Thursday, July 24, 2014

PLEASE GIVE ME CHOCOLATES AND ROSES

Every time I go stumbling around the blogosphere I always come home scratching my head.  I guess that's better than coming home black and blue, toothless or pregnant!  Today, I discovered the 7 Deadly Sins To Ensure People Won't Follow Your Blog.  After leaving a brief comment for Carol Graham, blog author of Battered Hope,  I immediately came rushing home to Mildred Ratched's Deja Moo to see how guilty I am of these 7 deadly sins.  According to Carol, the following are 7 common blogging mistakes many of us make:
 
Sin #7  -- Make sure your blog is very busy.  Put as many 'cool' things on your side bar as you can fit.  Put all your awards and badges there as well.  Lots of ads work too.  The busier it is, the less people will see the 'meat' of your post.
[My meat is always easy to spot and as for cool stuff like badges...everyone must hate me because no one has ever sent me a badge. Maybe I need a booby prize badge for my blog! Personally, I'd rather have chocolates and roses from all my admirers, well wishers and readers.]

Sin #6 -- Don't put your name anywhere on the blog.  Make people search for it.  Sometimes, I will go to Facebook or Twitter or an About Me page and still not find an actual NAME.
[I've been called many names in my life, but the one my mother bestowed upon me is Karen (no middle name really and truly and I actually wrote a blog post about it) Goggins.  Mildred Ratched is the horrible nurse from One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.  Mildred and the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz are my all-time favorite villians.] 

Sin #5 -- Use small fonts.  This will help eliminate anyone past the age of accountability to read it without having to squint.
[I'd only use small fonts if I was whispering behind someone's back or writing out a contract to sell someone shares in my blog.  Does anyone want to buy a few?  I can make you a deal you can't refuse!]

Sin #4 -- Center your entire blog post.  This makes it almost impossible
 to read consistently.  Your eyes are always trying to find where the next line begins and the last one ended.
[I never tried this one, but it sounds like a great way to annoy people or to keep them confused.]

Sin #3 -- Use stark white lettering on black (or any very dark) background.  This may look great but very difficult to read without getting a headache.
[I've done this in the past, but it gave me a headache so I switched to a white background. Call me a conformist!]

Sin #2 -- Make your paragraphs as long as possible.  Or write a multitude of paragraphs without any captions or photos to break up a long post.
[Okay, I know I get a little long-winded at times, but I do post cute pictures amongst my ramblings, don't I?]

And the best for last .................

Sin #1 -- Don't respond to comments left.  Ignore the people that actually took the time to read your post and comment on it. 
[oh uh! I guess I need to be more attentive!  No really, I think I do interact with my readers, but I'm guilty of not visiting other people's blogs as much as I'd like.  Time seems to be the culprit that gets in my way.]
 
So after close scrutiny, I think I should get maybe a C+ or a B- for an overall grade based on these 7 deadly sins and I promise to strive to do better in the future.  I'll aim for that elusive "A" and all of you can let me know when I get there, okay?  And I promise to keep my Maine sarcasm from oozing out all over your computer screen in the future!  I know how messy it is and how hard it is to wipe clean.  All joking aside, our blogs are a reflection of who we are.  Yes, we have complete control over their content, but I think most serious bloggers/writers/authors are mindful of the first impression they give their readers and potential readers.  After all, isn't it the goal of any writer to have other people read what they write?  That is, unless your name is Mildred and then your goal is seeking out people to send you chocolates and roses!

 

14 comments:

  1. Sigh. I don't think I need to find out about more ways to fail. In anything.

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    1. Don't look at it as failure. We all express ourselves in the way we're most comfortable. It's who we are and no one needs to apologize for that or feel bad for not conforming to other people's tastes and preferences. You should feel inspired and unique!

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  2. Wow...seven steps to instant failure. I'll take a good luck now at what I am and am not doing.

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    1. I guess we should all feel fortunate we have it mapped out how to sabotage our blogs. I need to go find some annoying stuff to decorate with. I think some flashing eyesores might do the trick!

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  3. I don't worry about failure.... I'm retired

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  4. I guess mine's busy with my 'cool' side bar stuff....but it's like my house, cluttered with colourful tchotchkes. :D My name is on my FB badge. I've tried to be better about responding to all comments I get though.

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    1. I like your colorful stuff and know I'd like your home as well.

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  5. Great points! And never feel obliged to respond to my comments. Then I will feel obliged to respond back. No vicious circles, please. Karen, I recently started following you and have thoroughly enjoyed all of your posts. You deserve an A in my book! Hugs, Linda@Wetcreek Blog

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    1. Wow! I get an "A"? Thanks! Can I have a gold star as well?

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  6. Dang After reading this post I think I am doing it all wrong! :)

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    1. Fear not! We all are doing it wrong because we're all doing our own thing...whatever that thing may be!

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  7. This post makes me examine myself and my blog. I will instantly make some changes. Thanks!

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    1. Susan, I think our blogs really do reflect who we are both as writers and as people. If you're like me, I want the people who come to my blog to get a feel for who I am. If bedazzling is someone's style then I think they should go for it. I've seen some heavily traveled/read blogs that could be nominated for The Best Hoarders Blog on the internet. I think what we put on our blogs is a matter of taste and preference.

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