Friday, August 04, 2006

OUT OF THE BLUE

After grumbling over the newest changes to Spaces and finding out that some of the links make my computer crash, I decided to just roll with the punches and see if MSN eventually irons out the bugs. What else can I do, but runaway from "home" and join the circus? (the theme from "Cheers" is playing in my head) With all its bugs, glitches and other headaches, MSN Spaces seems to be home. I wrote an entry the other night, but when trying to post it, it vanished into the cosmos. I told myself that those words weren't meant to be shared, yet those words have been steadfast in my mind ever since. The word "perseverance" has been with me for several days for many reasons and I really can't decide if perseverance is a good thing or not. As the suspense mounts, I scurry to do some soul searching. I ask myself if all this food for thought will eventually start to dull my senses. Will the anticipation be rewarded in a grand finale or should common sense tell me perseverance reaps no rewards other than as being an excellent character building exercise?

At present, I am engaged in a rather odd ongoing rather lengthy game of cat and mouse. I'm usually up for anything challenging, risky and a bit unconventional. As a participant, I'm always confident of the outcome, yet in this case I haven't figured out who's the cat, who's the mouse and what the stakes are for playing this game. I do, however, know all things come with some sort of a pricetag, but this pricetag seems so elusive. Win or lose, I know my investment (perseverance, honesty and unconditional love) has not gone unnoticed and on some level are qualities that have kept me in this game. My mind reflects on the serenity prayer remembering the difference between the things I can and can not change, but I choose to change nothing and remain steadfast until the end. I'll roll the dice and see what happens.... I fear the extremes, yet crave them like a drug. As this subtle, unrehearsed, spontaneous dance continues, the issue of options seems like a worthy topic to hold my focus for awhile...What are my options? I'm told to make my own options and eventually I will. Eventually, when all is said and done, things will have happened just as they were supposed to happen.

Out of the blue, the conversation changes from idle chitchat to let's read between the lines and see who can be more stubborn.The Wizzard? or Red Kitten?

Wizzard: what would you do with me?

Red Kitten: huh?

Wizzard: I said, "What would you do with me?"

Red Kitten: yes, I saw that

Wizzard: and?

Red Kitten: and if I have to do something with you, what are my options and I'll pick one...maybe two

Wizzard: make your own options

Red Kitten: yeah right!

Wizzard: I asked, "What would you do with me?"

Wizzard: you get to name the options, what ya skeered?

Red Kitten: You know nothing scares me

Wizzard: so?

Wizzard: afraid of laying it on the line?

Red Kitten: okay...I'd pick a ride on your bike and a few laughs

Wizzard: sounds like a good time

Red Kitten: I think you know me better than that...like I said, nothing scares me

Red Kitten: are you afraid to lay it on the line?

Wizzard: but that sounds like a good time, low risk

Red Kitten: it sounds like a male thing to me

Red Kitten: lo

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