A KODAK MOMENT

Hello world! The rumors of my untimely demise have been grossly exaggerated. While some will jump for joy over this news, others will grumble and moan.  I seem to have that effect on people. This anecdote seemed appropriate to signal that I've finally come up for air with my twisted humor intact. Or maybe it means the Zoloft and anti-anxiety meds are actually working.

On my way to a doctor's appointment not too long ago I stopped and took the photo below.  The independently-owned gas station that once had done business at a prime location had been rudely squeezed out of business by two convenience stores very close by. I'm sure that's a too familiar story for many small business owners. Now, the once thriving business claim to fame is barbecued turkey legs (not listed on the sign), sweet potatoes, boiled peanuts and an occasional carwash for some local charity or school.  You can't get more Southern than that except if they offered ice cold moonshine as a beverage to wash away your cares.

As I came to a stop at the traffic light at the intersection on which this once booming business rests, I did a quick double take. Obviously, either new services are now being offered or some young hooligan rearranged the letters to get some laughs. Yep, I actually circled around so I could take a picture on my cell phone from the parking lot. I have to admit I was tempted to ask how much does it cost to get an "oiled anus" because the price wasn’t listed and after all knowing the price is an important thing especially for those who are on a tight budget.  I exercised my almost non-existent self-control by simply driving away with a smile on my face, but only after securing a picture that truly is worth a thousand words or in this case, three hundred and nineteen words.

* Repost from November 30, 2015

LEBRON JAMES, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

Once in awhile a true Kodak moment happens,  but unfortunately, more often than not the moment ends without a photo being taken. Now, in the age of cell phones being readily available, well-documented unexpected Kodak moments are on the rise everywhere. But in a time before cell phones, way back in the dark ages one such moment has always stuck in my mind and I ask myself where was my camera when I needed it the most.

I accompanied a friend to her doctor appointment one beautiful sunny summer day because she needed moral support. Her doctor was going to take a sample of what he thought were and outbreak of genital herpes. Remember this was back in the dark ages before genital herpes had reached epidemic proportions. I'm sure now a doctor can simply have a look see and correctly diagnose the dastardly sores. After her appointment, we decided to have lunch at a drive-in restaurant that was famous for their onion rings. Their serving sizes were enormous. Even a small order was enough to feed several people or many squawking seagulls sea chickens. So after sating myself with onion rings I decided to treat the mass of local beggars that had formed in the parking lot as we ate our lunch. Their only desire was to entice the drive-in's patronage to feed them, so one by one I slung the remainder of my onion rings out my car window and one by one each onion ring was happily devoured until it happened...a true Kodak moment! I slung one onion ring out my window and it landed perfectly around a seagull's neck like I was playing a game of ring toss. My friend and I laughed so hard that for a moment she forgot the somber occasion that had brought us to Panama City that afternoon. As the seagull flew away with the onion ring around its neck it was accompanied by many of its friends happily pecking away at its onion ring necklace.

Yesterday another Kodak moment happened. This time I was able to photograph it and no, it didn't involve seagulls or onion rings this time. Because I'm lazy, when I'm in my bedroom and when something needs to be thrown away in the trashcan, I usually toss it across the room and 9 times out of 10 whatever I'm throwing lands directly in the trashcan. This time it involved an empty mini can of Coke, but please don't ask me why I drink these mini cans of Coke. As I performed my most skillful shot, the empty can sailed across the room and landed perfectly balanced on the edge of the open trashcan's lid. If I had tried to do that exact shot a million times over, the result would never happen again like it did yesterday. Fate? Was I holding my mouth the right way? Were the planets in perfect alignment? Was it just a freak accident? Or is this a sign I should try out for The Harlem Globetrotters?