When I started looking inside myself, I discovered it takes a stronger person to forgive than it does to remain steadfast on my principles and beliefs. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of inner strength. It takes a stronger person to step outside the misery and angst than it does to drown in the sorrow and pain of the past. When I looked inside, I saw how to be free and how to look past those negative feelings that ate away at my core. When I looked inside, I saw love isn't about being right. It's about being me and allowing others to love me how I really need to be loved. When I looked inside, I saw freedom in the courage to reach out and connect with others. I saw the strength it takes to let my guard down and believe that life really is worth living. I saw that acceptance and forgiveness will move me forward past the pain and towards happiness.

They say "to err is human and to forgive is divine". I guess that makes me extremely human and working towards divinity. Forgiving others is a cinch, but I find forgiving myself, at times, is extremely difficult. I keep telling myself it's okay to make mistakes as long as a I learn from my mistakes. Without mistakes a person can never grow and learn or test the boundaries of having a life worth living. The words of Socrates come to mind. "An unexamined life is not worth living." Furthermore, an unexamined life leads to being imprisoned by the very things which hurt us the most...our own negative dialogue and buying into the fallacy that we are powerless victims of fate who cannot change anything.

I think as I examine my life and the world around me, the answers I seek are evident as long as I keep both my eyes and heart open. The standard I hold for myself has been much different than the standard I hold for others. What I need to do is allow myself to be examined in the same nonjudgmental way I examine others. One thing is
certain! As I move forward, my journey may get a little bumpy along the way, so please fasten your seat belts and put your crash helmet on as a safety precaution. The air bags are fully functional and please remember the driver hasn't lost anyone yet!

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for the desire to change and for the strength to finally do the right thing.

All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.

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