Tuesday, January 02, 2018

A NEW POST TO START A NEW YEAR

First, Happy New Year to anyone who reads this. Have you made any good New Year's resolutions? More importantly, have you broken any good New Year's resolutions? If not, what are you waiting for? Delayed gratification may build character, but depriving oneself of joyful decadent behavior like sex, drugs and rock and roll isn't much fun. (Sorry! wrong decade! I was starting to feel like I was having an out of body experience! Ha!)

Now, getting back to reality...This will be short and sweet or as short and sweet as I can get (you know how I love to ramble).

I've dabbled in genealogy research off and on for the past 20 or so years (more off than on).  Lately, I've not only been doing my own tree, but I've also been doing my son-in-law's (SIL) family tree.  Hmmm! Why am I doing his tree you may wonder. I'm his mother-in-law and I'm supposed to be a raging bitch, aren't I? I guess I was playing hooky the day that was taught.

SIL was adopted as an infant only a few days old.  He was never given
much information about the particulars surrounding his birth, adoption, etc. The normal things most of us take for granted like knowing whose eyes you have or who you get your height/stature from are things SIL never knew. If it had been me, my curiosity would have driven me crazy and I would have found a way to satisfy that nagging question mark. SIL handled it in a totally different way.  Out of respect for his adoptive family, he never expressed even a hint of desire for knowledge about his birth parents. He felt like if he asked for any information, his adoptive parents would be offended, so SIL silently suppressed his curiosity because he didn't want to appear ungrateful for the life they have given him. SIL's adoptive mother and father have both passed away.  His father died first about 10 years ago. His mother died last year from cancer.

For Christmas 2016, I bought everyone DNA test kits from ancestry.com. I thought it might be a fun family activity for all of us to do. Once SIL got his results back, I offered to do some research on his behalf.  He gladly accepted my offer and since then not only have I been working on my own family tree, I've been researching my adult children's fathers side of their tree and SIL's tree as well.  His was going to be the most challenging so I only stabbed at it occasionally until a few weeks ago. I felt confident that we'd solve the mystery in time because DNA doesn't lie except if your name is O.J. And then all bets are off... I'm like a bulldog when I get latched onto something.  Whatever it is consumes me until I accomplish what I set out to do.

To date SIL has connected with a half-brother he never knew he had. You might wonder how that happened. Remember DNA doesn't lie and a little information in the right person's hands goes a long ways. Also by becoming part of a HUGE DNA database, you find all sorts of relatives (close and distant) you never knew you had. SIL has gained all sorts of information regarding his biological ancestors on his father's side of his family tree. For the time being he's letting all of it sink in. His biological mother still remains a question mark, but I think in the near future that will change. At least I hope it will change. It sure would be nice to give someone a happy ending.

4 comments:

  1. What a lovely tale. Thank you. And yes, curiosity defines me. I doubt I would have been as patient as your SIL.
    No resolutions here. I fail at so many things anyway I see no need to add more.

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  2. That's so cool!!!! Have you watched 'Long Lost Family'? It's about people tracking down family through DNA and ancestry.

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  3. It seems that we, as usual, have taken the same path at the same time. Were we married in a previous life? I spend too much time hunting down those who came before me. The ancestral dead ends keep me from having satisfactory happy endings.

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  4. Your SIL will be amazed what comes from your research.

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