I was just sitting here thinking (that's usually a dangerous thing for me to do) about my mother. FYI, I call my mother "Mother" and it's been a very long time since I've mentioned her in my blog. At one point in time I was obsessed with all aspects of her life and now, I live and let live most of the time. Okay, so it isn't in my nature to live and let live regarding some things.
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Queen Tenacious |
When I get determined and really dig my feet into something, no power on Earth is a match for me. Just ask anyone who knows me! I was raised on the mean streets of Mule City (next to East Podunk and BFE) reigned by HRH Queen Tenacious (my mother). The following is an updated excerpt from a previous post:
About 12 years ago (2006) my mother had some sort of break with reality. It was as if aliens had swooped down and abducted the woman I had always known to be my mother and replaced her with a body double void of a mind. She was merely an empty pod for the better part of several years. Naturally, the specialist she had been sent to see quickly diagnosed her with Alzheimer’s and put her on the usual course of meds to stabilize her condition and to slow down what the neurologist claimed would be a steady downward spiral. I never agreed with that diagnosis for many reasons. The primary reason was that I had first hand experience with Alzheimer’s and knew how it manifested itself in a person. I knew what to look for and what to expect. I had previously been the caretaker of an Alzheimer’s patient until that person's death. Slowly, I weaned her off the meds she had been prescribed for Alzheimer’s knowing full well that she'd decline rapidly without the meds IF indeed, her diagnosis was correct. No such decline ever took place! There was just the constant hum of nothingness with no improvement or decline.
[Flash forward to 2018] My mother was talking to my SIL [sister in law] and rattling off about being in her art studio and all the "masterpieces" she has in various art shows and galleries. After my mother got done talking to my SIL, she handed me the phone. We exchanged the usual initial Blah! Blah! Blah! and then my SIL hesitated before asking me, "Am I missing something?" To that, I responded by telling her my mother had not only come back from whatever planet the aliens had been holding her hostage, but she now has her nose stuck in a book whenever she isn't out in her studio...just like before.
It was like the last 12 years hadn't happened except for all of us who had watched her trapped in some unresponsive void. I explained that the process had been very gradual, but in the past year or so she has made a full recovery from whatever it was that had her in lala land since 2006. One day the lights came back on and my mother returned home after her extended vacation. The various times I've asked my mother about that period of time, she has no clear recollection of anything. At best, the things she does remember is in bits and pieces and even those memories are very sketchy at best. To her, that void I speak of didn't really exist.
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The real Queen Tenacious |
Not long ago my mother was sent back to the same doctor who had diagnosed her with Alzheimer’s for some entirely unrelated reason and that same doctor admitted that he had been wrong and was amazed by her miraculous "recovery." I could tell by the expression on his face he truly was dumbfounded. With a lot of hard work and persistence, I pulled my mother back from wherever abyss she had fallen into during her breakdown. I have to admit there were many times I thought I was ready for a rubber room, but I hung in there and did what I thought was right regardless of what the doctors told me. Today, I'm glad to say my mother is thriving at the young age of 90. The moral to this story is that sometimes you have to follow what your heart and instincts and cast aside what science and logic dictates. Welcome home, Mother!
Well done.
ReplyDeleteI called my father Father and my mother mum.
It was the bottle which took away my mother. And never gave her back.
I'm sorry to hear that. That same bottle with the help of unfiltered cigarettes took my biological father. He was 59 when he died.
DeleteThere must be so many questions you all have. My parents lived into their 80s, and I am so glad we had that time. Dad was developing dementia in the last year or two. Mom stayed sharp.
ReplyDeleteI always feel bad for people who lose their parents at a very young age. They have to get to know them through others who knew and loved them which is not the same. Nothing can replace our parents and losing them is a pain that stays with us always. It's a shame death has to be such a horrendous experience for the ones left behind.
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ReplyDeleteAnother one bites the dust!
DeleteFirst: That is a lovely photo of your mom. I've only seen a few photos of you over the years, and yet I can see you in her face...or maybe the other way around.
ReplyDeleteI am going to rewrite the original comment the best I can.
I remember back in the day when you first started writing about the situation with your mother, so when I had to deal with my own mother's problems, I hoped I would be as witty, warm, funny and "present" as you. (It seemed we both shared a similar sibling troubles.)
We did our best, I am sure of it. I am happy that she has returned to you. It chokes me up knowing that I can't have the same thing happen to me. However, you deserve kudos for a job well done. Kudos, Karen. (Just a little affirmation for a warrior I hold in high regard.)
You're such a sweetheart. Thank you for taking the time to repost your comment. That means a lot to me. Everything I did and didn't do was and still is a labor of love. Now, if you heard my mother's side she'd tell you what a horrible daughter I am because I make sure she does what she needs to do so she'll stay healthy. She says I'm bossy! And to that I laugh! She should be glad she was never married to me! lol
DeleteDo NOT call me sweetheart. I'm a major badass with serious attitude problems. I may be lying.
DeleteAnd I'm a badass too. I may be telling the truth.
Deleteand, just in case this comment disappears, I have copied the words this time.
ReplyDeleteSmart thinking.
DeleteNote to self: Post more Red Kitten/Mildred pics in the future.
You're lucky to have had a good relationship w/ your mom and able to bring her back to reality!
ReplyDeleteNow, if only I can do the same for myself :)
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