MEDICATION TIME

My first "sleep vice" will be designed for my sadomasochist clientele....a full-length body foam rubber encasement (similar to memory foam pillows and mattresses, but softer...that stuff may mold to your body, but it's not comfortable) lined with rose thorns. A similiar version can be made with a sandpaper lining for those people looking for alittle discomfort and displeasure, but not actual pain. Stay tuned for more creative sleep aids.

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful I'm not a sadomasochist.

SLEEPLESS IN PENSACOLA

I think the whole point to sleep is to awake refreshed and revitalized and ready for the day ahead. When I do sleep it's in a very broken fashion. It seems every time I move, I wake up in pain. I wonder if there's some device to hold a person in one position so they cannot move at all. Duck tape can get expensive! Wait...maybe I need to patent that idea. I'll be really pissed off if in ten years from now, I see an ad on the TV for a "sleep vice" and I didn't create it.

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for the friends who hang in there with me even when I don't deserve their loyalty.

TIME-OUT CONFESSIONS

A loving and very concerned cousin told me that I needed to get a "herring choker." A what?  A downeaster, a lumberjack, a fisherman...a good old Mainiac!  You know he might have a point...I have been in self-imposed "time out" what seems like forever.  Why?  Well, I have impaired judgment when it comes to men.  I like the badboys!  No, I don't want to fix them...I want them to stay just as they are and there lies the problem.  Badboys and relationships don't go together very well.  Nice = boring in my mind!  Okay, I know that thinking is wrong so that's why I'm in "time-out."  Naughty me!  I need time to sort through the error of my ways and fix my thinking regarding men and my preferences.

Gratitude statement: Thank God for time-out because it keeps me out of trouble!

LET THE FUN BEGIN

According to the YoYo Inspector I'm seeing to cure me of my cave-dwelling ways, I should "journal" everyday. Does blogging count as journaling? I can choose my own topic, but at the end of each entry I'm supposed to include at least one "gratitude" statement. Okay...got it! I'm ready to start this journey!

Gratitude statement: I'm mighty grateful I don't have hemorrhoids.

MEDICATION TIME

How do I turn off the "reactions" on each post. Reactions? WTF! What programmer thinks up this willfully dense shit anyway?

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for being smart enough to ask for help when I'm stuck and can't figure something out on my own.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Once a person becomes depressed, do they ever really recover from it?

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful for the time to search for that answer.