Wednesday, January 04, 2012

TRIPPIN' DOWN THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

Wimpy Daughter gave me a gentle nudge today as I began to "work" the waiting room at the yoyo inspector's office while waiting for the empty pod (my mother) to reemerge. What better place to start up a conversation with strangers than at a therapist's office? Wimpy Daughter simply reminded me Mildred has not written very much lately. When I tried running the excuse that I haven't been in the right frame of mind to write, she gave me "the look". Okay Wimpy, here I am! In between listening to a man tell us how in his youth women used to be shy and reserved and knew how to dress and act like ladies, I scanned the room for interesting architectural details. I like to multitask and realized I must have been skipping school the day they taught all that being a lady stuff since being shy and reserved is definitely not my forte!

He went on to tell us that in those days men didn't chase after women to get into their pants! REALLY??? It must have been due to all the saltpeter their mothers sprinkled on their Wheaties every morning. The climax to his dissertation about women was when he revealed the fall of womankind happened as a result of the drug revolution. I immediately jumped to my feet, threw my arms stretched upward to the heavens and hollered, "HALLELUJAH!" Not really, but as his wife was ushered into see her therapist, I wondered what being married to someone that narrow would be like. Missionary style sex for 40 something years must be as inspiring as his dissertation was. I know it made me hot...and moist in just the right places! As we left the office, Wimpy Daughter later told me that she had forgotten how people always just seem to open up and talk to me wherever I am. Lucky me to be cursed like that!

And now for the rest of the story: Yesterday morning I got a phonecall just after 8am from my primary care doctor's office to let me know my mammogram came back with abnormal results (again). It's difficult to keep going through this each year and feeling like I'm a timebomb just waiting to go off. So far each time I've rolled the dice, luck has been with me. This time I was immediately referred to a surgeon who I see on the 10th. I've been struggling since yesterday to remain positive. Hopefully, it'll be nothing, but I have to admit I'm tired of those people who have been through previous abnormal mammograms and breast biopsies who have reduced my situation to being "nothing to worry about". Hey, guys it is something to worry about and minimizing it doesn't make me have any less anxiety especially when my mother is a breast cancer survivor and one of my closest friends is going through chemo now after having a mastectomy. I know whatever happens next week, I'll handle it because what other choice do I have? So instead of being off to see the wizard this year, I'm off to see the surgeon! The way I see it is that starting the year off badly is much better than starting it on a good note because the only direction I can go is up! So that's my story and I'm sticking to it...at least for a day or two! You know how pathological liars are!


4 comments:

  1. I personally know what you are going through on the inside and I am deeply concered and worried about you. You have enough to deal with already and I really hope it is nothing. I'm sorry that you have to go through this crap.

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  2. I can actually see you jumping up and shouting "HALLELUJAH!" hahaha
    You're not alone in being worried about the mammogram, kiddo. I know first hand how frightening it is to hear the word "abnormal". Every time I go in for another mammogram, I get sick to my stomach with worry, even after 6 years of being "cancer free". If you need me....call me! The song "Reach out and touch....somebody's hand...make this world a better place...if you can" just popped into my head.
    I love you and pray that all turns out well.

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  3. I want you to know I'm thinking about you and hoping your surgeon turns up nothing to worry about. Hugs to you.

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  4. My Mum went through the same sort of scenario, and eventally had to have a lumpectomy, but she survived well into her 70s, when the alcohol carried her off.

    Sometimes life can be shit, but just keep on, just keep on.

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