This is the final day/Day #30 of 30 SONGS IN 30 DAYS (Horray) and Day #20 of 30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS
The raucous, rotten, saucy part of me wants all attending my bon voyage party to do the fish cheer (Give me a 'F", Give me a "U"...) as loud and as meaningful as they possibly can just to break the ice. I want to be able to hear the back row! No slackers on this one!
I wrote a set of "House Rules" to govern my bon voyage party and I'm compiling a cd of music to be played so EVERYTHING is taken out of my children's hands at the time of my transition into the great beyond. They just need to follow directions! ha! Like that's going to happen in this lifetime! One of the songs I selected was a song James Taylor wrote and sang for John Belushi when he died. I always thought it was a powerful song sung straight from his heart.
1. THIS SOIREE WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE A FORMAL FUNERAL…IT’S JUST NOT MY STYLE SO DON’T YOU DARE MAKE PEOPLE DRESS UP IN BLACK, BE SOMBER (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH BEING SOBER) AND FEEL MORE UNCOMFORTABLE THAN THEY ALREADY ARE. IF YOU HAVE TO PRAY AND ACT GLOOMY THEN DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME AND NOT ON MINE.
2. NO BORING EULOGIES FILLED WITH LOVELY LIES ARE ALLOWED, BUT LAUGHING AND FUNNY STORIES ABOUT ME ARE A MUST! I’M SURE EACH OF YOU CAN COME UP WITH A FUNNY "KAREN" STORY TO SHARE WITH EACH OTHER. SOME OF YOU PROBABLY CAN WRITE A BOOK FILLED WITH FUNNY "KAREN" STORIES!
3. ABSOLUTELY NO CRYING IS ALLOWED.
4. NO BITCHING ABOUT THE MUSIC I SELECTED IS ALLOWED.
5. IN ACCORDANCE OF A PROPER IRISH WAKE: IF ANYONE BITCHES OR CRIES THEY HAVE TO COMPLETELY FINISH AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK EACH TIME THEY BITCH OR CRY.
6. SINCE MY DAUGHTER ISN’T GOING TO FOLLOW THE NO CRYING RULE THAT MEANS SHE’S GOING TO GET VERY DRUNK AND WILL NEED A WHEELBARROW TO CART HER AROUND FOR THE DURATION OF THIS PARTY (YES, I SAID PARTY AND IT DAMN WELL BETTER RESEMBLE A PARTY AND NOT A FRIGGING FUNERAL)
7. DO NOT LET JOSH GRAHAM PUT ANY DEVIL DUST (FINELY GROUND GHOST PEPPERS) IN MY ASHES
8. IF POT IS LEGAL AT THE TIME, THEN BY ALL MEANS FIRE UP A JOINT.
9. IF POT IS STILL ILLEGAL, I SAY FUCK IT…FIRE UP A JOINT ANYWAY.
10. IN THE COMING DAYS, PLEASE DON’T ACT LIKE SO MANY FAMILIES ACT DURING TIMES LIKE THESE. THERE'S NO REASON TO ARGUE AND PUSH EACH OTHER AWAY. YOU ALL WILL NEED EACH OTHER, SO DO THE RIGHT THING AND BE THE PEOPLE I RAISED YOU TO BE. I LOVE EACH OF YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND I WILL BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. THIS IS NOT A FINAL FAREWELL, BUT JUST A SEE YOU LATER. SOMEDAY WE'LL BE COSMIC STAR DUST TOGETHER. UNTIL THEN PARTY ON AND GIVE ME A PROPER SEND OFF.
TRUTH #20 - The great tragedy of life is not that people perish, but that they cease to love.