I always joke around and say I live on the Redneck Riviera, but for anyone who has never visited this part of Florida let me give you a better picture of what it's like. First, we boast having the world's whitest beaches. PERIOD! From Pensacola to Apalachicola life consists of a variety of paces from slow to slower within each quaint community. Most of the beaches aren't wall to wall people unless that's what you're into and then there's spots that cater to that sort of thing. Just ask anyone where spring breakers go and they'll point you to some crowds or ask where the hot spots are for vacationing. On the other hand, there's some beaches along the Redneck Riviera you can walk for miles and never see another person. That's serenity at its finest...sun, surf and the sweet smell of the Gulf of Mexico.
The further East you go, the small communities that are tucked in between the larger ones are nothing more than spectacular. One such community owns a large part of my heart. When I was 30, I moved to Port St Joe, Florida and then moved to St. Joe Beach soon after and worked at the Driftwood Inn on Mexico Beach. It was the only motel I had ever seen that didn't have phones in the rooms. At first, I didn't get it, but then slowly as I saw the stressed out businessmen and their families come to Mexico Beach and leave ready to go back to work, I finally got it. Not long after I started working at the Driftwood, I worked my way into the position of general manager. It was then, I really saw how much people really appreciated the solitude of Mexico Beach. It always surprised me at how generous so many of the people were upon checking out. Those people would always thank me and give me a tip for making their stay at the Driftwood exactly what they needed.
Long after I moved back to Pensacola, the Driftwood and Mexico Beach continued to grow, yet it never lost its quaintness. No high rises, no fast food restaurants, no large grocery store chains and no Walmarts...in fact, to get all of that you had to drive about 20 miles into Panama City to the west or about 15 miles into Port Saint Joe to the East (as far as I know St. Joe still doesn't have a Walmart). At the time I lived there, the only convenience store was on St Joe Beach. I'm fairly certain over the years it hasn't change too much. The community is largely an "artsy" place to live and features annual art, wine and photography festivals. A large part of what has shaped Mexico Beach are the Wood family, owners of the Driftwood Inn who are very accomplished artists in their own right.
It makes me sick every time I think of the destruction Hurricane Michael unleashed upon an area of the world with such pristine beaches. My heart goes out to anyone who lost their home and/or business. I hope each person has the courage to rebuild and come together as a community to restore the Pre-Hurricane Michael tranquility and well-being they had just a few days ago.
I'd like to share pictures of Florida's Northern Gulf Coast that I know and love starting with Pensacola Beach and ending with Apalachicola.
(A repost with some editing from long, long ago because I'm lazy today...)
I know there are far worse things in life than being alone.... like being with the wrong person. Maybe at this point in my life emerging from "my cave" with a checklist of wants and desires after a very long time-out and finding "the perfect man" is just too much trouble for what it's worth. Somewhere along the line my judgment where potential mates are concerned went way off the deep end, so I figured I'm better off tucked away in my cave with a Coke and a smile. Perhaps, fate will take care of the problem since I spend no time actively looking for "the perfect man." I guess he'll just have to come find me if he's really out there! :)
From my extensive chronicles as a single adult, I have found most (BUT not all) men I have met, dated and/or married or lived with fall into one or more of the following categories below:
1. Merv the Perv ---- Merv believes using feathers is great, but using the whole chicken is more erotic. Monogamy to this man is all about being faithful to each one of the many members of his very large harem only while spending time with each one of them before moving onto the next. He loves the internet, bars, parties and crowds and can be identified on the internet by some clearly exaggerated erotic name like "lovedoctor69" or "muffdiver4u" or by flitting about a party collecting phone numbers and copping a feel here and there. Check out the size of his friend list on whatever social network he uses and the extensive list of porn sites saved on his Favorites. That should indicate just how "into" you he really is. He clearly is trying to make up for what he lacks in real life and the size of his friend list is in direct correlation to how much of a legend he thinks he has become online.
2. Screwy Louie the Psycho Man ---- Louie needs psychiatric counseling and major drug therapy, but thinks he's nothing more than a case study for being well-adjusted and normal. He usually wallows in self-pity, abuses drugs and alcohol and claims he's a loser or an asshole whenever he's confronted about his problems. Do yourself a favor and believe him! On the internet and in real life, Louie is usually the instigator. He loves to fan the flames of controversy and anger and get things stirred up because the words "serenity" and "harmony" are not in his vocabulary. In real life, he's the guy who always has some major crisis happening and of course, none of his problems are ever his own fault.
3. Peter Pan ---- Peter lives in NeverNeverLand and emotionally never advanced past puberty. He still loves cartoons and goes nowhere without his PlayStation or some other favorite toy. When selecting a mate, he chooses the one best suited to take care of him. He has dreams, but is quite content to let them remain just dreams. Peter is the guy who falls in love with every woman who shows him any attention. On the internet, he's the one who'll send a rose to all the ladies on his favorite social network site in hopes someone will notice him. In real life, his child-like qualities are initially endearing until you figure out that his whole life is spent in "playtime".
4. Dudley Doright ---- Dudley believes all women need to be rescued because they are helpless, weak creatures. He's quick to offer his help, but if you look closer he has control issues disguised as being a nice guy. Look closer and you'll see a chauvinist lurking underneath. He'll fix your car, hang a ceiling fan and give you a crash course on football, just as long as you stay needy and dependent upon him. Never show Dudley you have a brain or opinions contrary to his. Ladies flutter your eyelashes and Dudley will be forever yours! This guy is the "go-to" guy on the internet. Got a computer problem? He's your man!
5. Jim Baker Revisited ---- Jim preaches religion and/or the Golden Rule, but lives by other standards which are self-centered and hedonistic. Look up "morally challenged" in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of this man next to the definition. Jim is an uninhibited party animal on Saturday night, but always gets right with God every Sunday morning. This guy is omnipotent, dominates everything especially relationships and is as much a predator as Merv the Perv is. On the internet or in real life, he's usually the "misunderstood" married man or ladies man just looking for a "friend" because he's in a loveless marriage or doesn't want any real involvement. He's a smooth talker and knows how to manipulate people into his way of thinking. Ladies beware!
6. Cinderfella ---- Cinderfella should never be confused with Dudley Doright. This man is the virtual handyman, also and will fix anything for you, but his motivation to do so is entirely different than Dudley's. This guy is a doormat and usually goes after the high maintenance women and plays the martyr role well. He's been used and abused by the best and is more than willing to share his sad story with you. This guy will bend over any stump you put in front of him just as long as you keep him busy and toss him a bone every now and then. He cleans up well, can be taken out in public, but don't expect him to be too stimulating as a mate. He's too busy kissing your ass and being pussy whipped to be anything more than a "yes" man.
7. Kevin the Chameleon ---- Kevin is whatever you need him to be and will change his colors to fit into any environment or situation. Of all the categories, this man is the most diverse and omnipotent. His objective is to gain control in any way he can and once he has control, you are his to do as he pleases... a mere puppet. This man is powerful and easily gathers people into his flock. See Hitler, Charles Manson or Jim Jones as an extreme example of being a
8. Dr. Jekkyl/Mr. Hyde ---- Initially Dr. Jekkyl seems to be the picture of perfection until Mr. Hyde appears out of nowhere. This dynamic duo is very obvious once set into motion and can be seen as a good cop-bad cop routine, a very complex man of extremes. This roller coaster keeps their partner always guessing and never knowing quite what to expect. Moody and brooding on one hand and then turns playful and elated. The triggers are never apparent and this man, in many instances, can be emotionally and physically abusive. Of all the categories, this man is the most unpredictable and the most likely to be classified as an "emotional vampire".
9. Mr. Mom --- Mr. Mom is that strange fellow who looks and acts very much like a typical soccer mom, yet he's quite masculine. This guys does it all and does it well, except it's virtually impossible to start a relationship with this guy because his children ALWAYS come first even after they've grown up and left the nest. Be ware if he brings one or all of them on your first date! He's getting their feedback before taking it to the next level! If a relationship is established, the children will always be the buffer between you and Mr. Mom.
10. Billy Badboy --- Billy is sexy as hell, wild and carefree. He makes living on the edge look appealing enough to try it for awhile. Relationships and this type of man just don't mix well (like oil and water). Save this guy as a real treat when you're up for having an affair or just some good old cheap, sleazy sex. He's so good in bed you'll keep going back for more hoping each time he'll tone down the badboy act enough to want a relationship. It takes awhile to catch on that this guy is never going to change! He likes how being a badboy makes him feel. Nothing not even love can take its place.
11. Joe the Jock --- Joe comes in two styles: the actual jock and the wannabe jock (armchair quarterback). Both versions are totally obsessed with sports to the point of never having any free time for the women in their lives. Joe is usually married to a "football widow" and occasionally he lucks out and finds his ideal match in Cheryl the Cheerleader or Julie the Jock. Joe has his teams he remains so loyal to that you can always gauge how his team is doing by his daily demeanor and moods. Inside Joe's house is usually a shrine devoted to his teams and a special area for sports equipment and/or other sporting paraphernalia. Ladies, NEVER get sick or die on Superbowl Sunday or else you'll be doing it alone!
From experience, finding the ideal mate indicates to me that Murphy's Laws are alive and well and that the elusive perfect man is like the lush green grass growing on the other side of the fence! If you do happen to find him, just throw some weed and feed down a few times a year and leave the rest up to nature.
Michael Morra aka Rockets Redglare had a personality that was larger than life itself. His mere presence filled any room he happened to enter. I met Mike many years ago before he was known as Rockets Redglare. We both had the good fortune to find our way to the same drug rehab center tucked away in the woods of Northern Maine. Our friendship formed when we discovered we had a very similar twisted sense of humor. He always called me his "Pig Sister" and he was my "Pig Brother." Somehow we extracted these terms of endearment from William Peter Blatty's, The Exorcist (the movie had yet to be made). Many people at the rehab role-played as cheap form of entertainment. We had to do something to keep our sanity or what was left of it by that time.
When I close my eyes, I can picture Mike strutting across the stage doing his rendition of Mick Jagger. The truly funny thing was that Mike did Mick Jagger better than Mick did himself. While Mike belted out Midnight Rambler, for a few minutes we, his captive audience were transported magically to someplace else...a magical place far from Kinsman Hall. Sometimes that was all we needed to get through another day. Thank you, Mike for those moments of joyful surrender. I was pleased when I find out Mike had gone on to act in several movies and was a stand-up comedian in the Lower East Side of New York City. The thought of that larger than life personality entertaining others seemed like a natural progression to me. Whether it was selling drugs or making people laugh, Mike was a natural at everything he did.
Like many friendships our friendship fell by the wayside. I don't think everyone who enters our lives is meant to go the distance. Knock! Knock! Who's there? And then they enter. They stay awhile sometimes making a lasting impression on our hearts and souls and then they leave us with memories to always cherish. Our lives had simply gone in different directions after we left rehab. For a short while, we stayed in touch and then silence. Pig Brother and Pig Sister were no more. Many years later, I watched a movie made about Mike's life. As the tears streamed down my face, I knew that we, the residents of Kinsman Hall who knew and loved Mike had gotten the best he had to give and all those years he spent after we knew him was a steady, tragic, downward spiral until Mike died from kidney and liver failure caused from a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse.
Mike was a junkie before he was ever born. His mom was a fifteen-year-old addict who passed her addiction to her son while still in utero. They had to put methadone in his baby formula. Michael's father wasn’t any more of a positive influence than his mother. A career criminal, he was not afraid to conduct “business” (including murder) in front of his young son, and was eventually deported back to Italy after robbing a local post office. Left to support her family and a drug addiction, Mike's mother turned to prostitution for income. Mike eventually left home when his mother took up with an abusive ex-boxer, who eventually beat her to death. After his mother died, Mike changed his name to Rockets Redglare. He was a true American original and was as bright as his new name...Rockets Redglare.
Many people in and around the New York City's drug culture believed Mike was the person who killed Nancy Spungen (girlfriend of Sid Vicious of the punk rock band, The Sex Pistols) Mike was one of Sid and Nancy's local drug dealers who had been in the apartment the night Nancy was murdered while Sid was passed out elsewhere in the apartment. Whoever killed Nancy stabbed her once with Sid's knife and left her to bleed to death. The next morning, she was found dead. The roll of cash that was in the apartment the night before mysteriously turned up missing and suddenly Mike was out buying drinks for people, an act he never participated in doing before then. When asked by a close friend where he got the money, he admitted to stabbing Nancy and ripping off Sid. Whether or not that was the truth, no one will ever know for sure because the truth died with Nancy, Sid and Rockets Redglare. All else at this point is pure speculation. I'd like to believe my friend is innocent, but I know how drugs twist and deviate a person until they're unrecognizable. I just hope wherever Mike's spirit is now, it rests in the peace he never knew in life.
Occasionally, I attempt to do Words for Wednesday which started quite awhile ago and has been kept alive by many people. Each week new words are given to be used in whatever creative style speaks to you. I usually choose poetry [poorly written poetry], while others write short stories. When I do participate, I'm usually a day or two late. Sorry! So if this is something you'd like to try, check it out on Mumblings [the person who started Words for Wednesday] or on Drifting through life to get the weekly words.
This weeks words are:
perfume, blanket, blue, market, voltage, feline
and/or
exotic, throttle, oven, comprehend, toss and trespass
Tiptoe nimbly past her exoticmarket of many delights
Ignore the NO TRESPASS sign and the flashing neon lights
A sleeping feline in a soft, silky blueblanket smiles
Knowing they smell the sweet, seductive perfume vials Comprehend and tosshumanity in that self-righteous oven
Voltage on! Throttle Up! Feel the heat of forbidden loving.
Tiptoe nimbly down the path, tiptoe nimbly beyond the signs
Tiptoe nimbly, always nimbly to where a smiling feline dines.
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