Deep in the REM that my brain sometimes allows, it came to me. At first it remained in the shadows only whispering. Its voice seemed like the wind. Then one night it happened. It stepped out from the shadows revealing itself to me. His piercing eyes paralyzed me. His voice was deep and barely above a whisper. His long free flowing hair grazed my face. All my senses became filled by his presence. I could even taste a faint dusting of his reluctant spirit being blown from his body as he moved past me. The gentle breeze came as if his presence had aroused a sleepy Mother Nature from her eternal slumber. Softly, he beckoned me to follow him...

He had come to be my mentor, my guide into a new realm. He fearlessly explained what I needed to do and then sent me on my way reassuring me that he was always with me. He was right! Every time I closed my eyes, I could feel him with me. At first I thought I had gone completely mad or had some elaborate flashback, but he whittled at me until he had transformed an ordinary piece of sturdy oak into a magnificent soaring eagle ready to be guided into this new realm and beyond. The moment he released me he said, "Close your eyes and follow your heart!"

Last night he came to me. He stood gazing at me with a disapproving stare. Our "space" thickened with silence until I couldn't stand it any longer. Just as I was about to plead with him, he burst into a melodious laughter. "Karen, you are such a lunatic!", he announced. Defensively, I said, "How can I apologize for something that is as much a part of me as the air I breathe? You know I'm not crazy! You told me to do this! You made me do this! You promised me that I would find peace!" I stopped and said no more! As I quickly erected the walls of self protection, he gently placed his hand on mine and said, "Karen, stop struggling! You have found peace!"

Gratitude statement: In the absence of turmoil, I am grateful for the peace I have found in just being me.

All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.


  1. i can't imagine finding peace. oh, i'm happy with who I am, but i'm not sure that is the same thing...for me, anyway.