've lost my 24 hour token. And my sponsor's blog is private. Fuck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. All the great sip Irish, don't they?

    I blew my 1 year token I had earned when I came back and started blogging again. I really didn't realize how much I missed it until I came back. It really gets in your blood...

    Your sponsor sounds like a real prick!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 5) We admit that we cannot create insightful entries without the help of our life’s experiences...and whiskey.

    ReplyDelete