Mildred sat alone in the bathroom crying. Mildred sat alone in the bathroom wondering why she was so confused and why what had seemed so logical hadn't worked. Some where in her twisted adolescent thoughts she knew her prepubescent body needed to be protected. Why didn't the can of silicone her mother had bought to make things water repellent work as a repellent on her?

Mildred sat in the bathroom crying because the silicone had irritated her genital area instead of protecting it. She sat with her head cradled in her arms on the cold rim of the cast iron claw-footed tub. She sat where no one heard her sobbing.

I want to go back and hold that child and tell her it's okay to come out of that cold, drafty bathroom. It's okay to cry out loud. It's okay to find someone who will listen...someone who will believe her. I want to free her from a lifetime of being self destructive. I want to cradle her until the pain is gone and all that remains is the bright future she should have had.

Mildred sat alone in the bathroom crying...

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful that now as an adult I can connect with the child within and give her the comfort she still needs.

All gibberish within ©2004-2010 Mildred Ratched Memoirs.


  1. that little girl kept you whole. she made and kept you strong. you can't change what happened to her, of course, but you can thank her, embrace her and love her, because without her strength, you wouldn't be who you are.

    i know you already know that, but I just wanted to remind you.

  2. being a child of abuse I went back & comforted her also...
    I guess that made me a very empathetic grownup.
    Now I am caring for those abusive parents-

  3. Jnuts, thank you for the reminder.

    I do need some artwork for a logo...Betty Bong's Brownies (hippie chick with headband and peace symbol), an idea I cooked up this summer (pun intended) in hopes of moving to California and making a fortune. I thought the name was cute and catchy!

  4. Peaceful, life is full of all sorts of weird twists and bumps!

  5. I can only want to take the pain away. I can only want to fix it all. I can wish I knew then what I know now. I can wish I could of been there for the little girl. If only...if only...

  6. that was a sad tale
    I trust she is transformed into a warrior woman?

  7. Ur-spo, it takes a warrior to be able to open up and share the truth.