MATTERS OF THE HEART AND OTHER FAIRYTALES AND QUANDARIES

Often times little girls are misdirected into believing love is supposed to be some once upon a time fairytale just waiting to happen.  They read about love, dream about love and expect love to happen just as it's written. So what happens when those little girls get disillusioned and suffer from a broken heart? Some of them learn how to cope with real life while others become maniacal bitches who nag, manipulate and feel like they have to beg a man for his attention. They become willing to do anything just to be loved.  Yes, sometimes their lives become a scene right out of the movie, Fatal Attraction and when confronted with reality, they get insulted that anyone might think their behavior is erratic, illogical and just down right mean or insane at times. A snake has more warmth than a spurned woman and its bite is a lot less venomous. Doesn't the old saying go something like, "hell has no fury like a woman's scorn?"

What happened the first time you had mind-blowing sex with someone and they never called again? Hopefully, everyone is saying to themselves, "I don't have an answer to that question because I've never had a one night stand."  Hopefully, each one of you has had mind-blowing sex followed by years of unadulterated bliss with the same person or you haven't suffered the slings and arrows of unrequited love. Unfortunately, for some of us that doesn't happen.  Unfortunately, some of us have mind blowing sex and if anything follows at best, it might be a mind-blowing abusive relationship. Yep! Some of us allow ourselves to believe that we can conquer or fix anything and everything and each time we allow ourselves to remain oblivious to the writing on the wall, we get repeatedly hurt  Being blinded by false love only gives the green light for more abuse to occur.  Sure, we're afraid to walk away because we have a fear of the unknown. Because of that fear we allow our self-worth to be so badly beaten down that sometimes it becomes non-existent.  For the lucky ones when enough abuse occurs, our survival instinct finally kicks in and we get the hell out of Dodge quickly with our suitcase and what's left of our dignity in hand! But a crucial lesson we all have to learn is not to piss and moan continually about the Neanderthal we live with unless we're ready to stand up and do something about our situation.  Until we have the strength to help ourselves, we really can't expect people to support our decisions and to give us the empathy we need. Before then it's just another sad soap opera playing out and we are the drama queen extraordinaires.

Yep, I've been through it myself...looked down the barrel of a loaded gun more than once. Been tied up for a sessions of sexual fun and games only to end up having my breast used as an ashtray. The scar makes me shake my head and wonder what the hell I was thinking then...obviously I wasn't thinking and didn't have much self-respect or self-worth.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly with the expectation of a different result. Well, quite a long time ago I decided to get off that roller coaster ride and walk on flat ground again.  It was then I decided that the insanity I was living really wasn't appealing and I deserved a better life even if that better life meant being alone and as I always say being alone is a much better place to be than being with the wrong person...and a much safer place! Finding the courage to admit that and then actually removing myself from the game long enough for me to reevaluate my priorities and needs wasn't easy to do, but I did it because I knew I was long overdue for a change.  The insanity, the drama, the turmoil and the negativity had to stop!  Now, after 9 long years of being out of the relationship/dating game, I'm slowly getting to know someone again that I knew when I was a young girl before all the madness began.  Time will tell what happens, but until then at least now I know what I do and don't want and need and I have the courage to walk away if I see any red flags.  The hardest thing for me right now isn't telling myself that I'm worthy of getting to know.  It's believing it!

Repost from June 24, 2014

UPDATE: Here it is January 9, 2023, I'm still floating free in the cosmos amongst the other galactic matter...

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

 

BORN TO BE MILD

As I get older, that edge I once teetered on no longer is an edge. It’s more a quiet stroll amongst the herd with no edge in sight. I can’t begin to tell you my dislike for mellowing with age and although it seems to happen to the best of us, every now and then when that wild hair still tickles, I still listen. Okay, it’s not exactly a wild hair anymore. It’s more like an annoying itch that needs to be scratched a little. I have a friend (name excluded to protect the guilty) who definitely understands my need to be "bad" every now and then and indulges me by letting me scratch my itch. Whenever we go see a movie we most always "double-dip". This custom started when we went to see Star Trek. I suppose after watching something that made me think about my misspent youth, I was inspired to scratch the itch by doing a double-dip (the second movie I didn’t pay to see). I walked out of one movie and into another. There definitely are advantages of being an average middle-aged woman. We blend in with the scenery! So as I sat and watched the second movie, The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past I did so with a smile on my face. When I realized I was smiling at my own actions and not at anything I was watching, I actually laughed out loud. Age really has mellowed me and that wild hair is so easily sated these days. 

Gratitude statement: I'm grateful to have gone from being born to be wild to being born to be mild all in one lifetime!

*Repost from October 28, 2010

ELECTRONIC CRACKHEADS

The world today really isn’t so much different than when I was younger. Wars happened, natural disasters happened, politics and religion were corrupt, demonstrators marched, our parents didn’t understand us and yes, we even had the wheel and fire way back then. The biggest difference I see is with how the basic building blocks of childhood are developed. What we didn’t have was the kind of electronic “crack” that children today are exposed to 24/7.

Children actually played outside from sunrise to sunset exploring their own little corners of the universe and watched television only on Saturday mornings and in the evening before going to bed with the rest of the family on the one and only television in the household located in the livingroom. Children used their imaginations and weren’t dependent solely upon outside stimulus for entertainment. Our minds were our greatest asset, not our gaming system or computer. In schools, we had physical education, art and music. At home, we rode bicycles, ran, jumped and climbed trees. 

Some of my fondest memories as a child were of the games we’d organize as a neighborhood. We’d play hide 'n seek, kickball and dodgeball just to name a few. We'd have water balloon fights and snowball fights. My days were filled with interacting with other children and not being stuck off in my bedroom alone with my computer and who knows what! When I see how lazy and unmotivated most children are now, it easily explains the obesity and apathy that runs rampant in the youth of today. Sure, I ate potato chips and drank Coke, but I ate them and worked them off. I didn’t grab a bag of chips and a can of Coke and then barricade myself in my room for the rest of the day only to come out for more food. We only remained inside on those days the weather prevented us from being outside with our friends...and enemies. On those “bad” days we usually read books or played board games with our siblings or with our closest neighbors. 

The amount of sophistication required now to hold a child's attention is ridiculous, not to mention very costly. No wonder so many of our youth suffer from attention deficit problems. Is there a solution? Not as long as parents use electronic devices as babysitters. Not as long as parents don’t see the long-term effects of the “crack” their children are given. Not as long as parents stay as unmotivated as their children are and don't take an active roll in their child's upbringing. Try having a “family night” for starters. Turn off the TV and play a board game or go learn to play a sport as a family. Try getting together with the other parents in the neighborhood and organizing “play days” for the young children. Find afterschool activities that require not only social interaction, but also physical activity. 

I think all children should be challenged to go some extended period of time without having access to televisions, computers and any electronic devices while at home. This isn’t as a punishment, but as a learning experience. I did that when my children were growing up and actually found it to be a welcome break at times and nice to connect with each other on a more personal level. After the whining ceased and the effects of cold turkey withdrawal subsided, my children prevailed and discovered sunlight did not cause spontaneous combustion and social interaction didn't cause some terrible social disease.

*Repost from November 10, 2011

COUNT VON COUNT COUNTS THE VOTE

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

According to USA Today the safest place in the world is Iceland, which ranks number one on the 2022 Global Peace Index. Iceland, with a score of 1.107, has held this position on the GPI for over a decade.

[The United States is ranked 129th.]

The top 10 safest places in the world to live are:

1.   Iceland
2.   New Zealand
3.   Ireland
4.   Denmark
5.   Austria
6.   Portugal
7.   Slovenia
8.   Czech Republic
9.   Singapore
10. Japan

The top 10 safest places to live in the United States are:

1 Vermont

2 Maine

3 New Hampshire

4 Utah

5 Hawaii

6 Massachusetts

7 Connecticut

8 Minnesota

9 Washington

10 Rhode Island

The top 10 happiest places to live in the world are:

1.  Finland
2.  Denmark
3.  Iceland
4.  Switzerland
5.  Netherlands
6.  Luxembourg
7.  Sweden
8.  Norway
9.  Israel
10 New Zealand

For the fifth year in a row, Finland is the world’s happiest country, according to World Happiness Report rankings based largely on life evaluations from the Gallup World Poll.

The Nordic country and its neighbors Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Iceland all score very well on the measures the report uses to explain its findings: healthy life expectancy, GDP per capita, social support in times of trouble, low corruption and high social trust, generosity in a community where people look after each other and freedom to make key life decisions.

Denmark comes in at No. 2 in this year’s rankings, followed by Iceland at No. 3. Sweden and Norway are seventh and eighth, respectively.

Switzerland, the Netherlands and Luxembourg take places 4 through 6, with Israel coming in at No. 9 and New Zealand rounding out the top 10.

Canada (No. 15), the United States (No. 16) and the United Kingdom (No. 17) all made it into the top 20.

[I'm seeing a trend here between cold weather and happiness! OH NO!]

Top 10 smartest countries in the world by IQ:

1.   Japan

2.   Taiwan 

3.   Singapore

4.   Hong Kong

5.   China

6.   South Korea 

7.   Belarus

8.   Finland 

9.   Liechtenstein

10. Germany

[The United States ranks 28th]

Top 20 higher education systems in the world:

1 Finland

2 Japan

3 South Korea

4 Denmark

5 Russia

6 Norway

7 United Kingdom

8 Israel

9 Sweden

10 Hong Kong

11 Netherlands

12 Belgium 

13 Germany

14 China

15 Singapore 

16 Portugal

17 Hungary

18 Estonia

19 France

20 United States

Top  20 countries in health care: 

1.   Denmark

2.   Norway 

3.   Switzerland  

4.   Sweden  

5.   Finland 

6.   Netherlands 

7.   New Zealand  

8.   Germany   

9    Luxembourg  

10. Austria  

11. Iceland  

12. Ireland

13. United Kingdom  

14. Canada  

15. Singapore  

16. Australia  

17. Hong Kong  

18. United States  

19. Japan  

20. Taiwan

[Please note that the United States spends more on Health Care than any other country yet ranks 18th.]  

[Please note that although the United States spends more than any other country on health care its life expectancy is lower than all others.]

Top 10 countries based on disposable income per capita: (identifying how much money a person has available to spend on goods and services after paying their taxes)

1.   United States

2.   Luxembourg

3.   Switzerland

4.   Germany

5.   Australia

6.   Norway

7.   Austria

8.   Belgium

9.   Netherlands

10. Canada

Top 10 wealthiest countries:

1.   United States - $18.62 Tn
2.   China - $11.22 Tn
3.   Japan - $4.94 Tn
4.   Germany - $3.48 Tn
5.   United Kingdom - $2.65 Tn
6.   France - $2.47 Tn
7.   India - $2.26 Tn
8.   Italy - $1.86 Tn
9.   Brazil - $1.80 Tn
10. Canada - $1.53 Tn

Top 10 countries in fire arm-related deaths:

1.  Brazil

2.  United States

3.  Mexico

4.  India

5.  Columbia

6.  Philippines

7.  Guatemala

8.  Nigeria

9.  Iraq

10. Ethiopia

Top 10 countries in drug abuse related deaths:

1.   United States

2.   Canada

3.   Australia

4.   Libya

5.   Nigeria

6.   Estonia

7.   Russia

8.   Cameroon

9.   Arab Emirates

10. Finland

Top 10 countries in alcohol related deaths:

1.   Belarus

2.   Mongolia

3.   Russia

4.   Guatemala

5.   Slovenia

6.   El Salvador

7.   Ukraine

8.   Poland

9.   Latvia

10. Estonia

(The United States ranks 28th in alcohol related deaths)

I think if anyone takes some time to scrutinize these numbers one might come to some alarming conclusions about where they live and how our government spends our tax dollars. This downslide didn't happen overnight. It's been happening for decades. It happened on BOTH sides of the aisles! There was a time when the United States ranked on top of everything including education and healthcare. Now our claim to fame seems to be that we are a military superpower. Yes, that's important, but so are other things. What about poverty and the homeless? We still have starving people in this country. Once our country was a much safer place to live and if I remember correctly people seemed happier and less proned to violence. Children played outside and didn't have to fear for things like school shootings. Now the world is such a fractured place to live. We can't all move to the Nordic countries to find peace and happiness, can we? So what are they doing that we aren't doing? What's the solution? We can't turn back the hands of time, but what we can do is hold the people we vote in office accountable for the state of our union. They are voted there to represent us, the people of this country and it's time they start doing their job and stop fucking around. GET THE JOB DONE!