DAY 6 - 30 SONGS IN 30 DAYS

Let's face it, there's an endless amount of dance music floating around to help us trip the light fandango, but there's only one Rocky Horror Picture Show (thank goodness...lol) 

Day 6: A song that makes you want to dance

*The Rocky Horror Picture Show is considered to be the longest-running release in film history. It benefited from a 20th Century Fox policy that made archival films available to theatres at any time. Having never been pulled by 20th Century Fox from its original 1975 release, it continues to play in cinemas. After The Walt Disney Company acquired 20th Century Fox in 2019 and began withdrawing archival Fox movies from theatres to be placed into the Disney Vault, the company made an exception in the case of The Rocky Horror Picture Show to allow the traditional midnight screenings to continue.

Annual Rocky Horror conventions are held in varying locations, lasting days. Tucson, Arizona has been host a number of times, including 1999 with "El Fishnet Fiesta", and "Queens of the Desert" held in 2006.Vera Dika wrote that, to the fans, Rocky Horror is ritualistic and comparable to a religious event, with a compulsive, repeated cycle of going home and coming back to see the film each weekend. The audience call-backs are similar to responses in church during a mass. Many theatre troupes exist across the United States that produce shadow-cast performances where the actors play each part in the film in full costume, with props, as the movie plays on the big screen in a movie theatre. O'Brien's Orchestra, formerly known as the Queerios (based in Austin, Texas), is the longest running shadow-cast in Texas.

* (borrowed from Wikipedia)

 

ADDING INSULT TO INJURY

We all do stupid things at times, but when I do something stupid, I always take it to a new level. My stupidity is almost like an art form...a thing of beauty to be remembered and talked about for decades. My newest act of stupidity started 3 days ago and I'm still shaking my head in amazement each time I think about it. Why bother doing that? Well, in part it has to do with being an "emotional cutter" plus I freely admit I'm a glutton for punishment! Seriously, just ask anyone who knows me! Load it on, baby! I can handle anything!

My colonoscopy and upper endoscopy was scheduled for 11:40am on Thursday, March 28th with a 10:40am check-in. Monday, I made sure I had all the necessary implements of torture to cleanse my system of all the bubblegum I swallowed back in 8th grade:

• a package of Dulcolax Tablets
• a 8.3 ounce bottle of Miralax
• two 32 ounce bottles of Gatorade
• all the suggested "clear" liquids to consume during the day before my colonoscopy

I chose the Miralax prep because the prep I used for my two previous colonoscopies were almost unbearable to drink. As we used to say in the days of my youth, it was enough to gag a maggot. They say to refrigerate the prep so it's easier to drink. Ha! If it tastes that bad cold, I can only imagine what it tastes like at room temperature. That'll bring tears to your eyes...and not in a joyful way!

On the day of my prep, I did everything as instructed:

•  I consumed NO food all day
•  I forced clear liquids only
•  At 12 noon, I took 4 Dulcolax tablets and then I mixed the whole bottle of Miralax with the Gatorade, then placed it in the refrigerator to chill
• At 6pm I drank one 8ounce glass of the Miralax/Gatorade mixture and continued to drink 8 ounces every 15 minutes until the entire 64 ounces were gone.
• And then I waited patiently and gave everyone in the house instructions to not dillydally in the downstairs bathroom or else they'd clean up the mess.

By 7:30pm a little ahead of schedule, I had consumed all the mixture. I had never drank Gatorade before, so I didn't know what to expect, but I have to admit it wasn't awful. The taste reminded me of what a salty/sweet, watered-down, orange-flavored Kool-aid might taste like. About an hour after I had finished, I felt a little nauseous, but that quickly passed, but nothing else passed at that time unfortunately.

8 o'clock came and went. 9 o'clock came and went. 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock came and went. By 1am, I was starting to get really tired. When 2am came, I was starting to get concerned. Of course, I googled how long it takes a Miralax colonoscopy prep to start working. All that did was make me more anxious. From what I read, the concoction starts working fairly fast. Yes, I have gastroparesis and my digestive system works at a crawl, but this prep was all liquid so there wasn't anything to digest. It should have been a straight shot from end to end. What was the delay?

At about 2:15am, my gut started rumbling so loud that it woke up the dogs. They looked startled as I scurried off to the bathroom. For the next hour, I ran to the bathroom every few minutes. By 3:30am, my gut felt a little better, so I laid down. I felt really fatigued and before I knew it I had fallen sound asleep. 

At about 4am, my sound sleep was interrupted by a gurgling brook. When I awoke, I was a little disoriented at first. I felt wet and there was a foul stench I couldn't quite identify. At first, I thought one of my dogs had had an accident, but as I became fully awake I realized what had happened. I laid there for a moment and rolled my eyes and shook my head! The wet sensation I felt was a gurgling fecal eruption that had happened while I slumbered. Oh yes! While I snoozed, my bowels oozed. I couldn't blame that on the dogs. I laid there trying to figure out how I was going to roll over and get out of bed without creating a bigger mess than there already was.

As I sat up, my gurgling brook started oozing down my legs. I quickly tried to stop it from reaching the floor by tightening the bottoms of my pajamas legs to hold the mess in. It had a tourniquet effect and prevented me from leaving a trail all the way to the bathroom. As I reached the bathroom walking slowly and quite bow-legged, I decided that I didn't like my black capri-length pajamas enough to salvage them. After I took a shower, I discarded my badly soiled pjs in a lavender-scented garbage bag. Ha! [Note to self: write to garbage bag company and tell them they need a stronger scent] I actually managed to tie a neat bow on top of the garbage bag with its bright red plastic ties. After all, it was like a gift going to the local landfill. If I had thought about it, I would have marked the white bag as being "Hazardous Waste" or "WARNING! OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!" Between being exhausted and trying to be as quiet as possible, my twisted sense of humor failed me. 

Before I left my house just after 10am to meet my 10:40am check-in time, I had one more eruption followed by another shower. I was beginning to wonder how they were ever going to give me a colonoscopy since I was nowhere near being cleaned out. All sorts of images flashed through my head and none of them were pleasant, yet all of them were quite comical. I could actually envision the words "prolific shitter" being documented in my medical records as a warning/reminder to the future medical staff members.

 

Because anyone getting a colonoscopy/endoscopy requires a person 18 years or older to accompany them to the facility and be their designated driver after the procedure, I brought my youngest son, Matthew with me. As I told him the events of my colonoscopy prep, the thought of his mother falling asleep and losing control of her bowels filled him with a sense that something was right with the world after all.

The story gets really intense here, so pay attention. When we entered the facility to check-in, I was told that my appointment was the next day. I just stood there speechless staring at the woman behind the counter. Somehow I had got my days mixed up and went through the prep for nothing. Does that qualify me as being a dumbass? I wonder how many people have done that exact same thing. 

At this point, my options were to wait around until after 5pm and let the other doctor do my procedures since my doctor wasn't on site that day, but I was told that the other doctor was already an hour and a half behind and it wasn't even 11am. They were even nice enough to call around to see if my doctor was at one of the other facilities, but alas, he was in the office all day and had no procedures scheduled. My other options were to continue to push clear liquids all day and to come back the next day to do my scheduled procedure or to reschedule my appointment. And the winner is...I chose to reschedule because I'm diabetic and felt it wasn't smart to go for two day without food. 

Now, to add insult to injury, when I left The Endoscopy Center I was famished so I had my son stop at one of my favorite restaurants for lunch...a Mexican place. I ordered fajitas. They were savagely devoured like I hadn't eaten in a month. I followed that by having an order of Nachos Bellgrande, two beef MexiMelts and two soft beef tacos from Taco Hell (Taco Bell) the very next day because nothing says glutton for punishment quite like eating food from Taco Hell. My already compromised digestive system was screaming, "WTF are you doing?" Yesterday afternoon, I finally completed my clean out by taking Imodium to quiet my bowels. They weren't just singing! They had gotten to the fever pitch of a heavy metal band. My intestines felt like they were in a crowded mosh pit with no way out. 

Things are back to normal now and my next appointment is scheduled for May 2nd. The moral to this story is DO NOT fall asleep after doing a colonoscopy prep and always know what day of the week it is.

*reposted and edited from March 19, 2019

PARALYSIS

One never realizes how far they have come in their

own journey of grief until they look back upon it. I just

found this poem I wrote about my mother dated March 14, 2021.

Paralysis

While spring has sprung,

the memory of death is all around me.

My nostrils welcome the sweet aroma of the springtime air

while it hides the putrid stench of decay and loss

with its perfume, a beguiling mask, a welcome escape.

The birds sing while I weep

Announcing the rebirth, a new beginning...a hunger for life

After such an unceremonious ending

My heart is broken.

Will this sadness dissipate or

Do I also just slip away into the night

Alone, lost and fearing the cold hand of death?

by Mildred Ratched aka Red Kitten >^.^< 

That's enough for today...I think I may go paint a picture!

DAY 5 - 30 SONGS IN 30 DAYS

 Day 5: A song that needs to be played loud

With so many great songs to choose from I decided to pay homage to Jim Morrison and The Doors this morning. Set your groove dials back a few decades and rock out to this one with the volume pumped up...

*The Doors began with a chance meeting between acquaintances Jim Morrison and Ray Manzarek on Venice Beach in July 1965. They recognized one another from when they had both attended the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television. Morrison told Manzarek he had been writing songs. As Morrison would later relate to Jerry Hopkins in Rolling Stone, "Those first five or six songs I wrote, I was just taking notes at a fantastic rock concert that was going on inside my head. And once I'd written the songs, I had to sing them." With Manzarek's encouragement, Morrison sang the opening words of "Moonlight Drive": "Let's swim to the moon, let's climb through the tide, penetrate the evening that the city sleeps to hide." Manzarek was inspired, thinking of all the music he could play to accompany these "cool and spooky" lyrics.

Manzarek was then in a band called Rick & the Ravens with his brothers Rick and Jim, while drummer John Densmore was playing with the Psychedelic Rangers and knew Manzarek from meditation classes. Densmore joined the group later in August 1965. Together, they combined varied musical backgrounds, from jazz, rock, blues, and folk music idioms. The five, along with bass player Patty Sullivan, and now christened the Doors, recorded a six-song demo on September 2, 1965, at World Pacific Studios in Los Angeles. The band took their name from the title of Aldous Huxley's book The Doors of Perception, itself derived from a line in William Blake's The Marriage of Heaven and Hell: "If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite." In late 1965, after Manzarek's two brothers left, guitarist Robby Krieger joined.

From February to May 1966, the group had a residency at the "rundown" and "sleazy" Los Angeles club London Fog, appearing on the bill with "Rhonda Lane Exotic Dancer". The experience gave Morrison confidence to perform in front of a live audience, and the band as a whole to develop and, in some cases, lengthen their songs and work "The End" and "Light My Fire" into the pieces that would appear on their debut album. Manzarek later said that at the London Fog the band "became this collective entity, this unit of oneness ... that is where the magic began to happen." The group soon graduated to the more esteemed Whisky a Go Go, where they were the house band (starting from May 1966), supporting acts, including Van Morrison's group Them. On their last night together the two bands joined up for "In the Midnight Hour" and a twenty-minute jam session of "Gloria".

On August 10, 1966, they were spotted by Elektra Records president Jac Holzman, who was present at the recommendation of Love singer Arthur Lee, whose group was with Elektra Records. After Holzman and producer Paul A. Rothchild saw two sets of the band playing at the Whisky a Go Go, they signed them to the Elektra Records label on August 18 — the start of a long and successful partnership with Rothchild and sound engineer Bruce Botnick. The Doors were fired from the Whisky on August 21, 1966, when Morrison added an explicit retelling and profanity-laden version of the Greek myth of Oedipus during "The End".

The Doors were the first American band to accumulate eight consecutive gold LPs. According to the RIAA, they have sold 34 million albums in the United States and over 100 million records worldwide, making them one of the best-selling bands of all time. The Doors have been listed as one of the greatest artists of all time by magazines including Rolling Stone, which ranked them 41st on its list of the "100 Greatest Artists of All Time." In 1993, they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

*borrowed from Wikipedia 

PENGUINS

 I hadn't painted anything in quite awhile...

WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS NOW?

[This whole post goes hand in hand with today's song! The first part of this post is taken from a post written in 2006 where I'm discussing an ongoing game of cat and mouse played between The Wizzard and me that spans from 2004 to 2018. The end of the post I wrote this morning where as I have to admit that cat and mouse game never stopped until The Wizzard as I nicknamed him because he was such a great sailor took his last breath. He did his first solo sail from Rhode Island to Bermuda when he was 15. By the way, I intentionly spelled Wizzard with two z's.] 

At present, I am engaged in a rather odd ongoing rather lengthy game of cat and mouse. I'm usually up for anything challenging, risky and a bit unconventional. As a participant, I'm always confident of the outcome, yet in this case I haven't figured out who's the cat, who's the mouse and what the stakes are for playing this game. I do, however, know all things come with some sort of a pricetag, but this pricetag seems so elusive. Win or lose, I know my investment (perseverance, honesty and unconditional love) has not gone unnoticed and on some level are qualities that have kept me in this game. My mind reflects on the serenity prayer remembering the difference between the things I can and can not change, but I choose to change nothing and remain steadfast until the end. I'll roll the dice and see what happens.... I fear the extremes, yet crave them like a drug. As this subtle, unrehearsed, spontaneous dance continues, the issue of options seems like a worthy topic to hold my focus for awhile...What are my options? I'm told to make my own options and eventually I will. Eventually, when all is said and done, things will have happened just as they were supposed to happen.

Out of the blue, the conversation changes from idle chitchat about basically nothing to let's read between the lines and see who can be more stubborn.The Wizzard or Red Kitten?

Wizzard: What would you do with me?
Red Kitten: Huh?
Wizzard: I said, "What would you do with me?"
Red Kitten: Yes, I saw that
Wizzard: And?
Red Kitten: And if I have to do something with you, what are my options and I'll pick one...maybe two things.
Wizzard: Make your own options.
Red Kitten: Yeah right!
Wizzard: I asked, "What would you do with me?"
Wizzard: You get to name the options, what are ya skeered?
Red Kitten: You know nothing scares me.
Wizzard: So?
Wizzard: Afraid of laying it on the line?
Red Kitten: Okay...I'd pick a ride on your bike and a few laughs.
Wizzard: Sounds like a good time.
Red Kitten: I think you know me better than that...like I said, nothing scares me.
Red Kitten: Are you afraid to lay it on the line?
Wizzard: But that sounds like a good time, low risk.
Red Kitten: It sounds like a male thing to me.
Red Kitten: lol

This is where the Wizzard retreats until next time and although we maintained a lasting friendship he never was able to tell me what he wanted from me. Unfortunately, it became a stalmate because neither one of us would budge. Too many things had happened between us for his simple apologies to fix the problems or for his amazing charm to gloss over the pain I felt. He had crushed my ego and made me question my self-worth.

The damage had been done and there was no walking that back. My heart would never trust him again and as it seems many years later my heart hasn't been able to trust anyone since. We remained friends, but we never were lovers again. The Wizzard moved from Texas to North Carolina and wanted me to join him there, but I couldn't...I wouldn't. I wouldn't allow him back inside my head and my heart like that again.

The Wizzard died in 2018 and I never saw him before he died so we could say our good byes.  

I did however find out what the pricetag for this cat and mouse game we played with each other was...it was my heart!

What are my options now? It's to move on and stop beating myself up. It's to mend my self-worth in whatever way I can. What Tom did was cruel, but it's been just as cruel of me to have bought into it all this time. I know who I am. Yes, I have flaws and impefections. We all have flaws! Someone who is going to love me, will love the whole package, flaws and all. That person won't make me feel like less of a person for not being perfect.