Monday, April 11, 2011

A PUPPY IN SEARCH OF YUMMIES

I think the universe threw me a zinger by sucking me into this no man's land I exist in now. Karma? You betcha! And when karma comes back to a person that the person has sent out into the universe, it usually comes back like the waves of a tsunami. Now, if I had been a smarter individual in my younger years, I would have played by the rules instead of making my own. I would have listened to the sagely advice from my elders. I would have felt like it was okay not to have to experience everything first hand. Instead of marching to the beat of a different drummer, I would have tried to be in sync with my surroundings. I would have found a subtle happiness in peace and harmony instead of flirting with disaster and dancing with chaos every step of the way. I would have had goals and dreams and believed that those goals and dreams were obtainable and not just some pipe dream.

Today, I'm filled with regret for all the time I wasted on the negative things in life. Today, I look at myself in the mirror and feel as though I'm not the person I was meant to be. Today, I wonder how or why I let myself get to a place in life where new beginnings seem like too much effort. Today, I wonder just how much time does it take to change karma and be blessed with a better life or at least one where I know what happiness feels like and I believe that I'm worthy of good things happening. Today, I just want to close my eyes and feel anything but stress, disappointment, anger and regret. All todays too quickly become tomorrows...

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful it's not tomorrow quite yet!

All gibberish within ©2004-2011 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.

4 comments:

  1. You're preaching to the choir. In my case, had I known that family would be responsible for the anger, stress and disappointment I suffer at the moment, I would have moved out of state years ago.

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  2. it's time to forgive yourself, my friend. Maybe it's time to come home...back to where it all began. We all get second chances!

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  3. well, fuck.

    and you know why.

    thinking of you, mildred. hope you're taking good care of yourself.

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