MY SOUNDS OF SILENCE
I've drifted throughout life in search of a certain touch, an unmistakable look of acceptance and an intuitive knowing of what comes next. The only thing I've heard as I’ve waited for my inner voice to tell me my search is over are the repetitious sounds of silence. My search has taken me far off course and into unchartered waters more times than I care to admit. Many times, it was a sink or swim situation and although I always managed to stay afloat, in the absence of never quite finding the love I wanted or needed, what I discovered was equally as valuable as love itself...I found what love isn’t.
Love is not a chemical reaction…an explosion of hormones. It’s not a crush, infatuation, lust or anything superficial and temporary. Love is a state of being when two minds join and co-exist as one, yet are miraculously are totally independent of each other at the same time. It has a quiet confidence and a reassuring, unmistakable strength. Love is not forced… it just is. It happens when and if the time is right and only then. Love isn’t something you ever have to question because if you have to question it, it isn’t love. When love happens, it’s there whether you’re both in the same room or thousands of miles apart. Love endures mistakes, pain and flaws both physical and emotional. Love transcends distance and time. Love perpetually strives to create a better place, a more perfect "us", an eternal flame that will flicker even in the wildest of storms to guide you home where your heart belongs.
These words may echo from an empty sadness, yet I do not feel empty or sad. Yes, I am alone, but I do not fear the path I walk alone. I walk with hope as my companion . I choose to believe I will finally feel the love I know I deserve before I die. Until then I walk alone and will continue to love myself until someone else shares that love with me.
And loving yourself is a huge and positive first step. I would also add that I believe love should be nurtured. It can be killed by neglect, just as easily as by rough treatment.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as I should have said first, I hope you do find that love. In abundance.
DeleteThat's for sure...relationship of any kind do not thrive on neglect.
DeleteI'm sure if it's meant to be, it will happen.
My response to love was: why now? Why not 5 years from now, or 10? Stupid question. Love barges in, and likes to do so when it's inconvenient. I felt giddy, tingly. It was either love or I'd really drunk out of the wrong bottle. Just minded my own business and there it was. Boum!
ReplyDeleteI guess it's true...it happens when we least expect it.
DeleteI think you are on the right track learning to care for yourself first. Living alone is not nearly as bad as waking up one morning and finding out you are with the wrong person.
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that too many times!
DeleteThis was lovely; thank you.
ReplyDeleteHappily, loving yourself and allowing yourself to be loved can be nurtured at the same time. And there are different levels and types of love. I see you are loved via these comments. Lovely indeed.
I like the part you said it is when two minds meet and co-exist. I just don't know how you do it but you do....so in tuned. You are a lovely person and I love you.
ReplyDelete