It all begins with Mildred seeing a meme her friend, Joyce posted on Facebook.
Mildred: I’m up for that ride!
Mildred: Let’s just say it’s been awhile since we did anything that could be considered a bad
decision...together. Buckle your seatbelts I think we’re in for a roller coaster of a ride.
Joyce: I'm ready when you are
Mildred: We can start by playing a little game called “Can You Match My Crazy?”
Joyce: I guess I can't go then..ha ha ha
Mildred: I’m up for that ride!
Mildred: Let’s just say it’s been awhile since we did anything that could be considered a bad
decision...together. Buckle your seatbelts I think we’re in for a roller coaster of a ride.
Joyce: I'm ready when you are
Mildred: We can start by playing a little game called “Can You Match My Crazy?”
Joyce: I guess I can't go then..ha ha ha
Mildred: I think I smell bullshit. Should I go get my wading boots?
Mildred: Hey I have a question. How come all my more memorable moments aren’t of playing sports and joining clubs and being an honor roll student and having dance lessons and going to proms and trips to the spa...did they even have spas back in the Stone Age? When I remember people it always is in reference to getting in trouble with that person and doing cool shit while we were baked. Do you remember what a zilch is? I wonder if the kids today do stuff like making a zilch. Hmmmmm food for thought and speaking of food, does McDonald’s deliver?
Joyce: I can see us at dance lessons now...ya
Mildred: We would have been wicked cunnin’ in a tutu. Hey, do ballerinas smoke weed?
Joyce: lol
FYI [for those of you who aren’t familiar with how Maineiacs [native Mainers] talk, wicked cunnin’ can be defined as “stunningly special or cute”
Mildred: Speaking of ballerinas...hold on and I’ll show you my cousin’s daughter
Mildred: Now, I know if I could have done that I would have had a better boyfriend when I was a teenager! Oh man, that was harsh lol
Mildred: It’s nice to know that someone in my family can do this, but I know for certain that doing this would have disqualified me from playing Can You Match My Crazy? And that would have been a shame since I was really good at it.
Mildred: Now I’ll bid you adieu and I'll go pester someone else. Love you!
Joyce: Mildred, love you too you crazy girl.
Mildred: I think I need to compose another blog post like the Gangsta Bees🐝 and feature this so my future descendants can get a feel for who I am. My way of saying, “ha ha ha, you come from the same gene pool.” Now adieu, adieu...I’m off to go learn how to dance.
Mildred: Hey I have a question. How come all my more memorable moments aren’t of playing sports and joining clubs and being an honor roll student and having dance lessons and going to proms and trips to the spa...did they even have spas back in the Stone Age? When I remember people it always is in reference to getting in trouble with that person and doing cool shit while we were baked. Do you remember what a zilch is? I wonder if the kids today do stuff like making a zilch. Hmmmmm food for thought and speaking of food, does McDonald’s deliver?
Joyce: I can see us at dance lessons now...ya
Mildred: We would have been wicked cunnin’ in a tutu. Hey, do ballerinas smoke weed?
Joyce: lol
FYI [for those of you who aren’t familiar with how Maineiacs [native Mainers] talk, wicked cunnin’ can be defined as “stunningly special or cute”
Mildred: Speaking of ballerinas...hold on and I’ll show you my cousin’s daughter
Mildred: Now, I know if I could have done that I would have had a better boyfriend when I was a teenager! Oh man, that was harsh lol
Mildred: It’s nice to know that someone in my family can do this, but I know for certain that doing this would have disqualified me from playing Can You Match My Crazy? And that would have been a shame since I was really good at it.
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| The Gangsta Bee |
Mildred: Now I’ll bid you adieu and I'll go pester someone else. Love you!
Joyce: Mildred, love you too you crazy girl.
Mildred: I think I need to compose another blog post like the Gangsta Bees🐝 and feature this so my future descendants can get a feel for who I am. My way of saying, “ha ha ha, you come from the same gene pool.” Now adieu, adieu...I’m off to go learn how to dance.
I went to college in Maine so I was privy to a lot of the local lingo. Wicked cunnin. lol My roomie said that a lot.
ReplyDeleteThat's wicked awesome! lol
DeleteCrazy is fine.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to the internet for showing me more of my tribe.
Me, too!
DeleteOnce upon a time I thought I would like no only my descendants, but immediate family, to get to know more about me. I've changed my mind. Fuck 'em.
ReplyDeleteAh come on...give them something to talk about as they come to the realization that they are from the same genepool as you.
Deleteyou know. I can't write a damned thing anymore without a typo. makes me angry enough to bite off a finger.
ReplyDeleteOh baby! I like it when you talk rough...just don't bite my fingers off. And just in case you do bite a finger off remember two things...duck tape can fix most most problems and there's always voice recognition software you can use, Jnubs! :)
Delete