There are few absolutes in life. With the exception of birth, death and taxes everything else falls in a hazy gray area subject to loopholes, pitfalls and mediocrity. There is however one other thing I can say with 100% certainty about my life in general. No one should ever use my life as a model for sobriety. The road I've walked to get here has been an exhausting one. I did everything the Mildred Ratched method instead of doing them in a way that would have been faster, easier and with better results. Never being able to completely surrender has always been a huge problem for me. My inability to learn by other people's mistakes and having to do everything the hard way isn't due to any genetic mule-like tendency. My real problem stems from lack of trust.
When a person is damaged at a young age, they spend their entire life either trying to heal or trying to run away... or both.
Their futile attempts of trying to gain normalcy is like some slow emotional death sentence. Somehow they manage to prove ourselves right time after time by the unhealthy relationships they form and the tangled, drama-filled situations in which they become involved. The outcome is always the same...disaster, disappointment and despair. Throughout life I have learned how to skillfully navigate through failure, but never have learned the proper keys to success.
As long as I manage to remove drama and negativity from my life, I'm able to stay afloat. As long as I isolate myself from having any intimate relationships involving love and sex, my thinking stays relatively unclouded. As long as I have virtually no life, I can live drug free. So what! So what if I can say "Hey, look at me. I stopped doing drugs!" My life absent of drugs is far from what anyone would call a life. Every fiber in me screams at anyone looking at my life for answers to look elsewhere. Anyone looking at me needs to quickly come to the conclusion that they need to do things the right way and not the Mildred Ratched method. They need to find a way to let go and trust others. They need to stick with it and know anything good in life requires great patience and extreme effort.
So here I am 50 something years old and I'm wondering when the hell that happened. How have I managed to come so far, but never leave square one? The ugly truth is that I isolate myself just to stay sane, sober and safe. Surely, there could have, should have been some other way to get here, but Miss Mildred Mule picked the path of least resistance. She picked the path where all she had to do was do what she does best...listen to herself and no one else. Trust herself and no one else. In doing so, Mildred picked the path once again of self-destruction. Mildred's addiction without drugs is like a gun. She just keep loading her gun, placing it to her head and firing away. So far, her gun has shot blanks. So far all her gun has done is numb her to its horrors. So far, all her gun has done is kept her from living, from being able to succeed and be happy, from being able to accomplish anything that requires effort, focus and stamina. Pulling that trigger everyday is the easiest thing Mildred has ever done!
On November 8 and 9, 1992, Browne performed in Honolulu with Bonnie Raitt, Crosby, Stills & Nash and the Pahinui Brothers in a benefit concert for the victims of Hurricane Iniki which had devastated the island of Kauai two months earlier.
On October 25, 2014, Browne performed at the Arlington Theatre in Santa Barbara, California, in a benefit concert for Sanctuary Centers of Santa Barbara, a nonprofit providing mental health and co-occurring disorders treatment services. Jessie Bridges, Jeff Bridges and David Crosby also performed at this benefit. On August 11, 2015, he performed another benefit concert for Sanctuary Centers at the Santa Barbara Bowl.
In November 2013, Browne performed with students from School of Rock West LA and Burbank in a benefit concert for the Rock School Scholarship Fund, at the legendary Troubadour in West Hollywood. His set of hits including "Somebody's Baby", "Doctor My Eyes", and "Take It Easy" were all performed with students aged 13 to 17 accompanying him. Money raised went toward scholarships for children who want to attend any rock school in the USA but whose parents do not have the financial means.
In April 2012, Browne performed for Artists for the Arts benefit along with Glen Phillips of Toad the Wet Sprocket and the band Venice. The benefit was to keep arts and music in public schools funded and raised over $100,000. This was Browne's fifth appearance out of the nine annual shows that have taken place. The band Venice was the main act and performed all supporting music for the guest artists along with a student orchestra and choir from the Santa Monica High and Malibu High school districts. The concert, held at Barnum Hall, was a sold-out event.
In 2008, Browne contributed to the album Songs for Tibet, an initiative to support Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso, and to publicize the human rights situation in Tibet. The album was issued on August 5 via iTunes and on August 19 in music stores around the world.
Browne covered John Lennon's "Oh My Love" to benefit Amnesty International's campaign to alleviate the crisis in Darfur. The song appears on the album Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur, which was released on June 12, 2007, and features many other artists performing other John Lennon covers, such as R.E.M., Jack Johnson, U2, Avril Lavigne, Green Day, and The Black Eyed Peas.
Browne performed live and recorded The Beatles song medley "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight" in 1991 with Jennifer Warnes for the charity album For Our Children to benefit the Pediatrics AIDS Foundation. Browne and Warnes again performed it live for the Tucson, AZ, benefit concert.
Browne performed and sang the role of the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz in Concert: Dreams Come True, a 1995 musical performance for charity alongside Roger Daltrey, Natalie Cole, Nathan Lane, and other stars. The celebrity cast performed a reader's theatre and songs styled performance of the MGM film The Wizard of Oz at the Lincoln Center as a benefit for the Children's Defense Fund. VHS and CD recordings were released of the concert in 1996 by Rhino Records.
Browne covered Lowen & Navarro's "Weight of the World" on Keep The Light Alive: Celebrating The Music of Lowen & Navarro. The proceeds of the album benefit The Eric Lowen Trust, ALS Association Greater Los Angeles, and Augie's Quest.
Browne also held a benefit concert for the Rory David Deutsch Foundation which is dedicated to providing funding for brain tumor research and treatment.
In October 2010, Browne performed at both days of the 24th Annual Bridge School Benefit Concert, a yearly fundraiser established by Neil Young. The Bridge School assists children with severe physical impairments and complex communication needs. Browne also appeared at the 2010 NAMM Conference in Anaheim, California with Yoko Ono and Quincy Jones in support of the John Lennon Educational Tour Bus.
On March 10, 2011, Browne, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Alice Cooper, and others performed a benefit concert in Tucson, Arizona, benefiting The Fund For Civility, Respect, and Understanding, a foundation that raises awareness about and provides medical prevention and treatment services to people with mental disorders. The concert also benefited victims of the January 8, 2011, shootings in Tucson.
On July 23, 2013, Browne performed with the Kings of Leon and the Flaming Lips in Oklahoma City for Rock for Oklahoma, a benefit concert for Oklahoma tornado victims.
Browne has continued to provide exclusive music tracks for various charity and benefit albums, including Safety Harbor Kids Holiday Collection (where he sang the Johnny Marks holiday song "Silver and Gold" with longtime friend Lowell George's daughter, Inara George). Browne provided a live version of "Drums of War" for The People Speak Soundtrack. Other charity albums he has contributed to include: Acordes Con Leonard Cohen (song: "A Thousand Kisses Deep"), From Wharf Rats to Lords of the Docks Soundtrack (song: "Step By Step"), Shrink (the Kevin Spacey film soundtrack) (song: "Here"), Keep the Light Alive: Celebrating the Music of Eric Lowen and Dan Navarro (song: "Weight of the World"), and 1% for the Planet: The Music, Vol. 1 (a live version of "About My Imagination"), as well as many benefit concert and other appearances.
In 2002, Browne received the John Steinbeck Award, given to artists who exemplify the environmental and social values that Steinbeck believed in.
On March 14, 2004, Browne was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Bruce Springsteen. On June 7, 2007, he was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame.
In 2004, Browne was named an honorary Doctor of Music by Occidental College in Los Angeles for "a remarkable musical career that has successfully combined an intensely personal artistry with a broader vision of social justice." For "promoting peace and justice through his music and his unrelenting support for that which promotes nonviolent solutions to problems both nationally and internationally", Browne received the Courage of Conscience Awards from The Peace Abbey in Sherborn, Massachusetts.
In 2007, Browne was awarded the Chapin-World Hunger Year Harry Chapin Humanitarian Award.
In 2008, Browne received the NARM Harry Chapin Humanitarian Award.
In 2008, Browne received the Golden Plate Award of the American Academy of Achievement in recognition of his lifetime in the arts and dedication as a social activist. His award was presented by Awards Council member Senator Tom Daschle.
In 2018, Browne received the Gandhi Peace Award from the organization Promoting Enduring Peace. He is the first artist to receive the award.
By George, I think I have it all figured out! Now, all I have to do is figure out what to do with it...
I have given great thought to what I lovingly call my serotonin–norepinephrine–dopamine crisis aka The Big D (depression). Socrates would be so proud of me for leaving no stone unturned in my continuing crusade to examine my life. Yes, after close scrutiny, I'm quite sure my brain has always lacked something that others seem to have. I've always wondered why someone who is highly intelligent doesn't function at a level that reflects their intelligence while others who appear to be quite dense rise to the top like cream. Sure, the lack of support and guidance early in my life probably didn't help, but others who have been products of dysfunction have overcome great obstacles to become successful and happy. So why haven't I? Am I lazy? Am I simply unmotivated?
Anyone who knows me knows laziness isn't the culprit as reflected in my Wonder Woman status for much of my adult life. It always amused me whenever I heard, "Get Karen to do it. She can do anything!" Yes, Karen can do anything, but be successful and happy. My list of things I've started in life, yet never finished is so long it's mind boggling. That in itself would be a major cause for depression in most people. But unlike most people who have a fear of failure, I find failing to be a relatively easy thing to digest.
For me, it's succeeding that throws me in a tizzy. Maybe it's confusing how someone can be labeled as Wonder Woman, yet feel like a failure. Sure, I can do anything, but I become bored and distracted easily and never feel as if I'm challenged for very long. Everything I've done in life to this point only seems like menial tasks to get by, when I know I'm capable of so much more. Okay, so why didn't I choose something that I felt challenged me? Ahhhhh, there it is! That's where the fear of success rears its ugly head. That's where the face of self-destruction comes into focus.
I've never found that one thing that feels like "home" my niche, that special place where I belong because I've always held myself back from exploring the possibilities by never allowing myself the luxury of completion or success. What an excellent way to punish ones self! And at this point I don't even know anymore why I feel punishment is necessary. The old demons appear to be dead, so is it just a lack of not knowing how to proceed or where to proceed from here? At this point is it habit more than anything else?
I've always felt like I'm treading around in some murky mud puddle under a dark cloud awaiting impending doom, but I learned to build a convincing facade early in life. I became the class clown, the risk-taker, the first to do everything, the organizer, the one who questioned whether the sky is really blue.
I always needed the feeling of being on the edge to feel alive. I needed to push all the boundaries and test all the limits except my own. All sensation I gathered were from external sources and never from within. Now, that I've distanced myself from the edge I feel a void in my life. I'm lost and feel as if I'm slowly spiraling down. The murky mud puddle is becoming increasingly more difficult to navigate. I think living on the edge was how I self-medicated to replace the lack of serotonin–norepinephrine–dopamine I possessed. I think engaging in risky behaviors and unhealthy relationships was my way of keeping the adrenaline pumping. It was my way of feeling normal because I've never had a clue as to what normal really is. Even the bad boys who were initially oh so delicious become predictable and boring after awhile. Now, everything has become predictable and boring and now... once where my demons treaded is a silent overgrown path.
Day 26: A song that makes you want to fall in love
Despite Aerosmith's popularity and success in the 1970s, it wasn't until their comeback in the late-1980s and 1990s when they started winning awards and major recognition. In 1987, Aerosmith won the Soul Train Music Award for Best Rap – Single for the re-mix of "Walk This Way" with Run-D.M.C. In 1990, Aerosmith won their first Grammy award, for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal, and went on to win a total of four such awards (all of them in the 1990s) for "Janie's Got a Gun", "Livin' on the Edge", "Crazy", and "Pink". Aerosmith is second only to U2 in the number of awards won in that category.
In addition, Aerosmith's music videos won numerous awards throughout the 1990s. Aerosmith ranks as the ninth most successful artist (and the third most successful group) of all-time at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs), with ten such awards to date. Aerosmith is also the all-time leader in the categories Best Rock Video (with four such awards) and Viewer's Choice (with three such awards). Aerosmith has also won once each in the categories Video of the Year, Best Group Video, and Best Video from a Film. The videos for which Aerosmith has won VMAs are "Janie's Got a Gun" (2 awards), "The Other Side", "Livin' on the Edge", "Cryin'" (3 awards), "Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)", "Pink", and "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing".
Over the course of their career (primarily 1990 and after), Aerosmith has also collected six American Music Awards, four Billboard Music Awards, two People's Choice Awards, sixteen Boston Music Awards, and numerous other awards and honors. Some of the high accolades Aerosmith have achieved include induction into Hollywood's Rock Walk in 1990, a declaration of "Aerosmith Day" in the state of Massachusetts by then-Governor William Weld on April 13, 1993, induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001, and being honored with the mtvICON award in 2002.
In the fields of technology and video games, Aerosmith has achieved several feats. In 1994, Aerosmith released the song "Head First" on the CompuServe online service, which is considered to be the first full-length commercial product available online. In 2008, Aerosmith became the first artist to have an entire Guitar Hero video game based around them with Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. Guitar Hero: Aerosmith is considered to be the best-selling band-centric video game across both the Guitar Hero and Rock Band platforms.
Aerosmith also holds several chart and album sales feats, including the second highest number of number-one singles on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart for a group with nine, the only number one debut on the Billboard Hot 100 by a rock group with "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing", the second most gold albums by an American group behind Kiss who has 30, the most total certifications (including gold, platinum, and multi-platinum combined) by an American group, and are tied with Van Halen for the most multi-platinum albums by an American group. From the Recording Industry Association of America, Aerosmith has achieved 25 gold, 18 platinum, and 12 multi-platinum album certifications, in addition to one diamond album, four gold singles, and one platinum digital single. Media often refer to Aerosmith, who have sold more than 150 million albums worldwide and 70.2 million in the United States, as the best-selling American rock band.
Aerosmith were honored as MusiCares Person of the Year in 2020.
Day
25: A song you like by an artist no longer living
Janis Lyn Joplin (January 19, 1943 – October 4, 1970) was an American singer and musician. One of the most successful and widely known rock stars of her era, she was noted for her powerful mezzo-soprano vocals and "electric" stage presence.
In 1967, Joplin rose to fame following an appearance at Monterey Pop Festival, where she was the lead singer of the then little-known San Francisco psychedelic rock band Big Brother and the Holding Company. After releasing two albums with the band, she left Big Brother to continue as a solo artist with her own backing groups, first the Kozmic Blues Band and then the Full Tilt Boogie Band. She appeared at the Woodstock festival and on the Festival Express train tour. Five singles by Joplin reached the Billboard Hot 100, including a cover of the Kris Kristofferson song "Me and Bobby McGee", which reached number one in March 1971. Her most popular songs include her cover versions of "Piece of My Heart", "Cry Baby", "Down on Me", "Ball and Chain", "Summertime", and her original song "Mercedes Benz", her final recording.
Joplin died of a heroin overdose in 1970, at the age of 27, after releasing three albums (two with Big Brother and the Holding Company and one solo album). A second solo album, Pearl, was released in January 1971, just over three months after her death. It reached number one on the Billboard charts. She was posthumously inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995. Rolling Stone ranked Joplin number 46 on its 2004 list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time and number 28 on its 2008 list of 100 Greatest Singers of All Time. She remains one of the top-selling musicians in the United States, with Recording Industry Association of America certifications of 18.5 million albums sold.
Day 24: A song by a band you wish were still together
The Beatles' earliest influences include Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Little Richard and Chuck Berry. During the Beatles' co-residency with Little Richard at the Star-Club in Hamburg, from April to May 1962, he advised them on the proper technique for performing his songs. Of Presley, Lennon said, "Nothing really affected me until I heard Elvis. If there hadn't been Elvis, there would not have been the Beatles." Other early influences include Buddy Holly, Eddie Cochran, Roy Orbison and the Everly Brothers.
The Beatles continued to absorb influences long after their initial success, often finding new musical and lyrical avenues by listening to their contemporaries, including Bob Dylan, the Who, Frank Zappa, the Lovin' Spoonful, the Byrds and the Beach Boys, whose 1966 album Pet Sounds amazed and inspired McCartney. Referring to the Beach Boys' creative leader, Martin later stated: "No one made a greater impact on the Beatles than Brian [Wilson]." Ravi Shankar, with whom Harrison studied for six weeks in India in late 1966, had a significant effect on his musical development during the band's later years.
There are few absolutes in life. With the exception of birth, death and taxes everything else falls in a hazy gray area subject to loopholes, pitfalls and mediocrity. There is however one other thing I can say with 100% certainty about my life in general. No one should ever use my life as a model for sobriety. The road I've walked to get here has been an exhausting one. I did everything the Mildred Ratched method instead of doing them in a way that would have been faster, easier and with better results. Never being able to completely surrender has always been a huge problem for me. My inability to learn by other people's mistakes and having to do everything the hard way isn't due to any genetic mule-like tendency. My real problem stems from lack of trust.
When a person is damaged at a young age, they spend their entire life either trying to heal or trying to run away... or both. 