I remember one time my mother started ranting about my brother and his wife planning a trip from Maine to Florida on his Harley. My mother is from the old school where camping out includes room service, the man always initiates any action and nice girls don't give head. Listening to her talk about her "wild days" is hilarious because it makes me realize just what the sexual revolution did for the world... that is, besides increase the spread of STD's and increase the number of unwed mothers in the world.
My mother went on and on about their road trip with the highpoint of her whole rant being a vivid description of the condition their asses would be in after driving that far. I listened intently and just as I was about to add my two cents worth, I decided against it. I told her that I was going to behave myself. She looked at me in utter disbelief and asked when had I ever behaved myself.
[GOOD POINT, MOTHER!]
I simply went on to enlighten her that riding on a Harley was like having a 600-pound vibrator between your legs and that I didn't believe my brother's wife would mind that long drive at all. In fact, I thought she'd greet all of us with a big smile!
[VROOM... VROOM... VROOM...]
Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for growing up in the era I did because I know the beauty of sleeping out under the stars far away from room service, I know I don't have to wait for the man to initiate anything and I know nice girls do give head, but they say they don't swallow!
All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.