SOMEONE OUT HERE LOVES ME!

Oh no! This can’t be! Who would do such a thing and not want sexual favors in return? OOOPS…maybe I spoke too soon! Please read on and experience the mental orgasm I had from discovering/rediscovering how friendship via the ole blogosphere transcends time and distance. I highly recommend you add the links below to your list of "must reads".

There’s No Place Like Home?

"It’s my mother blog. It’s my sister blog. It’s my mother and my sister blog."

Okay, so I paraphrased a quote from Chinatown. Sue Me. I used it as an example of just how screwed up and fickle I am. After reaching the bottom of a very empty blogspot barrel and realizing I had nothing left to scrape, I did what I thought was necessary. I closed down and came back to my mother blog, hoping for some kind of renewal…a kind of blog barrel refilling, so to speak.

Unfortunately, mother/home/blog no longer offered sweet repose on her ample bosom. The old gal had undergone plastic surgery, an extreme makeover, a rethinking of old values and decided sitting around waiting for an errant son was not her cup of Earl Grey. Stupid bitch was out partying.

Not to mention, most of the kids I went to blog school with were no longer here. What I hoped would be a stay filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread and pies while visiting with good friends on the stoop, turned out to be disappointing. A post-it note on the fridge telling me to "throw a lean cuisine in the microwave if I got hungry" didn’t quite have the warmth I was hoping for.

So, I did what most ungrateful brats do in today’s world. I left my blog a mess, hopped a boxcar, and hoped ma blog would clean up the place and put a candle in the window…for the time when I would grace the ol’ gal with another visit when I was down and out…or in need of money.

I returned to the newer place I had shuttered a few months earlier, reopened and decided Thomas Woolfe was correct. Bye, Bye Blog American Pie.

Anyway, one of the reasons I had returned to Ma Blog in the first place was to reunite with my first blog love/kindred spirit, Red Kitten. She was the first person I met in blogland and I always felt a certain camaraderie that was warm and fuzzy from the get-go. She left the Spaces ship last year, and though I missed her and checked for her return often, I never did more than that. (I never claimed to be a good son or a good friend.) I always have good intentions, but…well, enough of my deficiencies.

Point is, RK was gone and ol’ ma blog was out doing her Thouroughly Modern Millie thing. What reason did I have to stay? Spaces still moved like compacted shit through a diseased colon and…

Well, bust my buttons, Dorothy, Red Kitten has returned from the land of OZ. Of course, I’m somewhere else on the Yellow Brick Road, hawking home-made poppyseed bread and pastries, but it sure is nice to see her safe and sound in her own backyard. Now, if she would just ditch the blue gingham and pigtails.

If, for some reason, someone stumbles upon this roadside stand, do yourself a favor (after buying a poppyseed brownie and an apple smoothie from yours truly) and head on over to Abnormally Normal People. Find out what truth in bloggertising is all about.

Me? I’m At The Altar of My Ego if you’re interested. I’ll be the one sticking straw down my tin jockstrap in an effort to ease the pain of, you know, wearing a tin jockstrap (tin doesn’t breathe, damnit).

COMMENTS 

Wayward
MAY 9, 2009 AT 6:03 AM EDIT
Karen,Nice post, but is it really love….Happy Mother’s Day! 

Peace, Love, Hippie Stuff,Wayward Bill

Stephen Craig
MAY 10, 2009 AT 7:41 AM EDIT
Dear Karen, Wishing you a very Happy Mother’s Day and As ever be well


Jock
MAY 10, 2009 AT 1:35 PM EDIT
Karen: You do me honor, and it’s not really necessary…although, a mental orgasm does sound intriguing. It’s true, of course, that an internet friendship does not replace the day to day, face to face, but in these times, when so many of us turn to the internet for some kind of connection, I’ll take whatever I can get. Now, about those sexual favors….Wayward Bill: Love is a many nuanced and multi-definitioned word. I can’t love Karen in the physical sense, but I can love what she stands for, what she’s been through in life, and what she brings to the table in a relationship. Does the fact that I will probably never meet her negate the "L" word. Hardly. She’s also smart enough to know that. But to makes things clearer for you, let me simply say…I love her for who she is. By the way, Karen: Hope your Mother’s day is filled with all kinds of love.

EbonyWyvernDragon
MAY 10, 2009 AT 2:17 PM EDIT
Happy Mommy’s Day, my friend! Dragon