Thursday, December 08, 2011

WHEN THE COLD WIND BLOWS

Dragging myself out of bed each day seems to be getting more difficult. If it weren't for my dogs needing to go out first thing in the morning, I probably wouldn't even roll out of bed at all. Then on top of what seems to be an inevitable decline, this damn slow moving cold front is killing me. Is anyone else out there physically affected by the weather? It seems like every spot in my body that already hurts is amplified by ten. Yes, I've been to the doctor (many times) and yes, I was referred to a pain specialist who told me that because I have so many areas of pain throughout my body, he's very limited in what he can do to help me. His main concern at the moment is the neuropathy in my lower legs and feet.

Each time I go to a doctor and I'm told something I'm not prepared to hear, it immediately transports me into a surreal setting where I emotionally shutdown. I did exactly that when I was told I have liver disease. How the hell did that happen? With all the alcoholism that runs rampant in my family, I, the person who doesn't drink, am the lucky recipient of liver disease. Isn't that special? Now, I'm told that I'm at a high risk for falls. Wait a minute! I'm 50 something and I'm at a high risk for falls??? That can't be right! Okay, so I'm a trooper. I will snap back and deal with all of this, but the next day after learning that my neuropathy has gotten a lot worse, I get the results of my last blood tests in the mail with a note from my doctor attached. He wanted me to contact him regarding how I want to handle this new problem. Is being put out to pasture an option? How about one last grand brouhaha in the style in which I am accustomed? Is laying on a beach and soaking up the rays in some tropical location while being brought fruity concoctions to drink by some buff cabana boy an option?

My previous lab results revealed my A1C had gone down. Although my number still wasn't quite where it needed to be, it was a definite step in the right direction. It made me feel as if I had really accomplished something. Now, as I sat reading my most current results all I could do is shake my head. My A1C has risen higher than it's ever been. My mind started to scramble and I felt immediately overwhelmed. Many things started running through my head, but the one thought that has stuck with me is regarding the role my liver plays in my diabetes. Since I have a diseased liver and glucose is secreted into the bloodstream via the liver, could it be possible that my dysfunctional liver is the culprit of my higher numbers? I suppose I'll run my theory by my doctor when I see him again in a couple of weeks and hopefully, he won't give me the "I know you sit around eating bags of cookies and swilling Coke all day" look. Hopefully, he can suggest a replacement medication for the one my insurance refuses to cover because it's too expensive. Perhaps going from 3 diabetic drugs down to 2 daily caused the drastic increase in my A1C. And perhaps my insurance company is trying to kill me so they won't have to pay anymore claims! Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm part of some sick, sadist Catch 22 with no way out.

29 comments:

  1. It sucks getting old. I sit inside by the pellet stove up here in the frozen tundra called Maine because the heat helps keep old "Arthur Itis" at bay. Hell...at least I can keep my fingers warm so I can type! I'm an outdoor person by nature....sitting here wondering why the hell I still live here! I could be in the tropics with you "laying on a beach and soaking up the rays while being brought fruity concoctions to drink by some buff cabana boy".
    Maybe our Thelma and Louise reenactment isn't far down the road!

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  2. Hey Mildred, sucky news... I think it is vaguely wrong that we need to read and analyze our own blood test results... In a perfect world the professionals would have a good handle on all that stuff. My last set of results my GP hadn't even heard of some of the things that the immunologist was testing me for... Good luck girl!

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  3. Reading this latest post of yours made me sad. I hate not being able to think of something really comforting to say. It probably won't do much to warm your aching body but I'm sending cyber hugs your way. The health insurance scam makes my blood boil every time I think about it. What good are all the advances in medical technology and wonder drugs being created if the overwhelming majority of us can't afford it?

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  4. Did the doctor go into what caused the liver disease? If you don't abuse alcohol, did some other culprit harm your liver?

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  5. Linda: I'm all for the Thelma and Louise thing as long as it doesn't involve driving off a cliff.

    Displaced: Thanks and good luck to you also in your adventures in paradise.

    Nathan: Don't be sad! Your presense in the blogosphere is comfort enough.

    Ahab: Yes, we discussed my condition in depth and unfortunately, medical science has discovered no definite cause for the type of liver disease I have. It's one of life's great mysteries. Lucky me!

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  6. I say it's option number three...damned insurance companies. I'm right behind you on the rest of the bullshit.

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  7. Entropy is awful. I hope a little brightness comes into your life soon.

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  8. Jnuts: Maybe we should make our own old folks home!

    Laoch: Thanks! Brightness does come into my life...I just needed to bitch about being in pain so my eyeballs wouldn't explode.

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  9. Did you mention that it sux getting old? Oh yeah, think it was mentioned in some form within your text. Geez, I used to listen to my grandparents talk like this... now me and my friends are doing this same kind of talk. Bah and humbug and all those other quaint quotes.
    Yes, get all this bitchen off your liver, pardon the intentional pun my dear. Find something to laugh out loud about. Laughter, it is said, is good medicine.

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  10. Considering all your problems a man would have to be insane to take up with you. And if he did I suspect that there would be very little in it for him.

    Hey, just saying.

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  11. BBC- why don't you go get yourself a camouflage dildo, shove it up your rude ass and go fuck yourself! This way you'll get the attention you are so desperately seeking and I'm sure no woman is giving you. Poor baby- and if that doesn't work plug it in your nasty mouth and suck on it until you have something nice to say- which in your case looks like it's gonna be awhile. I've had enough of your disgusting comments to my mother- they are neither wanted or appreciated. To everyone else I apologize for lowering myself to this asshole's standards but enough is enough! I'm not as nice as the rest of you here and he has really ticked me off - now I've vented and I'm off to wrap some Christmas presents listen to some music and clean my swarvoski bejeweled pink pistol! xoxoxo

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  12. Wimpy!!!! Way to go!!! You speak for me as well!!

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  13. My hooker and I get along just fine, we don't have to put up with whiny women.:-)

    And I get along just great with the old lady next door.

    You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary between sex and syphilis and too many posts here are only about seeking sympathy, pretty much from complete strangers.

    It's clear that she lives damn well compared to many, maybe she should be counting her blessings.

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  14. Hmmmm you must mean your blowup doll since no woman( hookers included) would put up with the crap that comes out of your sad little mouth. As for the little old lady next door- are you sure she's real? Or is a fictitious person you made up since no real person could tolerate your nasty personality. Real friends sympathize with those they care about when something is wrong and rejoice in happiness over the good things in life- something you apparently need some practice in. You apparently need to grow up little boy and stop acting like a shit and face the real world- sometimes it sucks but it sucks a little less when you can be there when someone is having a rough time- try it sometime and then maybe you can replace that blowup doll with a real woman. Until then go back to that camouflage dildo I mentioned and count your blessings because Mildred doesn't need anyone preaching to her about counting hers- she is plenty grateful for everything and everyone she has. Try looking that up in a dictionary instead of sex and syphilis..... Xoxoxox

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  15. I think we would all appreciate coming to Mildred's blog and reading what she has to say without having to listen to the whiny, nasty comments from a man who obviously has nothing better to do than to go around spreading hate and discontent wherever he goes. It's quite obvious that he doesn't have a loving, compassionate bone in his body. Mildred has a loyal following of very nice people that I have enjoyed getting to know over the last couple of years and enjoy reading their comments. BBC is ruining the experience! For that, I am sad!

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  16. Linda: I have looked under HELP to see if I can block a person and all I can find is how to block all comments. If anyone knows how to block a person, will you enlighten me? Thanks!

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  17. Mildred I am so sorry you are being attacked by this whatever he is. Know this, he must find you very interesting or he wouldn't keep coming back and posting. Kinda like the boy who keeps pulling the pigtails of a little girl he has a crush on sorta thing. He must have grown up and matured in the backwoods for the manners he displays here. I mean, his antics are that of a teenager (12 or 13 maybe). I have found that if we all ignore what he has to say he will go away and find another hole to fish in.

    I am very sorry about your health issues. Medicines can cause Liver disease if not watched closely and your Doctor may be at fault. On the other hand My mother in-law was just diagnosed with a rare liver disease that usually effects women over the age of 40. She is managing it and it has not progressed. She has to stay on a strict diet though.

    As for the diabetes,I don't think your liver is the issue there but I could be very wrong. It seems more logical that it is the change in meds that is affecting you levels.

    I will say a little prayer for you. Take care of yourself, there are many who love and need you.

    Vital

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  18. Mildred: The old folks home sounds like a winner if we work it right. You can make your brownies, and I can, well, I'll figure something out.

    BBC really is a pariah, isn't he?

    "I'm not as nice as the rest of you here..."

    Oh, Mildred. You must tell WD how nice I used to be to the fuckwads on Spaces. Like PP and Cookie Pussy...or as I fondly called her...Leather Twat.

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  19. Vital, I agree with you all the way. Sad little boy, isn't he? I think he's in love.

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  20. Vital: I wonder if liver disease can be a result of being rode hard and put up wet??? I certainly deserve something for all my years of living in the fast lane.

    Jnuts: Pariah? You really are being nice! WD knows all about PP. She's been a lurker for years. And sweetie, it can't be love because all my lovestruck admirers lavish me with expensive gifts.

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  21. Yes, the cold makes my symptoms worse too. For Christmas I'm asking Santa if he will give me the power to heal people, I'll be seeing you FIRST if he does! Wimpy daughter---YOU ARE AWSOME!!!
    Write to BBC at: 173 Avis St, Port Angeles, WA, 98362-8996
    Or call at: 360-452-5565

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  22. Adi: Thank you for that beautiful thought and yes, my daughter is a wonderful person (she was in a little car mishap yesterday and is sore from where her seatbelt jerked across her when she swerved out of the way to avoid someone who cut into her lane) Perhaps we need to post that address and phone number on a S&M website. LOL

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  23. Mildred: uh...thanks for the update about Nurse CP?

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  24. Hope there are no future problems for WD, due to the accident. And remind me not to piss you off, Adi.

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  25. Jnuts: Just consider the update as being kept in the blogging loop and Adi is definitely the type of person you would want with you in a pinch. She not only would hand you the baseball bat, but she'd help you remove the body or bodies!

    "Swing away Merrill. Merrill... swing away."

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  26. Sorry to hear of this news with your liver. Hopefully the damage is treatable and they can take the steps necessary to heal you.
    I'm not sure why this sad man is harassing you (other than he's just screwed up in the head), but I'm pretty sure blogger has a way of blocking people. I would contact them if you can't find out anything in the settings. Good luck.
    Merry Christmas.

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  27. SHST: Thank you and the last few days have been harassment free, so I'm hoping he's finally figured out that no one here wants to read his venom. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

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