The problem of unrequited love is an ageless and timeless one and unfortunately, one that has no easy or painless solution. No matter how we look at the situation, when we love and that love goes unnoticed and unreciprocated it has a negative effect upon us. We question our self-worth and ask why that person doesn’t love us in return. The answer may be as simple as the lack of chemistry or as complicated as the other person’s inability to experience true intimacy. I think each of us needs to ask ourselves why we internalize rejection when it comes our way. Why do we always allow it to be our fault? Why do we blame ourselves and feel as if we aren’t good enough?

I think people need to adopt the attitude that the object of our unrequited affection is no more than an imbecile and thus, incapable of seeing past their own nose. I say we start believing that we were too good for them and thus, that person is not really worthy of our love and affection. I say that fate knew what it was doing and whatever wasn’t meant to be was just a huge red flag that destiny has sent our way saying "Hey, I’m doing you a favor here!!! Get over it and go find someone who can and will make you happy!" You see, instead of allowing these turmultuous episodes chip away at our self-worth and self-esteem, I say we start using them as a way to stroke our own ego and to love ourselves.

Unrequited love appears to have the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" quality to it. And isn’t it always told to us that we want most those things that we can’t have? Those highly coveted things always have a mystical, unobtainable quality to them that elevate them above the ordinary drama of everyday life and in a category all to themselves. Sometimes the pedestal we put that special someone on gets so lofty and out of reach that having a relationship with that person becomes something that is no longer humanly possible. The iconic part of this whole rejection process is that in the majority of cases that pedestal is undeserved and sitting high atop it on a gilded throne is not a prince or princess, but an all too common, insensitive, selfish, slimy pond-swimming frog.


  1. I think you’re right about the red flag, seems that all the women that rejected me in the past turned out to have some secret issue that would have caused me more pain than the rejection would have. i.e. cheating, drinking, cheating, gambling, cheating, violent, cheating, thief, and did I mention cheating?

  2. I've had a lot of crazy things happen to me in my life. Unrequited love isn't one of them. On the other hand, I've been persued by women I just had no interest in getting to know a couple of times. That's a real pain when you try to be nice about it and some people can't take no for an answer. It never bothered me when a woman didn't accept my advances. I just moved on and figured it was for the best.

  3. Adi: Thank goodness for red flags! Now, all I need to do is heed their warning. LOL

    Jnuts: In your case it's "ROINK".

    Nathan: You definitely are the lucky one. Those one-sided things aren't much fun at all.

  4. This doesn't really fall under unrequited love but for years I have always seconded guess my decision to walk away from my first love. It seems on the outside he has a wonderful life. He lives in my hometown, raised his girls in church, he is surrounded by our friends and his family. Then I remembered a memory that had alluded me all these years. I was sitting in the library during study hall. We were suppose to have study hall together but he skipped that day. All of a sudden you see him out side the windows and he is screaming you whore at me for no reason....Now I question why I stayed with him long enough for him to be my first love. Oh I always remembered his smile and his laugh, the way he talked; all the good things about him and somehow I had forgotten that he used to break my heart on a regular bases with the woman he married and later when he heard I had come back to town and where I worked, he would show up while still married to her. Nope, fate knows what it is doing. Never question it.

  5. Vital: Like they say, "the first cut is the deepest."