KEEPING THE DOGS HAPPY

Spoiled dogs waiting for bones

Saturday morning I was coming back from a "shopping trip" at a local medical cannabis  dispensary (VidaCann) when I took a short cut across town because I wanted to stop at a certain grocery store to buy my spoiled dogs some bones. Publix is the only store here in Pensacola where the butcher packages the discarded bones and puts them in the freezer section. I cut across Michigan Avenue to get to Publix and before I knew it I was right by where I used to live with my ex-husband.

Keep in mind it's been a very long time since I've been married. When I say a very long time, I mean a VERY long time. I've been divorced since 1997. I'm not against marriage. I don't hate my ex-husband. I'm not bitter. I don't hate men. I think holding grudges and harboring resentment only hurts the person who holds that negative stuff inside them. I had to let that stuff go and forgive...not for their sake but for mine. And as for marriage... I found that being alone was better than being with the wrong person. I'm not saying there isn't a right person out there for me. All I'm saying is that to date, I haven't found that person. I'm not actively looking so chances of me finding that person is slim to nil...

Anyway, getting back to my little story. When I drove past where I used to live I had the strangest reaction. I got a knot in the pit of my stomach.  I'm not what I would call a high strung, anxious person, but seeing my old home sure brought out some anxiety or something in me.  All of sudden it was hard to breathe. I felt hot all over. I had a knot in the pit of my stomach and then I felt nauseous. It all passed rather quickly. Almost as quickly as it started. But I kept having a strange feeling like I almost expected to run into my ex-husband at the grocery store or some place else. I didn't and I'm glad I didn't. It just was weird and it rattled me for a moment or two and I usually don't get rattled. By the time I got home I was okay and my dogs were glad to see momma had brought them a special treat.

My Surprise

Several years ago my daughter assembled a book of poetry from various poems my mother had written. Just about every subject was covered except one. She had never written a poem about me, her one and only daughter! When I brought this to her attention, she did what she always does. She started to argue with me about it, but I proved her wrong. The fact of the matter was that she had never written a poem about me. I have to admit it hurt my feelings that my existence didn't inspire her to write something...anything about her ugly duckling daughter. I didn't expect something to rival William Shakespeare. A little Mother Goose would be nice!

Like many elderly people, my mother has a daily routine. She likes to spend her afternoons in her art studio. I call it her cave. One afternoon several months ago upon returning from her cave she placed this piece of paper in my hand:

At 91, I have to admit that she's going strong! Yes, she went through that period I called her "empty pod" or "alien abduction" period and I really doubted she was going to come out of it, but she did. It took a lot of work on my part and it almost put me in a rubber room in the process, but she's back and doing better than ever. Her health is great and her mind is sharp (sharper than mine I have to admit). Maybe what we both need is some medical marijuana and a smile! Now, that's a strange trip I don't know if I'm ready for...smoking dope with my mother just seems a little too weird even for Mildred.

THE MEDICAL MARIJUANA METAMORPHOSIS

Here are some random observations I have made in the past few weeks:

My hand-written notes on a piece of paper towel
because that was the first thing I could grab

1. The combination of taking narcotics long-term and using Victoza (one of the injectable diabetic meds I use) on top of having gastroparesis  (my digestive tract hates me) has rendered me a involuntary prisoner with a wicked case of constipation. You see, alone each of those three components causes digestive problems. Together they scream, WTF! The meds slow my digestive tract down to a crawl and the gastroparesis is just what it sounds like...a paralyzed gastric tract. I had to wave a white flag and surrender!  Now, that I've stopped taking narcotics, my digestive system is much happier and so am I.
2. My new "medicine" makes me friendlier and more talkative. Before, the pain I felt left me without any desire to interact with people and now I'm starting to get my "Mildred" vibe back. Her inner child has arisen from a very long nap (like Rip Van Winkle except Mildred is not a short fat male.)
3. My tastes in what I watch on television has been altered greatly. I've been watching more documentaries and feel a need to soak up knowledge again. My mind is like a very dry sponge.
4. I've gone for such a long time not listening to music and now music soothes my soul. And it sounds terrific! It's horrible how pain has sucked just about all the life from me. It happened so gradually that I didn't even notice how far away from myself I had gotten.
5. My taste in humor is changing. Where I used to watch some generic humor (a sitcom with a comic for the lead role) for mindless entertainment, now I tend to want to be more focused on which comic I watch. If I think someone is funny then I want to see their stand up routine. That's the only way I can assess if they really are funny.
6. Food...OMG! ALL food tastes so incredible. I'd forgotten what being ravenous was like. Now, I need to find something low calorie to munch on. Any suggestions? I could always save money and go in the back yard and graze like a cow. That'd be cool as long as no one tried to milk me.
7. I now have a need to have a notebook to jot down ideas as I think of them, because these days it's gone as soon as I blink my eyes if I don't write it down.
8. My whole thought process feel like it's undergoing a transformation. I went in as a caterpillar and came out a butterfly. This girl is on fire!

   

   Mildred's metamorphosis

9. I'm so easily distracted because I have so many ideas racing to get out at the same time. Being distracted almost makes me dizzy at times. I start saying something and when a natural pause is acceptable, I forget what I was talking about and then go right onto a new topic. It's a seamless transition, but it frustrates me that I get all jumbled up at times.
10. The CBD part of my new "medicine" helps ease my pain/inflammation and the THC gives me a righteous buzz. While my body physically starts to relax, my mind has been flipped on. I've only been "dosing" myself for a few weeks, but I'm already starting to feel less all over pain. What pain I have now has become more condensed and concentrated and usually doesn't radiate outward all over my body like it has in the past. 

WORD OF THE DAY:

*Replenish

*to make something full again, or to bring it back to its previous level by replacing what has been used

HALLELUJAH! I've been replenished...

WHY MILDRED WENT TO POT

Plunder Woman

While I've been MIA (missing in action) lately, I've been working towards cleansing my system of all the gnarly narcotics that have held me prisoner for the past 15 years. Since 2003, I've taken the whole spectrum of painkillers and have to admit nothing works very well these days. Why continue taking something that doesn't give me any relief? Why continue taking something that harms my already compromised liver? Because I've chosen to make what I think is an informed decision, I'm in the process of weaning myself off morphine because cold turkey is a real bitch. Trust me, I've been down that road a time or two and I definitely don't want to visit that rocky path ever again.

Over the last 15 years I've taken every NSAID known to man, plus Tramadol, Lortab, Percocet, Oxycontin, Methadone, Fentanyl and Morphine. You name it and I've taken it. I've used TENS units and even had 2 internal neurostimulators implants that are wired directly into my spine. I've had two separate anterior discectomies with fusions to fuse 4 of my 7 cervical discs. I have to admit not being able to look up or turn my head has been a little challenging at times. And as for the surgeries, they've done little to alleviate my pain. My last neurosurgeon told me that there was nothing else that he could do to help me. He basically told me that I'd have to grin and bear it.

I've also tried exercise, heated pool therapy, regular physical therapy, massages, chiropractic adjustments, heat and ice with no substantial or long term relief from anything I tried. The only things I haven't tried at this point are steroid injections that are injected directly into the site that's causing the pain and acupuncture. As ordered by my endocrinologist, I can't ever do the steroid injections because steroids make my blood sugar skyrocket. And acupuncture?  To be honest, the thought of being a human pin cushion (even though they say no pain is involved) doesn’t exactly excite me, so I think this particular predicament is called being S.O.L. (shit out of luck)

Physically, I've gone from being Wonder Woman to being a lackluster cave-dwelling crone. Mentally, I've learned to suffer in silence. Isolation is a common tool used by many people with serious medical issues and by people who have simply given up and don't want to play the "happy" game any longer. It's easier to be isolated than it is to be around people. That overwhelming urge to put on a happy face has worn me out. It’s difficult to maintain that “everything is just peachy” act for very long and the older I get, the more that desire wanes. That's why I became a hermit. No, that's not entirely true. The combination of severe chronic pain and my lifelong inability to select a significant other who isn't a complete twisted freak-a-zoid asshole are the two major reasons for becoming a troglodyte. The wealthy call it being an eccentric recluse and the poor call it life after the fast lane. I call it how Mildred maintains some semblance of sanity.

Recently I decided to give medical marijuana a whirl. Both my primary care doctor and my pain management doctor gave me their blessing regarding my decision. Florida legalized marijuana for medicinal use in the 2016, but have always steered clear until now due to all the hoop jumping that's involved.  Once I finally made the decision, I carefully followed all the necessary steps dotting all i's and crossing all t's. Unfortunately, I know what a clusterfuck anything pertaining to the government can be. Anything they handle on a local, state or federal level involves too much red tape that only slows the process of forward movement and expands the room for errors to be made every step of the way.

First, I made an appointment to see Dr. Feelgood. Next, I had my medical records from my pain management doctor and my primary care doctor faxed to Dr. Feelgood. This was done to substantiate a medical diagnosis that is on the list of qualifying diseases and conditions. Previous medical records also help Dr. Feelgood to write a personalized prescription/care plan. Next, I kept my appointment (BTW, Dr. Feelgood really knew her stuff.) Once a person sees the doc and her recommendation is submitted along with your Patient ID number, the mandatory application for a Medical Marijuana card from the state with a $75 required fee (everyone has to get their piece of the pot pie) can be submitted online or by snail mail. About 2 weeks later, I received an email me with my card number. Until I receive my actual card, the email with the card number enables me to make purchases.  They say it takes about 4 to 6 weeks to receive the actual card. That's the speed of light for any government agency! I'll believe 4 to 6 weeks once I have my card in my hand in 4 to 6 weeks.

There's two dispensaries where I live and both do home deliveries. I'll most likely use that service in the future, but I wanted to check out the dispensary in person for my first purchase. I like to see how things work and if they run smoothly. It gives me an overall picture of whether or not I'm dealing with a bunch of imbeciles. It helps keep my expectations in the realm of reality. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised by the whole operation at Surterra Wellness right down to the ATM standing all shiny and new inside the dispensary. This feature made a lot of sense since the marijuana business is all cash and carry due to the current Federal laws and banking restrictions.They would have really impressed me if they had a blood plasma center on site so people could sell some blood to buy their weed. That's what I call one stop shopping!


The dispensary was a strange trip...nothing like copping a little weed back in the day from the friendly neighborhood pot dealer! Upon checking in for my first one stop shopping experience, I found out that my approved card number didn't show up in the Florida Stoners-R-Us database when the dispensary tried to access it. So I sat there and called the 800 number into the state registry. Ring! Ring! Ring! I first accessed their automated menu hoping I pushed all the right selections to talk to an actual human being. Of course, there were many callers ahead of me, but the automated recording assured me that the first available representative would help me and thanked me for waiting patiently. I wonder who I'd have to register a complaint with regarding the "on hold" music that played in my ear while I waited. I beg your pardon, but elevator music is not acceptable to listen to for more than 5 seconds and what stoner do you know who listens to that crap?


Fast forward about 45 minutes later and the state informed me that I indeed had been approved and the number emailed to me was correct. Duh! I knew the number was correct. The state knew the number was correct. I wanted to know why the dispensary couldn't access my correct account number. That issue was never answered. "I don't know" didn't seem like an acceptable answer, but I wasn't going to push the issue because I didn't want my correct account number to permanently float around lost in cyberspace. What I did was accept some things are meant to remain a mystery. So now, I'm back at square one. The dispensary needed to be able to access my account via my top secret correct account number. If the dispensary couldn't access my account with the prescription from my pot doc, then I wouldn't be able to make a purchase. Period! Why would I ever expect anything to ever go smoothly from start to finish and not be riddled with all sorts of Murphy's laws? I don't know how, but somehow magically, my card number appeared in the database after my phone call to Florida's Stoners-R-Us registry. Go figure! It must have been a miracle!

Stay tuned for part two of this saga...the purchase.

TO POT OR NOT: THE MEDICAL MARIJUANA DEBATE

When I disclosed my various health issues in THE BEAST WITHIN ME or when I revealed my angst regarding the pain I experience in THE TRUTH IS A VIRUS, I should have taken those opportunities to start a discussion regarding medical marijuana. As they always say..."better late than never!"

Twenty states now have laws making the use of medicinal marijuana legal as long as it's prescribed by a licensed physician. Unfortunately I don't live in any of those states so I can't try it out unless I do it illegally at the present time.  At my age, risky behavior has lost its appeal. Florida and a few other states have medical marijuana amendments on their November 2014 ballots.  Since I reside in Florida, I thought it's time to become better informed.  I've read many articles about all the studies and research done regarding medical marijuana and its uses, but I think I need more than that.  I need the personal touch of having an actual discussion/debate to be able to better weigh its possible benefits.  

I know the opposition still regards marijuana as nothing more than gateway drug and sees it as having no real value to treat any medical condition, but from what I've read lately the majority of the medical community considers medical marijuana as a viable option to treat many health problems. Perhaps, after going down the road of trying various types of narcotic pain killers, having several surgeries and trying alternative methods of pain management (massage therapy, aquatic therapy, internal and external neurostimulators and chiropractors) to help ease my chronic pain and to help improve the quality of my life by making it easier for me to function, I'm more than ready to try something I can benefit from for the long haul! 

Yes, medical marijuana is becoming a hot topic, but I know many people are hesitant to discuss it and whether it should be legal or not, but let's face it, the times they are a changing! For those of you who aren't afraid to speak out, I'd really like to read your opinions on the subject both pro and con.  Do you know anyone who lives in a state where medical marijuana is legal and benefits from its use?  If so, what's the medical condition that it's used to treat?  And if you had one of the many conditions medical marijuana is supposed to help, would you consider using it as a viable treatment rather than taking a man made pharmaceutical with potential harmful side effects or subjecting yourself to repeated surgeries that don't help?  Is medical marijuana just a stoner's ultimate pipe dream or should I look into this treatment if it becomes legal?

PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT

The 36th annual National NORML Conference was held on Friday, October 12 and Saturday, October 13 in Universal City, California. This video features Irv Rosenfeld explaining why the government grows marijuana for him:

Recently, I watched Senator Christopher Dodd speak out in favor of decriminalizing marijuana. Perhaps, this wasn’t the smartest political move he could have made, but I felt it took a certain amount of courage to come forward and address an issue many feel is political suicide to tackle. I know this topic is far from being a critical issue, but it does however effect the lives of many Americans from both a legal and moral standpoint.

What better place to kick around some candid discussion than right here on the internet? Does anyone care to step up to the "podium" like Senator Dodd did and share their views on this issue? Should marijuana be decrimalized? Is it really the "gateway" drug it’s always been accused of being? Does it have any actual medicinal value? Should it eventually be legalized and taxed by the government like tobacco and alcohol? Finally, would you vote for someone who was in favor of the decriminalization and eventual legalization of marijuana? Do you know what the current laws of your state are regarding this issue? If not, click here and then let’s hear from you.