Sunday, May 31, 2020

The Wetter The Better

There's a few rules in life and one of them is to never make me the bartender...NEVER!  I don't follow recipes very well. I'm a do my own thing type of person after I get the basics down. 



You see we had a rather small family gathering for my daughter's birthday and it involved strawberry daiquiris and social distancing and cupcakes that my son-in-law couldn't believe I made because they looked like they had been professionally made. Oh yeah, I'm that good when I want to be! The birthday party was great, but my "normal" evening consists of sitting in my backyard, listening to music and shooting the shit with Martha while we social distance across the chain link fence lit by tiki torches. 

After the birthday party, I made a "special" blender full of daiquiris just for Martha and me and I don't drink or I should say I may drink something maybe once a year so this was designated as "my once a year."  After four strong drinks and some tsunami strength Surfing in a Hurricane weed for medicinal purposes only (I see you rolling your eyes) I was one with the world and ready to boogaloo down Broadway in my flamingo mask, but Pensacola doesn't have a Broadway unfortunately or maybe it was a fortunate thing for the inhabitants of Northwest Florida. I've never gotten the feeling that the South has ever been quite ready for this Yankee all the years I've lived here. I've always felt like a fish out of water or a flamingo amongst a flock of geese.

Martha almost got the hose after me last night because I threatened to jump...no, not off a bridge or a building. I jumped up and down one night not long ago when I was pretty baked and I felt like dancing and it was the WRONG thing to do. Someone with as many disc/spinal problems as I have shouldn't jump...EVER! I found that out after the second or third jump. I was in so much pain I whimpered that I needed to sit down NOW and that jumping was the wrong thing to do. Enlightenment always comes quickly with pain! Martha's husband told her to get the hose if I ever tried to jump again, so she run and got the hose last night. She was ready to blast me with it. I kept telling her I was going to do it, but I was just yanking her chain. Imagine that! Me yanking someone's chain? You see, if I were her I would have soaked me just on general principles and laughed at me while I screamed and hollered as the cold water baptized me. The wetter the better I say and Martha could have put this fish back in the water where I belong!

16 comments:

  1. Sounds like "a good time was had by all," as they say. I got all giggly and happy on strawberry daiquiris once in Maui. They are so delicious and go down so easily that before you know it, BAM, you're drunk.

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    1. Yes, they do go down easily especially when you're stoned. Oops! My bad! Am I on restriction?

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  2. ummmmmmmmmmmmm, cuppycakes and strawberry daiquiris...can't think of a better way to spend a saturday night!

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  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12Z6pWhM6TA

    Rumor has it she was snockered on strawberry daiquiris when she recorded this song.

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    1. That was so cute! I was expecting a drunk bitch in a tutu singing some offkey song.

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  4. She SHOULD have soaked you.
    But that response might be because it is not yet dawn here and I am thinking (longingly) of a lime daiquri - something I haven't had in years. And years.

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    1. What? I see how you are! Well, if we ever get through this pandemic, you need to come for a visit and I promise I'll make you a lime daiquiri and I'll even let you soak me with my hose. We can even sing some songs and dance in my backyard. How's that sound?

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  5. I thought weed was the answer to pain. Don't tell anyone about your pain on high. You could set a whole movement back a hundred years.

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    1. Now Mike it doesn't work that way. High or not, if you hurt yourself it's still going to hurt. No amount of pain med is going to take away the pain completely if you do something stupid like jam your disc together that are already injured.

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  6. Weed and daiquiris sound pretty good to me! I love a good daiquiri.

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  7. oh the pain; on the embarrassment. What fun !

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  8. God I need to come to one of your Backyard Parties! Surfing in a Tsunami Weed, Daiquiris, getting Hosed... what Fun, you sure know how to Lock Down!

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    1. Come on down or over or where the hell are you anyway? The weed I speak of is Jimmy Buffett's line of Coral Reefer. Surfing in the Hurricane (tsunami strength)...he has several in his line (all very nice) but I like that one along with Sunset Sailing and Island Time. "Martha" and I always have fun. We've had fun since we were four years old back in Maine. It's hard to believe we've known each other a lifetime and she still wants to soak me with a hose and not want to give me an enema with it. Hell, I better not give her any ideas and I better be thankful there's a fence between us. lol

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