30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY FIFTEEN

Truth #15: One of the most frustrating things in life is trying to be someone you aren't. Take someone who desperately wants to live what they perceive to be as a normal life, but they are completely miserable in doing so because that person needs a little spice, a little wild hair every now and then to feel what's normal for them, but to fit in they go against what their core is telling them to be. My mother always told me "to thine ownself be true" but how far should one take that? I'm not talking about let's all go out and swing from the trees, become serial killers or live out all our wildest fantasies, but what if someone struggles with living a lifestyle that's not meant for them to live. Life is too short to live it being void of any happiness, any satisfaction, any fulfillment. Shouldn't we all find our own path? Whatever that path is? If the beat we hear is a different one, then I think we owe it to ourselves to follow it to see where it will lead us. If that path is down some rabbit hole, then perhaps we should change our name to Alice and just enjoy the adventure.

OVER THE RAINBOW

BootsandBraids stated in a comment yesterday that I was brave, but while I may have spent my whole life being fearless I'm also foolish to cast caution to the wind as many times as I have. I'm lucky nothing bad has ever happened to me in any of these lapses of judgment on my part. I need to think before I act in the future. So for what it's worth I want to thank you for helping me define and clarify my actions.

The other night while chatting with a friend I had an amazing lightbulb moment. Suddenly everything became crystal clear, but in doing so it didn't make me feel better it made me feel empty. You see, I was told to trust my instincts, but to that I replied trusting my instinsts was the fastest route to OZ there is. Are my instincts really that bad? That flawed? I guess what I meant by that is with me you get a guaranteed adventure and who doesn't want an adventure? Adventures are full of fun and fantasy! It made me really sad because that's all there is...I'm just a bunch of adventures and nothing more. I'm Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds!

I want to be more than just Dorothy following the Yellow Brick Road or to be more than just Alice in Wonderland. I don't want to be just someone's adventure. Yes, adventures are great and we remember them always, but they end. The conclusions live on forever but here I am alone. I want the adventures to end or I want to find another adventurer...the male version of me. Is there one? Geez! I've been searching a very long time and that unicorn is an elusive creature. The next time I write I'll fill you in on what I've encountered to date.