Recently, I’ve been innocently challenged to think about my current relationship status. The million-dollar question seemed to be: How could Red Kitten spend Valentine’s Day flowerless or "uncandied"? Was it just a rude oversight on someone’s part or perhaps a harmless stroke of bad luck that the deliveries were never made? Or could the rumor be true? Is Red Kitten really just a cave-dwelling feline who only comes out periodically to hunt, to feed and to occasionally mate?
Over the years (ten to be exact) that I have been single, many people have inquired why I am alone. Often times, the question almost seemed like the person was implying that being alone meant that I must be defective in some way. Yes, I have 10 toes, 1 head and 2 arms! I hold down a full time job and am self-sufficient in every way. Okay, I have to confess it’s hard to get to my age without having some baggage or defects, but I do try to keep my defects to a minimum and small enough to fit in an overnight size bag inside of one of those bulky steamer size captain’s trunks or huge cargo crates.
I must admit I am abnormally normal so that binds me to living a life filled with doing my own thing whatever that thing may be. I am proud to say that there is no one I pine away for or look at as "the one that got away." In fact, the truth is simple and fairly obvious as I examine my past. If any of my potential love interest slipped away empty-handed, they must have done so because they were oblivious to the fact of what a great catch they tossed back into the pond. [LOL] Because my heart is void of any emotional entanglements at this time, that might lead a person to wonder if free spirits ever miss being in love and what type of expectations they have for the future.
First, I would like to say that I learned long ago that being alone is
MUCH better than being with the wrong person. I would also like to say that I see no point in dating just for the sake of dating. Quite frankly, it’s been a long time since I’ve met anyone who I’d like to get to know better, but I suppose if I did meet someone who piqued my interest I would allow my curiosity to be more than superficially satisfied. I’m not opposed to emotional entanglements, I simply am not actively seeking one right now. Perhaps, what needs to happen is "it" needs to find me and convince me that life is too short to put things on hold for long periods of time. Afterall, when is the right time for love? It isn’t something that can be planned for or done in an orderly way. Nothing about falling in love is logical…at best, it’s chaotic and quite overwhelmingly intense.
I suppose some people might consider me a picky person because I haven’t met anyone who has tickled my fancy lately or because I do have certain preferences when it comes to which lures actually attract me. When one goes fishing, it’s crucial to use the proper bait if you expect to catch a fish. To attract a Red Kitten fish, a skilled fisherman would use the following things as bait:
1.Wit/Intelligence
2.Creativity/Originality
3.Honesty/Openness
The mystery of my solo status is one that can be easily solved. What really keeps me from throwing myself into the relationship arena? At this time in my life, I am the caregiver to my two elderly parents. My mother suffers from dementia, which has stripped away her desire to participate in the everyday activities of life. She no longer sees the need to do anything, but sit in a chair all day and stare at the floor. My stepfather is a dialysis patient with several other serious health problems. Neither can drive anymore and are completely dependent upon me for most of their basic needs. After working all day, it seems there is little time for anything else and my lovelife is at the bottom of the list. So if being single and not dating means I’m defective in some way then I must confess that yes, I am defective and will continue to stay defective until I feel I have the time and energy to devote myself to another human being besides my family.
Comments:₪Μy§TẲfiЄĐ₪
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 2:42 AM
Hello Karen
I’ve only then..just finished sharpening my fishing hooks
My step dad has dementia and…just reading how you’re looking after
both of your parents…I have total admiration for you
I don’t know how many people would realise how much work that
would be. I know that it would be more than a full time job!
This is a very good entry Karen
I like the way you write and…your honesty
and…the way you come to my space to comment.. ok?
I promise that, I’ll even put my fishing rod away 🙂
I hope you’re having a good weekend
Garry xo
Reeking Havoc's Lair
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 8:02 AM
Yeah, Worrying about it or rushing around in search mode tends to lock it into place, that’s what I learned from experience.Now that I’m happily married, I can’t make any plans to tickle your fancy, but if you’d post a picture of it I could use my imagination…
J W
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 12:25 PM
You defective!! Hardly. Perhaps one of the more open and grounded persons I’ve had the good pleasure to meet on this Spaces thing. I’d gladly give you a standing ovation if you could see or hear it. All good things come to those who wait….donkey crap! You aren’t waiting for anything. Truth be told, you are doing exactly what most people fear most….you are living one day at a time with responsibilities and quiet comfort in doing what comes natural to you. Frankly, I can’t see you just settling for anything mundane or repetitive. Your parents raised a responsible daughter indeed. A tip of the hat to you lady…..J.W.L.
Stephen
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 1:09 PM
Since you’re a caregiver that puts certain strains on you and your social life and that certainly plays a roll in getting out and doing your thing to mean anyone. I admire you for that you’re putting family first, but that doesn’t help you meet anyone as par for the course. I would try to be open as possible to dating someone and they will come along sooner or later. Obviously you’re loving and understanding so those are two great qualities that you have on your side. Just don’t get someone whom you have to take care of as well as everyone else. I wish you hope in meeting someone to date. You’re human and you have needs that aren’t being met currently, for that to hell what everyone else thinks – you’re you and that’s that.
I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!! 🙂
NATIVE
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 3:21 PM
You are perfectly fine to me, and I agree with John whole-heartedly. What is a relationship status anyway? Two people conjoined at the hip, making the wanderings more meaningful, or is it substantially more? Daring to hold on to such a rare thing as compatibility and concern. When that very lucky man stands upon your thresh hold and asks for your hand take that leap and be the happiest and most beautiful person we already know you are. You aren’t defective, either. Peace my friend.~DD
EbonyWyvernDragon
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 AT 4:21 PM
Hello Lady – I couldn’t agree with you more – being alone is FAR preferable to being in a bad relationship! I’ll never quite understand why it took me so long to learn that but……… i guess some of us are just slower than others!
I did not realize you had moved to the "caregiver" stage of the relationship with your parents – that is an extremely hard role to fulfill – especially working full time and having parents who need so much care…….. it is draining and exhausting. I completely admire the dedication you have to your family. They raised a wonderful daughter!
Remember, though, that in order to care for them, you need to care for yourself first. There are organizations (like local churches) who can arrange for a responsible adult to come care for your parents while you take a respite.
Please take care!
MotherHenDragon
Hanging Judge
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 1:39 AM
Greetings:
I love catfishing. The fillets when breaded and lightly deep-fried are terrrific.
My Courtroom is filling up with the guilty! 2 new trials are scheduled!!
Bittersweet on-the-hill.
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 10:31 AM
Hello Red Kitten,
This was a wonderfully written piece. Yes, elderly parents are a full time commitment and I’m happy that you have embraced the task. Nothing easy about it but when all is said and done, you will have no regrets. We were lucky with my Dad, and not so lucky with Mom. A tortuous, harrowing end – something she didn’t deserve. But we know life was never meant to be easy. At least that’s the refrain I say to myself. The one consolation…..you are not doing it in sub zero weather. Today continues with bone chilling wind and most of the week, rain, sleet and snow. February…..well I hate it!
The pup, little Sydney is doing well. Within a few days she was back to her precocious self. Our only recourse is an electric fence. So Wednesday hey will fence in 2 or 3 acres so she has the space to run and let all this energy out. I’m sure in time she\’ll slow down but if she has a chance of making it, I better invest in this fence. At the moment she resting in front of the woodstove after being outside the past two hours.
I’m satisfying myself by going through seed and flower catalogues. It’s the only way us northerners can make it through February. You take care lady. Bittersweet
Bittersweet on-the-hill.
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 11:17 AM
Karen,
I just had to come back. I was reading some of your other entries and then came upon your Super Bowl entry! So the Giants had no chance!!!! And Eli would have to wait another year or so before his opportunity for greatness???? Bonebreaking……bonebreaking indeed. Wasn’t the Giants offensive and defensive line just great? Laughing with you. I\’ve been a Giants fan since the years of Y.A. Tittle. I know pain and heartache. Go back and read my entry on the Super Bowl. It was a great game…..unexpected…..and great. Bittersweet
Jacqueline M
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 12:08 PM
I’m very glad I stumbled across your site this morning during my networking hours. In your honor for having what it takes to be the caretaker to your mother and step father. I heard a long time ago that child parent their parents as they were parented and for sure my mother does not or would not want me in that role. my father has passed and my mother is 84 and "just waiting" as she said on our last phone call. One of maybe two times a year we say four minutes worth of words to each other.
I love your thinking about this subject and though it\’s other things that keep me busy these days I know from past experience that when someone comes along that stirs me I\’d find the time but until then I have enough to fill my life with. great words here. LJ
JaAG
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 12:48 PM
Sounds like someone could use a good pirate joke. What do you get when you cross a zucchini and a pirate?
A squashbuckler! Argghh!
Keep smiling.
Kenneth
FEBRUARY 17, 2008 AT 3:05 PM
The third paragraph jumped out at me and hit me square between the eyes, the final chapter hit me in the heart.
I posses only one type of bait that you mention to catch a Red Kitten fish.
However, when I fished for women (years ago) a big fat juicy worm usually done the trick.
Jade
FEBRUARY 19, 2008 AT 10:36 AM
wow, a dragon told me to visit you..and I can see why. I’ll be back later.
Red
FEBRUARY 20, 2008 AT 2:36 AM
Jade, dragons are wise creatures…always listen to them! Thanks for dropping by and I look forward to your next visit.
Kenny, So which was more powerful..the heart or the mind?
Gandalfe, thanks for the joke!
Lady J talks, Thanks for commenting and I do hope you come stumbling back again soon.
Bittersweet, sigh! I’m glad to hear your "baby" is doing better.
Lood, you stay busier than anyone I know. I think you may need to expand and get another judge!
EbonyDragon, I’m only doing what I feel is right. They always were there for me and now it’s my turn to be there for them.
Double D, all this support is so wonderful. You guys really made me blush.
Stephen, now if I can find someone as wonderful as you then my situation with being a caregiver wouldn’t be something the person would mind at all…they would understand and support me…but in the real world there’s not many that would take on the kind of responsibility.
JWL, you’re making me get a swelled head. You don’t want that to happen…I might post something deep and meaningful then! LOL
Havoc, IF I ever find my fancy I’ll post a picture but I’m sure MSN will slap my hand and we wouldn’t want that to happen.
Garry, what do you have for bait over there? Anything I like?
