Sunday, June 06, 2010

MY KIND OF NORMAL

Does anyone have what might be considered a normal, well-adjusted family or is the well-adjusted family just another myth or figment of some psychologist's overactive imagination? Are more people products of the Hatfields and McCoys mentality than being from the endangered species list with a name like Walton, Huxtable or Cleaver? I often wonder if anyone has a solid foundation and basis from which to boast about their lineage like some perfect award-winning thoroughbred that wins all the blue ribbons year after year.

Life eventually teaches us that all families have strange uncles and skeletons meant to be kept in the closet. We all have black sheep and over-achievers. We have myths and legends. We have teetotalers and drunks! We all have those outspoken individuals who proudly stand up and defend the family name any chance they can. We have people who cringe in embarrassment whenever any family story is revealed to any outsider.

Whether our families are too conservative or too liberal, the grass is always greener on the neighbor’s lawn and their strange uncle always makes our strange uncle look as goofy as Uncle Fester from The Addams Family! Some feel their family members are like a bunch of Neanderthals who function solely from some crude, fundamental set of ethics that can be summed up as "dog eat dog" or “the survival of the fittest”…or in some cases, the survival of the most redneck.

The norm amongst family members seems to be that we take each other for granted, don't trust each other's judgment and forget to say I love you until it's too late. Families rarely assess its relationship dynamics and rarely feel the need to improve their communication skills unless it's to see who can scream the loudest or who can spit out the best insults.

Families seem to learn a certain status quo and only rock the boat during a crisis. Families can exist in a rut for years because they see no need to fix something unless it's completely broken. Then the repair is only as complex as putting a band-aid on a gaping wound...if it stops the bleeding, no one sees the need for any further attention unless the wound turns red and starts to ooze from neglect. Most wounds are treated superficially and are subject to a rather slow and inefficient healing process due to the lack of care the wound has received. TLC is more like WTF when dealing with hurt feelings and relationships amongst family members.

Gratitude statement: Although I hate to admit that these things describe my birth family to a tee, the relationship I have with my children is much different. I'm thankful for stopping history from repeating itself.

All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.

3 comments:

  1. I have snobby side of family & a humble side. I got a little of both but the snobbish part always seems to shine the most.

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  2. I have spent a personal and professional life time pursuing what is 'normal' and not.
    On the otherhand, I believe we can acheive 'normalcy' although few seem to want to do the steps needed.

    I am blessed with a relatively normal family, viz. they are generally fond of each other, loving, and haven't done anything cruel or uncaring. They all need some Ritalin but they are a happy lot. I am glad for it.

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  3. in my family, I am considered the Abby Normal one. I'm not sure I want to be any different.

    The rest are, as Spo says, "relatively normal" in that are loving, kind and exalt me above all others...still, I wish a few weren't such tightasses.

    I think for the most part, we're a mildly dysfunctional Walton's. Of course, I'm John Boy. Heh.

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