30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-SEVEN

Truth #27: The saying goes it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all but I don't know if that's true because like a junkie once one tastes the sweet flavor of love, one always craves it again. Some spend their entire lives being with all the wrong people in pursuit of that one perfect, everlasting love. I liken that to continually crashing into a rock wall. It hurts and you never reach the destination you set out to reach. Long ago I found that being alone is better than being with the wrong person and it's also so much easier. There is no cure, quick fix or replacement for love. I think at this stage of my life when it comes to loyalty and companionship, I found the solution that's right for me. Having pets hasn't taken away my need for love, but they have filled a certain void.

HO! HO! HO!

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-SIX

Truth #26: The house I grew up in was built in the early 1830's. The fact of the matter is that houses aren't built like that anymore. Cheaper materials are used and things just don't last as long these days. I'm sure you've noticed this about just everything you buy now!  Also, modern architecture is so sterile and without any real character. It seems to be all about geometric shapes. Where there was once detail and craftsmanship now there are sharp, lackluster angles and curves meant to spark your imagination. Let's compare a few buildings of the past with those of the present and see which ones rank higher on the list of those we prefer.

The Present

The Past

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-FIVE

Truth #25: Delayed gratification builds character. I have to laugh at this one because I have drummed this concept into my children's heads from the time they were very little. Their response was always the same and it still is.  They always told me they must have lots of character...and they do! Growing up they weren't the kids throwing tantrums in the grocery store because they couldn't have candy or something else they wanted. Before we ever went inside the store we got it straight what they could or couldn't have so there wasn't any discussion at the check out line. Don't get me wrong! My children didn't want for much. They had all the newest gadgets, games and toys. Sometimes they had to wait for them, but that didn't hurt them to wait for something. It taught them to have patience and understanding that money doesn't grow on trees. I was a single mother for much of their growing up years, so this meant I had to creatively budget money. Toys, etc. took a lower priority over other things on the list of needs. I think they grew up understanding and not resenting the fact that waiting for something didn't mean no. All it meant was that they were going to have to wait a little longer to have the things they wanted. Their radiant smiles when they got whatever it was that they wanted always was more thanks than I ever needed and was always reward enough for me for giving up something I wanted so they could be happy.  

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-FOUR

Truth #24: I found a few quotes about depression I found fitting especially for this time of year since so many people seem to struggle with depression and anxiety during the holiday season. If you know anyone who battles these demons, please be mindful of them and reach out to that person. You may be that person's saving grace! 

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating to socialize. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything, then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once, then feeling paralyzingly numb. 

A human being can survive almost anything as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness.

People think depression is sadness. That it’s crying and dressing in black, but people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. It’s being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.

You don’t understand depression until you can’t stand your own presence in an empty room.

If you feel everything intensely, ultimately, you feel nothing at all.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. 

Depression is like a heavy blanket. It covers all of me, and it’s hard to get up. But there’s comfort in it too. I know who I am when I’m under it. 

I wanted to talk about it. Damn it. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to shout about it. But all I could do was whisper, “I’m fine.”

Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart. 

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.

It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it’s the smile we fake. 

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless, and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

Are you struggling?

If you’re having a hard time, know that there are people out there who care! Reach out to a friend, family member, or seek out a mental health professional.

If you’re in crisis, here are a few resources to help:

If you live in the United States, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800- 273-TALK (800-273-8255). They have trained counselors available 24/7. Stop a Suicide Today is another helpful resource.

Befrienders Worldwide and the International Association for Suicide Prevention are two organizations that provide contact information for crisis centers outside of the United States.

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-THREE

Truth #23: One of the most destructive forces known to man is gossip. Children these days use it to crucify one another on social media and everywhere you see adults engaging in gossip when all they're doing is spreading vicious lies about another human being. I suppose in order to feel superior one must rake someone else over the coals in attempt to destroy their reputation. You probably needn't look any further than after church on Sunday when women start talking about what one another have worn to church. Yes, women are catty devils, but men gossip also! 

When I was young being the black sheep of the family made me the prime target of gossip. I developed thick skin at an early age and whenever I caught wind of any gossip related to me going around, I would add to the story making it much juicier than what the story already was. Then I would send it out for another go around. I know most young people have tender feelings and gossip crushes them, but I didn't really care what people said about me.  I found it amusing that they had nothing better to do with their time than to gossip about me. Some teens even succumb to bullies by committing suicide because they can't handle the pressure of the gossip and lies. It's sad that people don't stop and think about what they're doing to other people by spreading gossip. Gossip can cause real pain and devastation in a person's life.

When I was a kid we used to play a game called Telegraph. We'd all sit in a line and the first person would whisper something in the second person's ear only once. Then each person would whisper what they heard to the next person passing it down the line. The last person would have to say what they heard out loud. Nine times out of ten that last person would never say out loud the same thing the first person whispered. The same thing happens with gossip. It gets stretched and distorted along the way the more it gets passed around. Be careful with participating in gossip because you're only hurting another human being and it may come back to bite you someday.