Saturday, June 09, 2012

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

WALMART AT 2 A.M.

Everywhere I've gone this past week duck tape seems to be required for something. Here in the sunny South, they claim if you can't duck it, fuck it. In honor of that wise and timeless quote, I decided to repost something I wrote years ago because it combines my hatred of Walmart with my love of duck tape. [shaking my head in disbelief] I do really wonder about myself sometimes!

The original post was titled EROTICISM AND THE WALMART SHOPPER:

I hate crowds! I also hate shopping! I guess that not only makes me unAmerican, but also the atypical female. Sometimes I used to go grocery shopping late at night to avoid the crowds. Very late one night, I went to Walmart where I encountered a middle-aged couple ahead of me in the checkout line purchasing 3 items. I made the following observations about the couple:

1. They were a well-dressed, affluent, middle-aged couple.
2. They were obviously enamored with each other because they made frequent public displays of affection (PDA)

My smile turned to utter delight as I became mentally captivated by the 3 items they purchased. To this day I often wonder why any couple would come to Walmart at 2 a.m. to buy a roll of duck tape, a reclining lawn chair and a can of whipped cream! No, I didn't follow them home, but I have to admit I was tempted!

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for having a keen power of observation and enough sense to know when to leave well enough alone!

Do any of you remember when I used to write gratitude statements? It seems so long ago and like something I should still do from time to time now because if I'm not grateful for anything then what's the point to this topsy turvy ratrace I call life?

Food for thought: I wonder if there's some creative use for duck tape.

Friday, June 01, 2012

A PITSTOP FOR THE MORALLY BANKRUPT

[RANT ON]
As I surf around the internet and read new blogs, it always amazes me why some people feel the need to slither around cyberspace attempting to discover where the morally corrupt are hiding. [Oh no! I think that morality train makes a pitstop here every now and then on its way to Sodom and Gomorrah] Their mission, in part, is to locate blogs void of decency, then they quickly report the blog to the powers that be, but only after repeatedly sharing their ignorance in the comment sections of the blogs they find distasteful. From there the cyber police step in and investigate the complaint.

Needless to say, cybersnakes are one-dimensional, narrow-minded creatures in dire need of a cobectomy (removal of the corn cob) which clouds their vision, distorts their judgment and gives them hemorrhoids the size of boulders. No wonder they have a bad attitude! I’m almost certain that cybersnakes lack a sense of humor. I bet they view all comedians as sick, twisted, vulgar, amoral cynics and people like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly as godlike and wise beyond their years. What a sense of power cybersnakes feel they have! Obviously, these slimy, slithering serpents haven't a clue as to what the First Amendment is all about and feel the overwhelming need to dictate morality [theirs]to others wherever and whenever they can. I wonder if any of them know the meaning of the words "sarcasm", “parody”, “satire”, "individuality" "humor" and "freedom". Perhaps, they should look up the definitions in the dictionary before they jump on the morality express.

What's posted on anyone's blog is a matter of preference and nothing more right down to the fonts we choose and the templates we use. Who cares if one person uses red where black might look better or if someone uses profanity to get a point across to their readers? These troublemakers are worse than Big Brother himself because they are one of us. They too are bloggers, but they feel the need to dictate what we post! They purposely and repeatedly visit blogs they find distasteful. Do they really feel it's their duty to thrust their strict moral code and self-righteous opinions upon others? Do they think everyone here in the blogosphere is in need of a little moral tweaking Now that sounds rather kinky to me. Please baby, tweak my morals! Faster! harder! Oh yeah! That's how I like it!

Cybersnakes lack what the rest of us seem to have... a simpler and much nicer "live and let live" philosophy. We are if nothing else are a band of brothers and sisters who seem to realize that blogging is much like real life where people with diverse lifestyles and interests co-exist. They don't see or appreciate that each blog is the product of an individual's creativity and imagination. They quickly deem anything "different" as being amoral and offensive thus worthy of reporting and deletion. For all my fellow bloggers who may blog on the fringe of what may be deemed as acceptable... keep on blogging! Dare to be different! Dare to exercise your right to express yourself! Let your creativity live and breathe in whatever form it wants to take. As long as it isn't killing people and maiming intellects, then blog on and stay strong!

Food for thought: Are the cybersnakes the same people who were tattletales and bullies when they were children? Or are they just living out a fantasy that they don't have the balls to live out in real life?
[RANT OFF]