Monday, July 21, 2014

THE ANATOMY OF A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

It’s a well known fact that Mildred is a glutton for punishment and a wee bit on the impulsive side, but for many years now (nine to be exact) she’s been in time out.  In those nine years she’s done a lot of soul searching and has carefully examined all the bad choices she’s made in the past especially where love and men are concerned.  Her last relationship was literally the straw that broke the camel’s back and sent her into the cozy hermitage in which she lives.  Although it was a long distance relationship, it had many more factors going against it than just the distance factor. Those factors she overlooked until they shook her entire whole world.

Mildred is now on the threshold of embarking on another cruise upon the Love Boat, but this time she feels more equipped to handle the rough seas when she encounters them.  The relationship she is forming is with someone she knew as a teenager.  In fact, he’s the first male she ever kissed, but they didn’t have a relationship with each other until now. Due to the past, she occasionally has a knee jerk reaction.  Maybe if she discusses long distance relationships in general, it’ll help her put and keep things in proper perspective where Mr. Right (MR) is concerned and it’ll help her not judge him by what someone else has done to her in the past.  The following are things Mildred has learned about long distance relationships and relationships in general during her illustrious relationship history:

1.       A person needs to listen to their instincts and do only the things they feel comfortable with doing.

2.      Someone who truly cares about you won’t bully you or manipulate you into doing anything that goes against who you or what you believe in.

3.      Being honest, no matter how hard it is will save a person a lot of frustration and grief in the long run.

4.      If boundaries are set and expectations are discussed in the beginning, no one will be able to say "I didn't know you felt that way" or "I didn't know that's what you wanted."

5.      Telephones and computers make communication easy and convenient, but should never replace communicating face to face.

6.      Rational people don’t pick up and move far away leaving their family and friends behind for a new love interest unless the potential for a real future together is a  possibility.

7.       While it may be appealing, venturing into the unknown is always scary thing for anyone. Being patient is crucial while developing and sustaining a new relationship.

8.      Maintaining a long distance relationship can easily cause a financial hardship. 

9.      Both people having the long distance relationship should travel and spend time with the other person. Being on someone else’s turf can be a very revealing thing about the other person. It's rather hard to get a realistic picture of who your new love interest is if you never see the person in the surroundings they call home.

10.   Any successful relationship has to be built on trust and a long distance relationship will test that trust like no other. 

11.    If being distrustful and skeptical is in your nature, a long distance relationship will be a source of constant upheaval for both parties.

12.   Long distance relationships are probably one of the hardest, but not impossible types of relationships to maintain successfully.   

With all that said, I do think two people who are meant to be together will work out the details, so they can have a meaningful, committed relationship. I also believe that in any relationship there has to be sacrifices at times and going that extra mile for the other person is just part of it.  In a long distance relationship it may mean going that extra several hundred miles and sometimes even thousands of miles.  If you're willing to gamble and it feels right, then you definitely need to go for it!  Don't always take the safe road in life...take a chance, but take that chance without being clueless.  Don't walk into the dark without a flashlight to see your way.  If it's meant to be that other person will hold your hand through the darkness and help show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If it's meant to be, you'll never feel alone, even when you are and you won't feel as if the relationship is all one-sided.  A good relationship is always two-sided and always a work in progress. 

OMG!  That funny feeling Mildred keeps having isn't heartburn, but what can it be?  She just took a long, deep breath and then exhaled... I think this might be the beginning of something interesting, so stay tuned to see what develops!

20 comments:

  1. I think long distance relationships are ok to a point. The point being that one wanting to be with the other constantly and is having a hard time staying away from the other. The one thing that should be considered is how much one loves the other. Mr. Right might just love Ms. Right to the point that he doesn't want to be away from her. So what happens then. Where the Internet and other forms of communication might be sufficient for some but not for Mr. Right for example. The physical part is very important.

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    1. Dear Anonymous: I think in these situations both people want to equally be with each other, but have to work out the details so that can happen. I see no problem as long as they both remain honest with each other. I agree with you about the physical aspect of a relationship being very important and is definitely a detail that needs to be worked out in the case of Mildred and Mr. Right. A good source told me Mildred was hoping Mr. Right would read what Mildred had to say and would dazzle her with his response. Time will tell if that will happen.

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  2. It sounds very exciting....best of luck with the new relationship. Seems like you have a very good set of guidelines to go by.

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    1. Thank you, Delores. Some days I alternate from being excited to being scared to death and other days I just exhale!

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    2. Being scared to death after such a long time without someone is scary. Believe me Mr. Right is going to take time and go very slowly. That is so important. But when the time does come I believe that being scared will be a thing of the past.

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  3. Success with Mildred's long distance relationship. Ours worked 37 years ago before PC's and Internet. Telephone calls were $8 a minute, but my hub told me good night every night by letting the phone ring three times. That did not cost either of us anything. If I really needed to say something, I picked up the phone. That was also the time of love letters, which we still have. But to be honest, I can't think of anyone I knew in high school that I would have any interest in today. Be careful of what you wish for. Hugs, Linda@Wetcreek Blog

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    1. I appreciate your input. Times have changed a lot that's for sure and people definitely grow up, but Mr. Right and Mildred have talked enough to know they have many things in common and would like to explore where this takes them. Neither are rushing into anything without giving it a lot of thought.

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  4. Mildred I know you will be happy with this new relationship and I know Mr. Right will make you forget the past within the first few minutes of seeing each other.

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    1. Mr. Right, there you are! But where in hell have you been all my life? I know they say "better late than never"and just so you know, you have 40+ years to make up for!

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    2. Oh and I sure as hell will.

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    1. Yes, indeed and one I'm truly looking forward to undertaking.

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  6. Love your guidelines. And can feel the excitement - and the fear. Fingers and toes crossed that this time the warmth and the magic continue.

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    1. I know time will tell. In just 2 months when I have my annual Maine trip to visit my friends and family there, he'll have moved back there by then and we plan to spend as much time as we can together sorting out what path to take.

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    2. Like every second together. I am looking forward to it. My goal is to make her feel like she is the most important person on this planet. Threre is a song by Foreigner, " I want to know what love is." I think we will both have the answer to that question. What do you think Mildred?

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  7. Hi Mildred! Thanks for visiting my blog! Are you in my old stomping grounds of beautiful Washington State/Pacific NW? I see you are embarking on a new relationship with someone you knew as a kid. That's what happened with Russell & me. We were classmates in high school, he was 2 years ahead of me, but we weren't even that close of friends. But apparently he'd been carrying a torch for me for 30 years. When he found me, he was still in MA and I was in WA. So it was a long distance relationship for 6 months, till I was able to get divorced, pack up and move back to my hometown area. Initially I asked him to move west, but honestly I didn't want to take him away from his children, family and everything he's known his whole life. It just made more sense for me to return home, and I'm glad I did.

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    1. JoJo: I live in Florida, but was born and raised in Maine. Mr. Right lives in the Seattle area, but will be moving back to Maine soon. Thank you for making this all seem possible...sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. I guess it just goes to show that if it's meant to be then the people make it happen and true love does prevail!

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