Saturday, November 16, 2013

PLAYSTATION4 AND THE IGNORANT MOTHER

I'm going to just throw this out here to get the elephant in the room properly introduced.  Hello! I'm an ignorant mother!  No, no!  Not that kind of mother!  I'm the kind of mother who is fairly ignorant when it comes to PS4's.  Preorder?  Why would I want to do something sensible like that?  I'm more a fly by the seat of my pants kind of optimist! Plus how would I know that I need to preorder something that meaningless to me? Why not either drive to or call every place in Northwest Florida a few hours before the 12:01 am release date in hopes of purchasing a PlayStation4 instead? 

Why not with the few ounces of sanity I have left conjure up a story about my dying son and his dying wish to own a PS4? Why not get lied to by every sales associate I speak with?  You know how I love to get jerked around!  Two Toys R Us employees told me as they were closing their doors at 10pm, that they had 9 systems available for sale.  They quickly told me they would NOT not be reopening at 12:01am to sell them like other stores plan to do.  Their store opens at precisely at 9am the next day and that's when their 9 non-preorder PS4's would be available for sale.  At precisely 9am I was at the store and was told they were sold out.  Wait a minute!  I looked around and the store was empty.  There were no lines! The cashiers were huddled in a circle no doubt discussing ignorant mothers, but I'm told that the systems that were there at closing the night before were already sold.  To whom? Fucking ghosts?  It was the same story at Best Buy, Walmart, Gamestop and Target.  The moral to this part of the story is DO NOT delude yourself into believing that the suppliers are governed by any type of rules regarding PS4's .  They do what they want to do!  Just because you may read on anyone's website that tickets will handed out at a certain time, what you'll find out is that the tickets have already been distributed by that time and not at that time. Yes, Best Buy I'm talking about you! I doubt I'll ever stop there again!

I've also discovered that PS4's are like the holy grail of gaming systems. According to their users they rank right up their with all new electronics gadgets requiring a sacred release date.  Wait a minute!  Why do they require a release date cloaked in so much hubbub that it makes an ignorant mother's head spin?  Why not just manufacture a bunch of these gems and then sell them without all the hoopla and drama?  If they put a thousand systems at each store who sells them, a thousand systems will be sold by Christmas.  It's supposed to be about supply and demand, people!  But the only flaw in that economic rule is that there isn't enough supply to cover the demand.  I was told it drives the demand up.   Isn't that special? And of course, NO ONE knows when more systems will be available for sale.  Really?  Someone knows!  The marketing people, CEO's and stock holders must laugh their asses off over each release date.  Their motto is, "Let's just screw with all these pathetic bastards especially the ignorant mothers!  They deserve it the most!" But why should I, the ignorant mother be penalized?

Look, I got so desperate that I was going to start offering sexual favors for the golden Willie Wonka ticket, BUT I was afraid my delicate ego might get crushed.  I might get offered a very used Atari instead of a chance to buy one of the FEW PS4 systems each store seemed to have for sale.  I think it's time for the ignorant mothers of the world to UNITE and say "we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!"

To my oldest born son:  Happy birthday!  I love you!  I had this last minute GREAT idea of buying you a PS4 for your birthday, but the manufacturers are obviously against ignorant mothers, SO you will not be receiving a PS4.  But don't blame me. Blame it on that anti-Christ, Andrew House!

"Today's launch of PS4 represents a milestone for all of us at PlayStation, our partners in the industry, and, most importantly, all of the PlayStation fans who live and breathe gaming every day," said Andrew House, President and Group CEO, Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. "With unprecedented power, deep social capabilities, and unique second screen features, PS4 demonstrates our unwavering commitment to delivering phenomenal play experiences that will shape the world of games for years to come."

The only thing Andrew House forgot to say is " and screw ignorant mothers!"  I'm thoroughly convinced Sony Computer Entertainment Inc likes the cluster fuck they created and Andrew House resides in Hell. 

6 comments:

  1. If it is any comfort to you, I have never heard of this until I read it here.

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  2. I just asked my son, "Why don't you want a PS4?". He said that the games he wants don't come out for a while. Praise the gods of release dates.

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  3. I wonder if Chelsea wants a PS4?
    I desperately hope not.
    If she does, I will make sure to ORDER IT, LOLOL!

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    1. Yes, preorder, my dear! I almost find all this funny as hell. We mothers are always mothers to our children regardless of how old they get. No one asked me how old my son is today. He's 35 and has been playing with gaming systems since he was a little boy. If there's one thing I can truthfully say is that although he is an amazing man...boys will be boys and boys of all ages LOVE their toys!

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