THE CLOSET DOOR

I know if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's supposed to be a duck, but I've spent my entire life on the back side of the closet door because... well hell, I guess I did it because being an atheist isn't a popular thing to be and I always seem to go against the flow challenging anything in my way or that smells like bullshit. There I said it! I've finally came out of the closet. I'm a heathen through and through!

If I were a Christian, I'd really be pissed off at God. I mean, here sits this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent perfectly benevolent being doing what? Definitely not being all-powerful, all-knowing and all present! Oh yeah! That's right! We, the imperfect sinners were given free will so we can royally screw things up. I guess that's where faith is supposed to factor into the whole equation. Suffer now and get rewarded later? Be a good, faithful follower and the best one can hope for is to watch people around us suffer and die. Lead a good life and never know when it's all going to end or be taken away in some dreadful flash.

And the hereafter? I'm sorry, but I don't want to spend my eternity singing and playing harps with angels. I think this is where one might insert a puke face emoji! I don't want to reach a state of perfection when there's nothing more to strive for... I don't want to be reunited with people who irritated the crap out of me during my brief tenure on this earth. Nope, I prefer to believe I'll become part of the vast cosmos eventually.

The first law of thermodynamics states (here she goes getting all quantum and acting like she actually knows something) that energy can be changed from one form to another, but cannot be created nor destroyed. IF science has it right then my life force will simply transform into some other "energy" at the moment of my death. Perhaps it's like water becoming ice or steam depending on whether heat or cold is applied to it. It's still water, but in a different form. It looks different. It has different properties, but it's still just water. I'd rather believe that someday I may be particles of stardust floating throughout the universe and perhaps, if I'm lucky my particles will find their way to some newly forming planet or star. How groovy would that be? (Did she really use the word "groovy?)

Since I have free will, I choose not to buy into an ageless god who has sat back watching our world decline and has done nothing to intercede on its behalf. I don't want to believe in a creature who would allow horrible things to happen to good people. I detest any being who allows wars to be fought in his/her name and who shines a glorified light on the self-righteous who judge others and who claims their way is the only way to some afterlife paradise. 

Nope! I just don't buy it. I'm a show me type of person and unless I see some grand stand miracle, I'm going to live out the rest of my life believing life is just life and nothing more. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people and sometimes good things happen to good people, but bad things don't happen often enough to bad people (I think that one needs to go in the suggestion box). Who ever said life is fair or just? Life is life! It's a short ride filled with many surprises...some good, some bad. And if I'm wrong, well, I'm sure I have many people praying for me and my willful ignorance. Maybe their God, will want to keep me around for awhile for a few giggles and grins!

Gratitude statement: I'm grateful the closet door is ALWAYS unlocked and easy to open!

FOREVER YOUNG

Repost from 2011 and edited:

From the time we're small children we're taught that growing old is something to be feared, dreaded and avoided at all costs. Just look at what advertising is geared towards! No wonder so may people go through severe upheavals as they reach middle age and start to show signs of wear and tear.

Vanity tells us that as our outer beauty fades we become less desirable in many ways. We see the fate of the elderly and know that someday we will sit where they are. As we furiously diet and exercise to stay fit, is our strife solely for health purposes or is it just a feeble attempt to hold onto our vanishing youth a little longer? Are the botox injections, breast implants or cosmetic surgery another step closer to the fountain of youth or something that society pressures us into considering as a desired partner in the aging process to help us through the mid-life vanity crisis?

Should we focus on the outer beauty and struggle to stay youthful or should we concentrate on the inner beauty and wisdom that comes with age? Shouldn’t we be able to know and feel good that within each of us is the same person we were years ago without feeling self-conscious that the physical part changes? I think I’ll stick with the philosophy "aging is inevitable, but growing old is optional…" That way I can just do whatever feels right for me regarding gray hair and wrinkles, but at 35, I have a few more years before I have to worry about my fading youth. I'm glad to see my sense of humor hasn't declined as my waistline has thickened and my hair has thinned and gotten white along with the myriad complexities of growing older.

This is yours truly at 67. My daughter took this photo of me being my normal goofy self at the Beyond Van Gogh, The Immersive Experience this past Saturday August 12, 2023. I look at it and still see the person I was many years ago and to me, that's a wonderful thing.