Tuesday, June 05, 2012

WALMART AT 2 A.M.

Everywhere I've gone this past week duck tape seems to be required for something. Here in the sunny South, they claim if you can't duck it, fuck it. In honor of that wise and timeless quote, I decided to repost something I wrote years ago because it combines my hatred of Walmart with my love of duck tape. [shaking my head in disbelief] I do really wonder about myself sometimes!

The original post was titled EROTICISM AND THE WALMART SHOPPER:

I hate crowds! I also hate shopping! I guess that not only makes me unAmerican, but also the atypical female. Sometimes I used to go grocery shopping late at night to avoid the crowds. Very late one night, I went to Walmart where I encountered a middle-aged couple ahead of me in the checkout line purchasing 3 items. I made the following observations about the couple:

1. They were a well-dressed, affluent, middle-aged couple.
2. They were obviously enamored with each other because they made frequent public displays of affection (PDA)

My smile turned to utter delight as I became mentally captivated by the 3 items they purchased. To this day I often wonder why any couple would come to Walmart at 2 a.m. to buy a roll of duck tape, a reclining lawn chair and a can of whipped cream! No, I didn't follow them home, but I have to admit I was tempted!

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for having a keen power of observation and enough sense to know when to leave well enough alone!

Do any of you remember when I used to write gratitude statements? It seems so long ago and like something I should still do from time to time now because if I'm not grateful for anything then what's the point to this topsy turvy ratrace I call life?

Food for thought: I wonder if there's some creative use for duck tape.

10 comments:

  1. I can't stand WalMart.....I remember the gratitude statements. Liked them when you did them....:)

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  2. I share the feelings about WalMart, although, if they have a Dunkin Donuts inside, its fun to go sip on a cup of coffee and people watch....and I use the term "people" loosely here!
    Mildred....I have to say that I'm surprised that you wonder if there are creative uses for duck tape.....of course there are! I remember a conversation we recently had on this subject ! hehehe... What fun conversations we have!
    I love your gratitude statements and love the Food for Thought!

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    1. We definitely have some award winning conversations!

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  3. oh...by the way...the picture of the strawberries, whipped cream and handcuffs made my mind go places it's probably not safe to go!!! buah ha ha

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    1. Oh, the memories! I definitely wouldn't do anything like that now... (stop laughing Martha!)

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  4. Another fun thing to do at walmart is put items in people's carts when they are not looking. It is best to observe the type ahead of time so the cowbird item really raises a fuss, like bacon for a health nut. Mind, I have never done this.

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  5. Hi Mildred!
    the answer to your question - creative use for duct tape - YES. And not x-rated. not even R-rated! My daughter has created wallets (which she and her brother USE) out of Hello Kitty duct tape, bracelets, and patched her jeans with it!
    Ok... I'm done being inanely insane now.............
    NOT! :p

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