MY SQUEAKY WHEEL

My mother always told me that the squeaky wheel gets oiled. I tested her theory recently to see if my wheel would get lubed sufficiently. After all, we all know that squeak can be pretty annoying at times...

Throughout her golden years, my mother has always written poems...hundreds and hundreds of them. You name the subject and I'm sure she wrote something about it. Several years ago, my daughter put together a book of my mother's poetry. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mother and I'm glad the aliens brought her back (discussed in earlier posts), but sometimes I feel like her focus is on everyone and everything, but me. Several years ago I read through ALL her poems...not one was about me. I could have let that slide, but she screwed up by writing poems about my brothers. Yes, I can be petty when I feel it's needed.

I occasionally print out things I write and let her read them. When she suggested that I post one of her poems on my blog, I jumped at the opportunity to be petty. I told her I would, but nothing she's ever written was about me. Do you hear my squeaky wheel turning? It really needs some oil! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!! Of course, she disagreed with me and said she had, but I told her I've read all her poetry and never came across anything about me. I knew her next step would be to go out in her art studio and go through everything she's ever written just to prove me wrong.

Yesterday afternoon, she handed me a poem hot off the presses. Keep in mind, this poem was hand-written by a 90 year old. My pettiness was quickly replaced by feeling flattered and impressed when I read the poem she had just written. I'm always trying to get her to use her mind to figure out things like simple math. BUT my mother is stubborn and bristles up whenever I challenge her or want her to do something that'll keep the cobwebs out of her head. Most of the time she fails to see that my attempts are not for my own sake, but for hers. Naturally, when she presented me with the poem, I thanked her and praised her for it. Most likely, I'll frame it and hang it in my bedroom on "my wall of shame."

Posted are the poem she wrote and also a painting she did of me about 20 years ago with my baby, Chewy. SQUEAK! SQUEAK!! Don't you think she should do a more recent portrait of me?

UNDERNEATH WE ARE ALL THE SAME

They say that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. How about we don't judge a book without reading it first? Forget what it looks like or what you may have heard about it and just read the damn thing. Critique it afterward. If you discover it's not your cup of tea, then regift it to someone else and let them enjoy it. Always remember one man's trash really is another man's treasure! What goes for books, goes for people and relationships also. A wise man (my nephew, aka Pauly Glasses) once said, "We all bleed red, we all live, love, and learn. The little differences do not matter!" The exception to that is when someone tries to force those little differences down your throat. Acceptance is ours to give, but true acceptance is not forced. It occurs naturally. It's given freely from the heart. Let's face it, we all have preferences, but don't base your preferences/opinions on some preconceived notions. Learn what really speaks to you and then go one step further. Learn why something speaks to you. Form your preferences and opinions based on YOUR life experiences and not based on what some hate-filled, narrow-minded bandwagon dictates.

A Bohemian Style Revival

What comes to your mind when someone brings up Freddie Mercury? The first thing that comes to my mind is that I share a birthday with Freddie and since the mid 1970's, I always eat one piece of birthday cake for me and one piece for him. When I think of Freddie, a quote from The Who's lead singer says it best. Roger Daltrey called Mercury "the best virtuoso rock 'n' roll singer of all time. He could sing anything in any style. He could change his style from line to line and God, that's an art. And he was brilliant at it."

When I first discovered that a movie about Mercury's life was made and being released this fall, I immediately wondered who would play the part of Freddie. Who could play the part? When faced with portraying a legend, any legend how does a person prepare to undertake such an enormous endeavor?
My original thought was that Adam Lambert would have been a logical choice for the Freddie Mercury role, but apparently I wasn't consulted before the auditions began. I'm sorry, Adam! No one ever listens to me.

Although Rami Malek has been working as an actor since 2004, I never actually "noticed" him until he played the lead role in the television series, Mr. Robot. Now, portraying the legendary Freddie Mercury (Farrokh Bulsara) in the film, Bohemian Rhapsody, Malek is challenged to resurrect Mercury on the big screen. I hope the spirit of Freddie fills every pore in Malek's body and what we witness is not a mere portrayal of a dead superstar, but a true rebirth of someone who may be gone but was never forgotten.

One source claims, "Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury is the gift that Queen fans deserve." Being a true hermit limits my social outings, but I think Miss Troglodyte USA, will put on her glad pants and venture out to see this movie instead of waiting for it to hit Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime.


Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me...

My Mona Lisa

This is a painting I did a few years ago and gave to a dear friend (Lisa) who I’ve known just about all my life or at least as far back as I can remember. As an adult, she worked in the mental health field and my painting had a home on the wall in her office. We used to chuckle at her choice of professions because she had plenty of experience dealing with all the “case studies” from our old neighborhood as she grew up.

I think what surprised me most and touched my heart was her way of saying thank you. As a thank you she surprised me by sending me a bunch of art supplies. Now, that’s the kind of thoughtful friends to have. The figurines in the bottom of the picture were my muses who guided my hands and my thought processes during this endeavor.  Now, put your thinking caps on! Who can name my 3 muses?

CAN YOU MATCH MY CRAZY?

It all begins with Mildred seeing a meme her friend, Joyce posted on Facebook.



Mildred: I’m up for that ride!

Mildred: Let’s just say it’s been awhile since we did anything that could be considered a bad
decision...together. Buckle your seatbelts I think we’re in for a roller coaster of a ride.

Joyce: I'm ready when you are

Mildred: We can start by playing a little game called “Can You Match My Crazy?”

Joyce: I guess I can't go then..ha ha ha

Mildred: I think I smell bullshit. Should I go get my wading boots?

Mildred: Hey I have a question. How come all my more memorable moments aren’t of playing sports and joining clubs and being an honor roll student and having dance lessons and going to proms and trips to the spa...did they even have spas back in the Stone Age? When I remember people it always is in reference to getting in trouble with that person and doing cool shit while we were baked. Do you remember what a zilch is? I wonder if the kids today do stuff like making a zilch. Hmmmmm food for thought and speaking of food, does McDonald’s deliver?

Joyce: I can see us at dance lessons now...ya

Mildred: We would have been wicked cunnin’ in a tutu. Hey, do ballerinas smoke weed?

Joyce: lol

FYI [for those of you who aren’t familiar with how Maineiacs [native Mainers] talk, wicked cunnin’ can be defined as “stunningly special or cute”

Mildred: Speaking of ballerinas...hold on and I’ll show you my cousin’s daughter



Mildred: Now, I know if I could have done that I would have had a better boyfriend when I was a teenager! Oh man, that was harsh lol

Mildred: It’s nice to know that someone in my family can do this, but I know for certain that doing this would have disqualified me from playing Can You Match My Crazy? And that would have been a shame since I was really good at it.

The Gangsta Bee 

Mildred: Now I’ll bid you adieu and I'll go pester someone else. Love you!

Joyce: Mildred, love you too you crazy girl.

Mildred: I think I need to compose another blog post like the Gangsta Bees🐝 and feature this so my future descendants can get a feel for who I am. My way of saying, “ha ha ha, you come from the same gene pool.” Now adieu, adieu...I’m off to go learn how to dance.

THE MEDICAL MARIJUANA METAMORPHOSIS

Here are some random observations I have made in the past few weeks:

My hand-written notes on a piece of paper towel
because that was the first thing I could grab

1. The combination of taking narcotics long-term and using Victoza (one of the injectable diabetic meds I use) on top of having gastroparesis  (my digestive tract hates me) has rendered me a involuntary prisoner with a wicked case of constipation. You see, alone each of those three components causes digestive problems. Together they scream, WTF! The meds slow my digestive tract down to a crawl and the gastroparesis is just what it sounds like...a paralyzed gastric tract. I had to wave a white flag and surrender!  Now, that I've stopped taking narcotics, my digestive system is much happier and so am I.
2. My new "medicine" makes me friendlier and more talkative. Before, the pain I felt left me without any desire to interact with people and now I'm starting to get my "Mildred" vibe back. Her inner child has arisen from a very long nap (like Rip Van Winkle except Mildred is not a short fat male.)
3. My tastes in what I watch on television has been altered greatly. I've been watching more documentaries and feel a need to soak up knowledge again. My mind is like a very dry sponge.
4. I've gone for such a long time not listening to music and now music soothes my soul. And it sounds terrific! It's horrible how pain has sucked just about all the life from me. It happened so gradually that I didn't even notice how far away from myself I had gotten.
5. My taste in humor is changing. Where I used to watch some generic humor (a sitcom with a comic for the lead role) for mindless entertainment, now I tend to want to be more focused on which comic I watch. If I think someone is funny then I want to see their stand up routine. That's the only way I can assess if they really are funny.
6. Food...OMG! ALL food tastes so incredible. I'd forgotten what being ravenous was like. Now, I need to find something low calorie to munch on. Any suggestions? I could always save money and go in the back yard and graze like a cow. That'd be cool as long as no one tried to milk me.
7. I now have a need to have a notebook to jot down ideas as I think of them, because these days it's gone as soon as I blink my eyes if I don't write it down.
8. My whole thought process feel like it's undergoing a transformation. I went in as a caterpillar and came out a butterfly. This girl is on fire!

   

   Mildred's metamorphosis

9. I'm so easily distracted because I have so many ideas racing to get out at the same time. Being distracted almost makes me dizzy at times. I start saying something and when a natural pause is acceptable, I forget what I was talking about and then go right onto a new topic. It's a seamless transition, but it frustrates me that I get all jumbled up at times.
10. The CBD part of my new "medicine" helps ease my pain/inflammation and the THC gives me a righteous buzz. While my body physically starts to relax, my mind has been flipped on. I've only been "dosing" myself for a few weeks, but I'm already starting to feel less all over pain. What pain I have now has become more condensed and concentrated and usually doesn't radiate outward all over my body like it has in the past. 

WORD OF THE DAY:

*Replenish

*to make something full again, or to bring it back to its previous level by replacing what has been used

HALLELUJAH! I've been replenished...