Wednesday, October 19, 2011

WAX ON WAX OFF


My daughter claims that when I decided to go blonde I underwent a complete metamorphosis. I am now a proud foo fooey "let's go get our nails done" type of woman. I even graduated to having my legs waxed and although waxing doesn't rank high up on the pleasure meter unless you have masochistic tendencies, it does last longer than shaving.

One of our mother-daughter activities used to be going to have our nails done together. My daughter has always been a princess and has a shoe collection to prove it. I even occasionally would make it a real family affair and bring the queen mother along to have hers done. One time I suggested my daughter get her legs done while we were there getting our nails done. When asked if it hurt, I shrugged and told her it wasn't too bad (my logic being if you had given birth nothing topped that), so off she went to the waxing room to become a real sophisticated woman.

She had only been in there a few minutes when one of the women emerged and told me my daughter wanted to see me. I know I had a puzzled look on my face because my waxroom escort looked as if she was going to start rolling on the floor laughing her ass off at any moment. WTF? Had they mistakenly waxed my daughter's head instead? Removed her eyebrows? Ripped off her lip when waxing her upper lip?

Inside the room was my daughter laid out on a table. She was on the verge of tears and when she saw me she whined pathetically, "you told me it didn't hurt!" I couldn't help, but laugh and when I replied, "and I told you the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus were real, too!" the two waxing sadists (direct descendants of Marquis de Sade) burst into laughter. To this day, they still chuckle about me having to hold my daughter's hand while she had her legs waxed and to this day, my daughter still scolds me for lying to her. What a bad mother I am! My only regret is that I didn't get any pictures of the blessed event.

11 comments:

  1. You forgot to mention those waxing sadist were going at my legs like 2 bat shitty crazy women on drugs.... both waxing and ripping at the same time and laughing like fools while I clinched your hand and bit down on a rag. I begged them to just leave the wax on and we could be done with it but no you had to encourage them to keep going!! Worse pain I ever felt!!!

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  2. Dear Whimpy Daughter: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

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  3. I would! Plus the skin they ripped of as well!

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  4. Laoch, I often wondered how men endure getting their chests and backs waxed.

    Punch, thank you and welcome to my jail!

    Wimpy Daughter, how about some cookies instead? Now, that the weather has cooled off I'll bake some bread and cookies.

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  5. whew- I thought a Brazilian was what happened or something :O

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  6. the only wax i want anywhere near me better have been taken out of a hive and filled with honey.

    great story. i love telling tales about the spawn.

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  7. Peaceful, now really would have required pictures.

    Jnuts, I'll remember to dip you in honey before the waxing and not after. I love telling stories about my children also...I always wonder if anyone is really interested in my babble.

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  8. I'm always interested in your "babble". This blog is what I'm going to read to your great grandkids when it's bedtime!!

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