Showing posts with label Jnuts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jnuts. Show all posts

Monday, January 16, 2023

FROM ONE VINCENT TO ANOTHER

Because my "molemate" once told me I have the soul of an artist, I'm sending this one out here in cyberspace for you, Jnuts because I miss you everyday.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

National Confession Weekend


I've been reading some of my old posts from back in the day when things just got started in the blogosphere and I realized just how different things are now. My original blog was named Abnormally Normal People and it was located on MSN Spaces. In the past, I've mentioned Psychedelic Pariah a few times, but like Beetlejuice don't say his name 3 times in a row or else he might appear and trust me, you really, don't want that to happen! On this particular day Psychedelic Pariah was acting human. I guess no one pissed in his Wheaties! ha! That didn't happen often. When I first started blogging I did so under the screen name, Red Kitten before I became Mildred Ratched.  Although I think part of me has always been Mildred Ratched, a crusty old bitch with a don’t fuck with me attitude.

To tell this story I have describe few characters that were created for the Psychedelic Pariah's benefit. The Red Dyke was a character I created due to the name-calling Psychedelic Pariah slung my way. He was a bully right out of the Trump playbook long before there was a Trump playbook. In fact, if I remember correctly, The Red Dyke wore high-top Birkenstocks with a tight red body suit and well, she was a superhero, of course! She let her long, wavy, chestnut hair flow free.  At one time I had a drawing of her, but it's long gone. The Blue Mute was another blogging buddy of mine that felt Pariah's wrath, also. We did nothing to Pariah other than be a thorn in his side from time to time by merely existing, I think we became the Troglodyte Twins in his mind. Charming, huh? Imagine that! Me being a thorn in anyone's side! ha! Actually, I took what he meant as a slam and turned it into something rather funny. I think it pissed him off that his insults didn't bother me and instead turned them into a joke. 

Imagine someone like Donald Trump...you know, someone who loves to stir things up, yet unlike Trumplethinskin, Psychedelic Pariah was highly intelligent and he was a very talented writer (I hate to admit that.) You had to stay on your toes with him or else he'd crucify you. I never quite figured out what his deal was and then he disappeared never to be heard from again as did many of these people on MSN Spaces. For many the blogging fever waned and for others it became a part of our lives and now we mostly, exist in peace and harmony except for the occasional annoying spam here and there.

As you read what I've copied and pasted below, please pay special attention to the comment "Kathy" leaves in response to my post titled National Confession Weekend I wrote in the spirit simply having some fun because my next post is my response to her.

The idea for National Confession Weekend originated from the following chat I had with my partner in crime, The Blue Mute the night before I wrote the post titled National Confession Weekend:

The Red Dyke says:
I’m listening to Unchain My Heart by Joe Cocker….makes me want to get up and dance

The Red Dyke says:
all I need is my pole

The Red Dyke says:
believe it or not I have one in my living room

The Red Dyke says:
lol

The Red Dyke says:
maybe I need to write that as a confession in abnorms…I have a pole in my livingroom

The Red Dyke says:
I wonder how many women can say that

The Blue Mute says:
you have a POLE pole??

The Red Dyke says:
yes

The Red Dyke says:
a pole…from ceiling to floor

The Blue Mute says:
for what….

The Red Dyke says:
dancing

The Blue Mute says:
so you like to dance with poles

The Red Dyke says:
I like Irishmen better

The Blue Mute says:
HAHAHAHA

The Red Dyke says:
the pole can be used for anything you want it to be used for

The Red Dyke says:
hey…remember I’m a saucy tart?????

The Blue Mute says:
oohhh yeah!

The Red Dyke says:
saucy tarts have toys



National Confession Weekend


I decree it to be National Confession Weekend (June 24 – 26, 2005) and everyone has to reveal at least one useless bit of information about themselves on their own Space.

My confession:
I HAVE A POLE IN MY LIVINGROOM!!
(I'm revealing this now, but the pole was a huge support beam in the shape of a pole)




32 Replies to “National Confession Weekend”

Dingo says:
June 23, 2005 at 10:10 pm

Okay, yeah I’m the Blue Mute, but the truth is….I am NOT MUTE! That was a big misunderstanding that I won’t go into right now. By the time you and me teamed up I was already using The Dingo as my faithful translator. So me and The Dingo was talking the other day and we was wondering if you did your confession day if Pariah would come play in our sandbox. The Dingo told me we should hand him a shovel and tell him to bury himself with a real confession. I think Dingo might try to bury Pariah like a bone.

RK says:
June 23, 2005 at 10:17 pm

I can’t predict what Psychedelic Pariah might do. I’ve yet to witness him letting his hair down and playing with the rest of the dysfunctional family, but there’s always a first time for everything. I guess we’ll just have to sit back in breathless anticipation and see what the verdict is, Dingo.  I believe I would prefer to bury Pariah rather than having him bury himself. I personally would love to have him write some truly worthless confession to amuse me.

Out_of_order891 says:
June 23, 2005 at 11:20 pm

im lost whats the point of this blog?

Out_of_order891 says:
June 23, 2005 at 11:20 pm

or this whole space

Cynical says:
June 24, 2005 at 12:08 am

Hi, RK, Haven’t been by in a few days. I was busy pissing people off with a diatribe on F1 racing fiascos and a Flag Burning article/landmine. I am almost afraid to ask, but would you tell me when ….. Grump. Brain fade. You list when National Confession Weekend is at the top of your Blog. I’ll be back when I think of what might be most inappropriate for a shrink approaching early coothood to confess. I think I know what it will be unless I find something more normal.Peace, Doc

Psychedelic Pariah says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:25 am

Confessions are easy. They’re fun. My problem is I could go all night. Yes, that’s right. I’ll play this game with you. God, where to start…

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:42 am

Out_of_order891, the point of this blog or as you came back and questioned in fact the validity of this whole space is that it has no point…obviously, your superior intellect didn’t allow for you to see sometimes girls just want to have fun! I can see it’s gonna be one of those weekends! Doc, come on….tell us something inappropriate and normal…yes, that’s the ticket. I’m sure you’ve got something lurking in there! Pariah, welcome to the sandbox, darling. Remember to take your shoes off and no taking a dump while you’re in here. okay? Play well and I’ll keep an eye out for bullies.

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 7:00 am

BTW Doc, I burned 10 flags in your honor today! Now, gentlemen and ladies I expect to see some totally useless/worthless tidbits revealed. Choose wisely and remember to be honest! And Dingo….stop kicking sand on Pariah. He’s NOT a bone! Pariah, just out of curiosity…do you have blue eyes?

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 7:04 am Edit

One last thing before I leave for the day….I discovered what useless tidbit "Out_of_order891" left for us! He/she has a restricted space so we can\’t go see the depth of this person’s thinking and witness perfection and true meaning in the making! OMG, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED! Someone make me feel better…….PLEASE!

Varahn says:
June 24, 2005 at 10:44 am

Confessions hmmm? No pole. *if you catch my meaning*~Tet~

barbara says:
June 24, 2005 at 11:02 am

Confessions? Well, I use L’Oreal. Does that count? Ok ok… I’m not as blonde as I seem. More? Juicy you say? OK. I’m not a virgin. I can never ride a Harley again.

Psychedelic Pariah says:
June 24, 2005 at 12:04 pm

Yes, RK, I do have blue eyes. Why would you ask that?

Lisa says:
June 24, 2005 at 1:50 pm

I went through a phase, not sure how old I was, (maybe 11?) of stealing books from the local shop. They were either Enid Blyton (childrens stories) or porn magazines. Dunno what that means..

NASCAR DAN says:
June 24, 2005 at 2:58 pm

OK I want a pole in my living room and the WWE divas oh well I can dream about it anyway I once stole some money from my sister to buy some cowboy boots but after I got them they did not fit plus I got in trouble,so much for my days as cowboy any way take care RK, my confession on my site is coming soon.

Goodbyefranko says:
June 24, 2005 at 4:07 pm

I think I’ve done most of my really big confessing already…lets see…I used to steal paperbacks as well…mainly westerns…but one called Dove about the kid who began to sail around the world by himself @ 16 y/o and made it 5 yrs later, married and in one piece. What a great book for a squirt like me. Eventually, I got caught. And I learned my lesson too. Now, I just pirate music and DVDs. Aaarrrrrrrrrrr.

Debeann says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:01 pm

Well they do say confession is good for the soul….or so she says as bares her soul from the pole…my confession is coming!

NASCAR DAN says:
June 24, 2005 at 9:23 pm

hey RK I got my confession up stop by and take a look.

Unknown says:
June 24, 2005 at 10:15 pm

Amazing. I too have a nice pole .. but mine is in my bedroom … attached to the bed! Wanna come check out my pole kitten? O:)

Bob says:
June 24, 2005 at 11:47 pm

Ah, I don\’t believe that you actually dance on that pole. But a few pictures might convince me…In the meantime, I’ve made my own confession on my site, so come on over and visit.

Cynical says:
June 25, 2005 at 1:17 am

I have to set the stage a bit here. I went to a Catholic undergraduate school where the good brothers of the Society of The Precious Blood not only failed miserably in their attempts to turn me into a "young Catholic gentleman," but created, at best, an agnostic who had learned enough theology and philosophy (minors in both, though I refused to claim them) to know why I believed as I did. I married my first wife right out of college before it was off to grad school. It seemed to me that, to avoid hurting my relatives, I probably should go to confession so I could receive communion at my own wedding. I even went in to Chicago to St. Peter\’s Cathedral. (Here comes the good part.) The priest that heard my confession didn’t appear interested in anything I considered a sin, but launched into a lecture on why I must not marry a non-Catholic. Before he had finished, my parting comment was "F**k you, Father!" And I didn’t even wait for my penance. I shall discuss the incidents with the chihuahua at another time. Peace, Doc

George says:
June 25, 2005 at 2:12 am

Wow your own pole. Brass I hope. Does it have a name?

Reeking Havoc's Lair says:
June 25, 2005 at 6:24 am 

OK, my confession is ready. It’s about something I didn’t do.

Kathy says:
June 25, 2005 at 8:25 am 

My confession is that I really have great hate feelings for anyone so superficial and pointless as to take up a space on this planet who calls themselves "Red Kitten" and, from the photo, looks like a typical walking aides and syphilis cocktail. Excuse me for being so frank but I have never seen such a total waste of space on the internet in my life. People like you are the reasons why scientists are working on genetic engineering. We really must do somethhing about these degenerates and have some rules to this msn spaces. Where are the cyber-police? Arrest this hooker! And I think you know what you can do with your pole!


A Utah Woman Am I says:
June 25, 2005 at 9:16 am

That is great! Knowing me though I would think your house used to be a firehouse or something (seeing as I am a little slow on the uptake). But that is awesome that you have a pole! It would provide a ton of entertainment I am sure! I will have to think of something to "reveal" this weekend…hmmm…

Jnutsaz says:
June 25, 2005 at 7:34 pm 

Crap. Now I have to confess something? I’m going to have to think about that one. Don’t want to alienate any more people than necessary.

RK says:
June 25, 2005 at 8:33 pm

Varahn_Tet, no pole but you haven’t made a confession yet. I’m waiting with baited breath! Barbie, I know I can always count on you playing along! Believe it or not, I’m not a virgin either. Psychedelic_Pariah, the answer to your question is posted on your site. FinestPantyHose, we’ll leave the analysis of your choice of books to steal for The Doc. mochajavamanDK, "Dove" sounds like a great book…who wrote it? Debeann, I just checked…no confession yet! Shame on you!RebornTIGERDAN974. thanks for your contribution to National Confession Weekend. Thomas, hopefully we can compare poles someday! Dutchdummy, I enjoyed reading your pole confession and the great thing about confessions is that it’s up to the reader to believe or disbelieve what’s written. CynicalPsychologist, OMG…I think I’m in love! airhorny, the brass pole matches my brass balls. Reeking_Havoc, what a sweetheart you are for playing in the sandbox! Did you ever get a heat rash from going commando? A_Utah_Woman_Am_I, I’m looking forward to reading your confession. Jnuts, you don’t have to worry about alienating anyone…now write something shocking like you’ve danced on The Red Dyke’s pole…..LOL

Cordelia says:
June 26, 2005 at 3:10 am

Confession posted!

RK says:
June 26, 2005 at 2:40 pm

euphrosyne22, thanks for posting a confession and welcome to the sandbox!

Tawse says:
June 27, 2005 at 5:37 am

I’m a day late.. but it’s posted none the less =)

P says:
June 27, 2005 at 5:41 pm

see, now you have a pole in your living room. that is your confession. indigo was caught in a compromising position in public. I cannot possibly participate in confessions week. because my confessions would include things like: I stole stickers from my piano teacher in 5th grade. *GASP!* I’m going to go out and do something devilish tonight just so I can fulfill the assignment while maintaining my pride. maybe I’ll…litter. *SHRIEK!*:) patresa

Amy says:
July 2, 2005 at 11:22 am

LOL…That’s a great chat and confession! I have run out of tame confessions as I have a onrunning Sunday Confessions post.

Virus says:
July 13, 2005 at 4:47 pm
I'm at a loss for words. I think I have a pole in my mouth.


For those of you who actually read this entire post...My confession this time around is that the pole in my living room was a huge support beam in the shape of a pole and not a stripper pole! The fantasy is always much better than the reality! Alas, Red Kitten was a fraud! lol I hate when that happens, don't you? But trust me, Mildred is the real deal! And if Mildred starts confessing to stuff people might end up in jail. Uh! Oh! 

So what's your confession? 

Saturday, April 17, 2010

J&M BITCHFEST

What I'd really like to bitch about, I can't because it involves a lawsuit. Yesterday, I spent all day giving a videotaped deposition. I came home frazzled. My mind was racing and I felt in need of some TLC. Oh yeah! That's right! She's [me] in friggin' time out, so TLC wasn't going to happen. She [me] has this notion that she needed to take a break from men because she has impaired judgment. Isn't that fucking special? She [me again] might as well just wear a chastity belt. In the meantime, tiny twattlers have moved in and they have let the old love canal get overgrown with cobwebs and who knows what else is in there. The jolly Green Giant could have moved in and she'd [braindead me] never know! From the valley of the jolly... Ho! Ho! Ho! Green Giant! Hear the echo??? I really have to say women are dumb bitches sometimes! I mean we can be really S-T-U-P-I-D at times!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 

From a man's perspective, I was told at an early age "I was sitting on a goldmine" and what did I do? I ran with every loser within a 50 mile radius. A real freak magnet here! Yeah, I was sitting on a goldmine alright! I should have hired myself out to a circus. She walks! She talks! She crawls on her belly like a reptile freak! Oh shit! Wait a minute I think I'm supposed to be bitching about someone or something else other than myself! Pardon me while I regroup and pull myself together. [small break to think] This is my blog and I am the Captain. The Captain would like to introduce you to Tennille (or Jnuts as I have always called him). I'd like to take you back several years when I first knew Jock was "the chosen one". (Jnuts, when did we start on MSN Spaces? Didn't it first open its pearly gates in late 2004?) Anyway, here was this guy blogging about his prostate. I knew then I had died and gone straight to blogging heaven. Here is Jock's rant titled "Footloose and Diaper Free" :
So, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. There was no rectal exam. This was merely a PSA blood test. If my bloodwork comes back elevated, I will worry about the old finger bang at that time. Which is fine, as my 'roids have been acting up lately and the only way someone is going to shove anything up my ass is after they give me a bottle of tequila and they are in possession of a jackhammer. When asked if I wanted the rectal in addition to the PSA, I politely declined by saying, "only if you buy me dinner and call me daddy." My offer was refused. I DID get a Tootsie Pop and a blue ribbon enameled pin signifying "Prostate Awareness." I was already aware I had a prostate, but I took the pin anyway.
How could I leave that alone? I couldn't! I tried! But the force was strong within him! I answered the call of the wild with my own little twist titled "A Visit To Dr. Pain's Office" but included his delightful and very insightful words on my blog as a lead in for what I wanted to say:
I'd like to take this opportunity and turn a simple medical diagnostic test into a Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus moment. I believe every man I've ever known who has had a prostate exam has described the doctor as having fingers the size of tree limbs and the personality of Marquis de Sade. It's not difficult to picture the doctor coming into the examining room, snapping those latex gloves and telling the patient that the procedure may be a little uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? How about humiliating? And the poor fool isn't even being offered dinner and a movie to go along with it! I know medical staff do their best to preserve a person's dignity, but how dignifying can a prostate exam be if you're a male or a Pap smear and mammogram be if you're a female? The majority of people reserve access to the vajayjay, the twins and the Incredible Hulk exclusively for their significant other. Now, here we are with an almost total stranger and we're PAYING them to prod and poke us. Nope, we aren’t in some sleazy motel with a prostitute! We're in an examining room with our doctor! From a woman's perspective, I'd have to say Pap smears and mammograms are most likely the equivalent to the prostate exam. Guys, you're lucky because prostate exams aren't routinely done until a man reaches middle age. Ladies have to endure the joy of Pap smears and pelvic exams annually from the time they first become sexually active. Mammograms aren't started until later, but are routinely done at an earlier age than when prostate exams are started. For the men who have never had their significant other complain about the whole female going to the gynecologist ordeal, let me fill you in. We not only get the Pap smear and pelvic exam, but we get a rectal exam also. We also have a breast exam and then are sent to have a mammogram depending on what age we are. What can I really say about having a complete stranger stuff my breasts into a cold metal vice and flattening them to the width of a pancake except, "oh boy! Where can I get one of those gadgets to have at home?" (Okay ladies...are you laughing with me?) I guess the most difficult part of the whole exam experience is the waiting for the results part. Yep! We feel great! We didn't notice any lumps or any other abnormalities, but you never know! You always hear horror stories about someone who feels great one minute and then finds out they have cancer the next. I'm not a fretter and can only imagine what the wait for test results must be like for someone who worries about every little thing in life. They must drive themselves and everyone around them crazy in that period of time. How does anyone reassure or console someone like that? I have a suggestion for both genders. Guys, do something special for your lady to let her know you're there with her in spirit during this process. It doesn't take much to let someone know you care about them. A nice dinner out? A romantic getaway for both of you? Ladies, the same goes for you. Our guys need support, too (remember they're whiners!). How about tickets to a ballgame, taking him to a movie he wants to see (and you pay for it or it doesn't count) or buying something slinky from Victoria's Secret to wear for him? Just remember it's the thought that counts and doing something small may mean the world to the person you love. Actions always speak louder than words and here's an excellent opportunity to say 'I love you" very loudly!
So there you have it except for the comment our beloved Jock left for me as a response to what I had written:
Leave it to you to take my insipid tale about Nurse Ratched and turn it into something extremely worthwhile. I loved it and agree, except for one thing. Men are whiners? Oh, you must die! I'd come over there and slap you, but my back is killing me because I had to do dishes today. Damn, the pain is so intense from standing there it feels like I'm getting ready to give birth! Oh, and my hands are now all pruny and I think I'm coming down with the flu, because I've been sneezing and have a headache. Although, the headache could be from standing over the sink while steam rising from the water made me dizzy and disoriented. Mommy! I need to take a nap.
Gratitude statement: What can anyone say about or to someone like Jock, but a simple "thank you"? 

Saturday, May 09, 2009

SOMEONE OUT HERE LOVES ME!

Oh no! This can’t be! Who would do such a thing and not want sexual favors in return? OOOPS…maybe I spoke too soon! Please read on and experience the mental orgasm I had from discovering/rediscovering how friendship via the ole blogosphere transcends time and distance. I highly recommend you add the links below to your list of "must reads".

There’s No Place Like Home?

"It’s my mother blog. It’s my sister blog. It’s my mother and my sister blog."

Okay, so I paraphrased a quote from Chinatown. Sue Me. I used it as an example of just how screwed up and fickle I am. After reaching the bottom of a very empty blogspot barrel and realizing I had nothing left to scrape, I did what I thought was necessary. I closed down and came back to my mother blog, hoping for some kind of renewal…a kind of blog barrel refilling, so to speak.

Unfortunately, mother/home/blog no longer offered sweet repose on her ample bosom. The old gal had undergone plastic surgery, an extreme makeover, a rethinking of old values and decided sitting around waiting for an errant son was not her cup of Earl Grey. Stupid bitch was out partying.

Not to mention, most of the kids I went to blog school with were no longer here. What I hoped would be a stay filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread and pies while visiting with good friends on the stoop, turned out to be disappointing. A post-it note on the fridge telling me to "throw a lean cuisine in the microwave if I got hungry" didn’t quite have the warmth I was hoping for.

So, I did what most ungrateful brats do in today’s world. I left my blog a mess, hopped a boxcar, and hoped ma blog would clean up the place and put a candle in the window…for the time when I would grace the ol’ gal with another visit when I was down and out…or in need of money.

I returned to the newer place I had shuttered a few months earlier, reopened and decided Thomas Woolfe was correct. Bye, Bye Blog American Pie.

Anyway, one of the reasons I had returned to Ma Blog in the first place was to reunite with my first blog love/kindred spirit, Red Kitten. She was the first person I met in blogland and I always felt a certain camaraderie that was warm and fuzzy from the get-go. She left the Spaces ship last year, and though I missed her and checked for her return often, I never did more than that. (I never claimed to be a good son or a good friend.) I always have good intentions, but…well, enough of my deficiencies.

Point is, RK was gone and ol’ ma blog was out doing her Thouroughly Modern Millie thing. What reason did I have to stay? Spaces still moved like compacted shit through a diseased colon and…

Well, bust my buttons, Dorothy, Red Kitten has returned from the land of OZ. Of course, I’m somewhere else on the Yellow Brick Road, hawking home-made poppyseed bread and pastries, but it sure is nice to see her safe and sound in her own backyard. Now, if she would just ditch the blue gingham and pigtails.

If, for some reason, someone stumbles upon this roadside stand, do yourself a favor (after buying a poppyseed brownie and an apple smoothie from yours truly) and head on over to Abnormally Normal People. Find out what truth in bloggertising is all about.

Me? I’m At The Altar of My Ego if you’re interested. I’ll be the one sticking straw down my tin jockstrap in an effort to ease the pain of, you know, wearing a tin jockstrap (tin doesn’t breathe, damnit).

COMMENTS 

Wayward
MAY 9, 2009 AT 6:03 AM EDIT
Karen,Nice post, but is it really love….Happy Mother’s Day! 
Peace, Love, Hippie Stuff,Wayward Bill

Stephen Craig
MAY 10, 2009 AT 7:41 AM EDIT
Dear Karen, Wishing you a very Happy Mother’s Day and As ever be well


Jock
MAY 10, 2009 AT 1:35 PM EDIT
Karen: You do me honor, and it’s not really necessary…although, a mental orgasm does sound intriguing. It’s true, of course, that an internet friendship does not replace the day to day, face to face, but in these times, when so many of us turn to the internet for some kind of connection, I’ll take whatever I can get. Now, about those sexual favors….Wayward Bill: Love is a many nuanced and multi-definitioned word. I can’t love Karen in the physical sense, but I can love what she stands for, what she’s been through in life, and what she brings to the table in a relationship. Does the fact that I will probably never meet her negate the "L" word. Hardly. She’s also smart enough to know that. But to makes things clearer for you, let me simply say…I love her for who she is. By the way, Karen: Hope your Mother’s day is filled with all kinds of love.

EbonyWyvernDragon
MAY 10, 2009 AT 2:17 PM EDIT
Happy Mommy’s Day, my friend! Dragon