Tuesday, July 22, 2025

RIP Ozzy

Because I could not stop for Death 
by Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) 

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed Us –
The Dews drew quivering and Chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity –

What Is A Cult?

Make America Great Again

Does everyone remember Jim Jones? Do you remember how nobody could wrap their head around how his followers couldn't see the stranglehold he had on them? Their apparent inability to see the warning signs along the way didn't end well for any of them! Over time we've had various cults pop up here and there, but none grew to a fever pitch like the MAGA movement.

Why do I call this a cult? Well, actually let me correct that and call it a political cult for now.  How has Donald Trump hoodwinked so many people when he's been in the public eye for several decades? We all know him to be a cheat, a scoundrel, a liar, a lousy businessman, a horrible husband and father and basically lower than "swamp" scum. Does that cover it? Please feel free to jump in and add to the list if you feel so inclined.

How to Recognize a Cult

Sometimes individuals disagree about whether a group, such as certain religious groups (Scientology, Jehovah Witness, etc., are actually cults. Even researchers sometimes can’t agree on what constitutes a cult. I guess we'll just have to rely on the old adage "if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it most likely is a duck."

Most people can agree that cults have a leader. And the leader (or group of people who serve as leaders) are responsible for the rules that guide its members.

According to the Cult Education Institute (a nonprofit library with archived information about cults, controversial groups and movements), there are specific warning signs to look out for when considering whether any group might be a cult. Cults are characterized by:

Absolute authoritarianism without accountability
Zero tolerance for criticism or questions
Lack of meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget, etc.
Unreasonable fears about the outside world that often involve evil conspiracies and persecutions
A belief that former followers are always wrong for leaving and there is never a legitimate reason for anyone else to leave
Abuse of members...abuse can be physical, sexual, mental, emotional, financial or all of the above
Records, books, articles, or programs documenting the abuses of the leader or group are often ridiculed and made to seem like insignificant fabrications
Followers feeling they are never able to be “good enough”
A belief that the leader is right at all times
A belief that the leader is the exclusive means of knowing “truth” or giving validation


Cults are dangerous because they typically rely on deceptive and authoritarian practices to make members dependent on and obedient to the group. Cults often cut members off from other forms of social and financial support and pose both physical and psychological risks to members of the group. So, you tell me, does MAGA qualify as being considered a cult by using the criteria listed above? You tell me!

Survive A Heart Attack When You’re Alone

According to medical experts:

A heart attack is the result of a build-up of cholesterol, fat, and other substances that causes plaque formation in the coronary arteries that provide blood flow to the heart. The plaque formation disrupts the blood flow and can damage the heart muscle.

Heart attacks often occur when people are alone. Knowing what to do when heart attack symptoms come on can save your life. People sometimes ignore symptoms of an oncoming, deadly heart attack, and this can be fatal.


Signs and Symptoms

The most obvious symptom of a heart attack is chest ache, pain or discomfort. Chest discomfort usually occurs in the center of the chest; other symptoms include: A feeling of heaviness, tightness, pressure, aching, burning, numbness, fullness, or squeezing. The pain can either last for several minutes, go away, or come back repeatedly.
Pains in the torso/upper body, including the arms, left shoulder, back, neck, jaw, or stomach
Difficulty breathing/feeling out of breath
Sweating or "cold" sweating
A sense of fullness, indigestion, or choking
Nausea or vomiting
Lightheadedness, dizziness, feeling like you might faint
Unexplained tiredness, weakness, extreme weakness (like you can't do easy tasks), or severe anxiety reacting to symptoms
Rapid or irregular heartbeat

Risk Factors:

Men who are 45 years old or older and women who are 55 years old or older have an increased risk of suffering from a heart attack.
Tobacco use
High blood pressure or high blood cholesterol or triglyceride levels
Diabetes, obesity, and stress
Family history of heart attack
Lack of physical activity
Illegal drug use
A history of preeclampsia or an autoimmune condition such as rheumatoid arthritis or lupus

What should you do if you are alone and have a heart attack?

Call 911 The most important thing to do when you suspect a heart attack is to call emergency medical services. Always call 911 before you attempt to contact anyone else. Calling 911 will almost always be the quickest way to get treatment. Even if you live in an area that an ambulance may have difficulty getting to, the emergency dispatcher can provide you with instructions on minimizing the damage.

Consider contacting someone to come over immediately. If you have a trustworthy neighbor or relative who lives nearby, make another phone call asking that person to come to meet you. Having another person nearby can be helpful if you suddenly go into cardiac arrest. You should only do this if the emergency dispatcher permits you to get off the phone or if you have a second line you can call on while the dispatcher stays on the first line. Do not rely on another person to get you to the hospital. Wait for emergency paramedics to show up.

Chew on aspirin. Chew and swallow a single 325-mg or two tablets of baby aspirin 81-mg. Chewing on aspirin is especially effective if done within 30 minutes of your first symptoms. Aspirin inhibits platelet development. Taking aspirin can delay the formation of blood clots that could further block your arteries during a heart attack.Chew the aspirin before swallowing it. By chewing the aspirin, you release more of the medicine directly into your stomach and hasten its ability to get into your bloodstream. Do NOT use this treatment if you are on a medication that interacts poorly with aspirin or have otherwise been told by your doctor not to take aspirin or if you are allergic to aspirin.

Do not attempt to drive. Driving yourself to the hospital is not recommended. If you begin to experience heart attack symptoms while driving, immediately pull off to the side of the road. If you suffer from a cardiac arrest, you will pass out. This is the main reason why driving while suffering from a heart attack is not advised.

Remain calm. As frightening as a heart attack is, rushing around or putting yourself into a state of panic can worsen the problem. Relax as much as possible to keep your heart rate steady and calm. Count as a way of slowing your heartbeat. Make sure that your counts are slow, using the standard one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand counting.

Lie down. Lie on your back and raise your legs upward. This opens up the diaphragm, making it easier for you to breathe and supply oxygen to your blood. Make the position easier to maintain by propping your legs up on pillows or another object. You could also lie down on the floor with your legs propped up on a couch or chair. 

Make your way carefully if you cannot immediately lie down or sit, such as working on a ladder or crossing traffic. If you feel dizzy or unable to walk correctly, watching a fixed object such as the horizon or a large fixed object might help calm you and help you control the situation until help arrives.

Take deep, steady breaths of fresh air. Even though your instinct might be to take rapid breaths when you experience a heart attack, the best way to maintain a constant supply of oxygen to your blood and your heart is to take slow, deep breaths. Consider lying down in front of an open window, open door, fan, or air conditioner. Providing yourself with a consistent stream of fresh air can help supply your heart with oxygen.

DO NOT attempt Cough CPR. A common myth is that you can survive a heart attack alone by coughing in a particular manner. This probably won't work, and worse still, attempting this technique may put you in more danger. Attempting this procedure on your own can cause you to accidentally work against the rhythm of your heart and make it harder to get oxygen into your blood rather than easier.

Avoid food and drink. Eating and drinking are probably the last things on your mind when you experience a heart attack, but just in case, you should avoid food and drink even if you want them. Having anything other than aspirin in your system can make it more complicated for paramedics to give you adequate treatment. If necessary, you can swallow a little water to help you get the aspirin into your system, but even this should be avoided if possible.

Always follow-up with your doctor: 

Talk to your doctor about what to do in the future. Suffering a heart attack increases your risk of experiencing a heart attack in the future. When you survive your heart attack this time, you should talk with your physician to discuss improving your chances of survival if you should suffer from one again.

Your physician can prescribe medications for treating cardiac problems, including:

Nitroglycerin to help widen the blood vessels and lower pressure on the arteries
Beta-blockers to block the hormones responsible for triggering stress responses in the heart and surrounding cardiac tissue.
Blood thinners to lessen chances of blood clots and anti-stickiness meds for platelets, both of which help prevent future heart attacks due to blockage of the arteries in the heart.

You should get treatment for your heart attack within the first hour of your initial symptoms. If you wait longer than that, your heart will have more difficulty repairing the damage/cell death in the muscles of the heart. The ultimate goal is to have the constricted artery back open within 90 minutes to minimize damage as much as possible.

It is also essential for you to talk to your doctor about reducing your risks of experiencing other heart diseases through diet, exercise/cardiac rehab, sleep, and other lifestyle changes.

Saturday, February 01, 2025

100 Watt Lightbulb Moments

I was going to start this out with "I have a friend..." and that brought a huge smile to my face. Even though I've had a few light bulb moments in the past few days due to a couple friends of mine, the real friend here is me. I realized that I not only love myself, but I also like myself. This realization made me take the next step and see that I am worthy of love and happiness. As I spoke to one friend who is experiencing the initial jitters over starting a new relationship and seems to be questioning everything instead of just enjoying the giddy feeling she gets whenever she has contact with her new love interest, I realized how fortunate she is to have the opportunity to feel love again and wondered why it's much easier for us to feel bad things than it is to feel good things. 

I saw how potentially damaging the negative dialogue that we run over and over again in our heads really is. I felt frustration on her behalf as I tried to tell her that there is nothing to fear but fear itself and that fear is designed to destroy, divide and distract us from a path of happiness. Fear paralyzes and only allows the negative to filter through. Isn't it almost funny how clear things appear when others do it, but when it comes to our own behavior, somehow we can't seem to see what's right in front of us? 

We seem incapable of stepping into other people's shoes when it comes to seeing ourselves through someone else's eyes. All those endearing qualities that others admire in us, we make light of or completely overlook. Why do so many of us feel unworthy of love and happiness and feel we aren't good enough for someone? Why do we many times lack the courage to just go for it and see where the path takes us? What's wrong with just turning that negative dialogue off? 

I'm not talking about ignoring red flags. I'm talking about being able to stop selling ourselves short and to start seeing our own potential. I'm talking about believing we're good people...beautiful people who do deserve love and happiness no matter how old we are, where we come from or what health problems we may have! 

The second "friend" who perpetuated a light bulb moment did so by allowing me close enough to the truth to identify that the isolation she surrounds herself with is due to the abandonment she feels. I think she sees everyone she has ever loved and cared about as having moved on and left her. Death certainly is a cruel way of being left behind and as for the living, yes, we all are guilty of getting busy with our own lives and not seeing friends in need especially those friends who learn to suffer in silence. We all get wrapped up in our own little thing and forget how horrible that journey is for someone who transforms from being part of a group and belonging to something to the nothingness of becoming a hermit. 

Because I truly identify with how she feels, I know I will not give up on her. Because we have a relationship that spans an entire lifetime, the gaps it has experienced are gaps that now can be filled with things I was incapable of giving in my younger years. Because I am myself worthy of love and happiness, I am now capable of giving that part of me that I felt had to be protected and hidden away. I smile now knowing that part is the best part of me and that I can and will be a friend not only when it's easy but when it's needed most. Somehow I'll convince her that the fear of being asked, "what have you done with your life?" is something that can be met without hesitation or shame. 

Gratitude statement: As this new year gets underway, I'm grateful for feeling this past year has been a year of true growth. I hope the next year is filled with as much insight and wisdom AND MUCH LESS AGGRAVATION!

Friday, January 31, 2025

Gastroparesis Blues

They always say the older you get the wiser you get but in my case that doesn't hold true. One of the many things I struggle with having is gastroparesis. I have to be very careful what I consume because my digestive system is like some delicate Southern Belle on a tyrannical rampage or more accurately called a hissy fit. Because I'm a diabetic, one of the diabetic meds I'm taking is a med that is actually contraindicated for gastroparesis, but the doctors feel the benefits outweigh the negative effects.  When I have a severe gastroparesis flare I'm supposed to take a short holiday from the med, but I rarely do that because my blood sugar instantly goes out of whack if I stop taking the med even if it's just for a few days. 

I've worked so hard in the last several years to get my diabetes in control that I just would rather not chance seeing all my hard work go down the toilet so to speak. Several days ago, I stupidly ate a piece of steak. It's the first beef I've eaten in such a long time...it just looked and smelled so good when I was cooking it for everyone else that I had to taste it and there enters my stupidity...my downfall. I knew what was going to happen before the first piece of steak even touched my lips! Of course, I ate the whole piece! The steak sat in my stomach undigested for what seemed like forever and caused my digestive system some ungodly distress.  I ate cucumbers a few years ago and thought I was going to die for about a week. Needless to say, I haven't eaten cucumbers since then. I'll think twice before I eat steak again. A friend suggested I just chew the steak to get all the flavor out of it and then spit it out. Hey friend, have you ever met me? Hmmmm! Do I have that kind of self control? I'll answer that when I stop laughing. 








Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Bankruptcy or Death?

My total prescriptions cost more than $100,000 per year. One prescription that I take by injection every 12 weeks is over $20,000 per shot. I often wonder what would become of me if I didn’t have insurance. Who out there struggles with out of pocket costs, copays and deductibles?



Monday, January 27, 2025

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

wish i woke up every now and then with just a fraction of the energy of a guy who found out he's not the father on The Jerry Springer Show.