Let Us Whip Your Property Into Shape

Okay, so I can't really complain about my company car after driving around for I don't know for how long with a bumper sticker saying: STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES BUT WHIPS AND CHAINS EXCITE ME on the back of my car.  Before you get all rattled and wonder why I would put something like that on my car...I didn't!!!This happened to me years ago as what I'm assuming was supposed be a practical joke when I managed a motel on the beach. Someone pulled me aside one day and let me know I might want to go check out the back of my car. I thought immediately that someone had backed into my car so I went running out of the office in a panic only to find that friggin' bumper sticker larger than life displayed across the back of my car. And do you think I could get anyone to own up to doing it? To this day, I'm still waiting for the coward to come forward. 

Oh by the way, the company car thing is just a joke.  Marquis de Sod! OMG! What a marketing genius! I would send my employees out on jobs dressed in whips and chains just for effect and you know people would LOVE it.

Like A Fart In Church

Well, that last post was as popular as a fart in church, so in its honor let me follow it up with a post I'm sure that will be as equally as popular. I want to follow up with my response to Kathy.  If anyone bothered to hurt their eyes by reading through that last post, they can be a true glutton for punishment by reading this one also.  If you're scratching your head and wondering if I've gone completely crazy...fear not! I'm not there! Not quite yet! The point of the last blog post was to illustrate just how different things are these days around here in the blogosphere. The early days could be dastardly! It was brutal out there. I'm even more peaceful. I haven't had my feathers ruffled for awhile and that isn't an invitation or a challenge because I do like to exist in peace and harmony. I was simply observing how most people have settled into their groove and just do their own thing these days.

So where were we? Oh yeah!

In 2005, I had reached a precipice...

A strange thing happened to me on my way to blogging retirement. I found some inspiration! Was it in music like Psychedelic Pariah suggested? No, but thank you Pariah for not taking the opportunity to kick me when I was down and for giving me some hope that inspiration does still exist. Late last night when I was deeply entrenched in what most likely amounts to self-pity, I made an amazing discovery. I was inspired by unadulterated anger. There’s nothing like getting a little pissed off to perk a person up!

Back when we ("The Clique," Spaces dysfunctional family) were using weekends to do silly little things like show off our legs (gams and stems, as we so fondly called them) to each other, I created National Confession Weekend (NCW.)  My confession was simply that I had a pole in my living room. NCW went over well and all who chose to participate had fun with it. However, one visitor to my site that weekend did not come in the spirit of fun, but came to spread pharisaism. While most playfully bantered that weekend, this self-appointed morality monitor chose to leave the following comment on my site under my entry titled, National Confession Weekend:

My confession is that I really have great hate feelings for anyone so superficial and pointless as to take up a space on this planet who calls themselves "Red Kitten" and, from the photo, looks like a typical walking aides and syphilis cocktail. Excuse me for being so frank but I have never seen such a total waste of space on the internet in my life. People like you are the reasons why scientists are working on genetic engineering. We really must do somethhing about these degenerates and have some rules to this msn spaces. Where are the cyber-police? Arrest this hooker! And I think you know what you can do with your pole!

Published By WebWolfe (http://Don’t come by) – 6/25/2005 9:25 AM

Since I’m a supporter of the 1st Amendment, I didn’t delete WebWolfe’s venomous accusations.  Each person has a right to disagree, but some spineless amoeboids like to perpetrate sneak attacks cloaked by anonymity (this type of mentality can be seen on a much larger scale through the acts we witnessed on 9/11).  I simply let WebWolfe’s words stand as an example of cowardice and also how one can abuse the 1st Amendment. 

I waited in silence hoping that eventually WebWolfe would resurface.  While browsing through some old entries on a friend’s blog late last night, the cyber gods smiled down at me and gave me what I had wanted. There before me was WebWolfe’s URL! Since the gauntlet had already been thrown down, it would have been fair for me to go to WebWolfe’s site and give her a taste of her own medicine.  I decided against doing that.  What I have to say, I will say here where the initial attack was made so nothing will be deleted or altered. 

Disagreeing with what someone writes can be done in tactful manner.  Most people adhere to having good manners while disagreeing. Obviously, WebWolfe’s pseudo-intellect doesn’t grasp the concept of fair play and she cannot disagree without using tactics like character assassinations and plain old muckraking.  She’s entitled to her opinion of me and my blog, but general consensus puts her opinion in the minority.   Furthermore, if a person doesn’t like the content of someone else’s blog, then just don’t visit it.  It’s as easy as that! Does writing a comment like the one left for me by WebWolfe show anything more than her obvious immaturity and lack of tact?

Out of curiosity, I visited Webwolfe’s site, THE FUTURE OF EVOLUTION.  I have to admit what I found didn’t surprise me.  The site was rather sterile and lacked any real originality.  What it screamed out at me was "please, someone (anyone, it doesn’t matter who) come along and be impressed with what I’ve posted!" To date, not many people have been impressed with her and somehow I doubt they ever will.  I could be wrong, but I bet she’ll get more hits from me posting this rebuttal than she ever has on her own merit. For me, the best part of the whole blog was the quote she used as her favorite quote on her profile:

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

Dalai Lama 

It made me wonder if she intended that as a feeble attempt to display her twisted sense of humor.  It certainly made me laugh! Surely, a person who had made such an unprovoked attack on anyone wouldn’t use the Dalai Lama’s words as a serious quote!  I wonder what the Dalai Lama would think of WebWolfe’s act of kindness towards me.  I’m sure he wouldn’t consider me  "a typical walking aides and syphilis cocktail."  In her sagely comments she speaks of genetic engineering… surely, scientists aren’t trying to create a superior race of beings from a pharisaical, warmongering genepool like the one to which she belongs.  If so, please let me find some place else to live!

Webwolfe, I do agree with one thing you wrote.  Yes, there needs to be some rules on MSN Spaces.  A rule protecting people against libelous harassment might be a nice place to start.  Also, if you think any scientist would select your DNA to mix in the genepool to make the ideal specimen, you’re sadly mistaken.  Not only do you have some very obvious major flaws in your character, but you have some small ones as well.  Next time you want to attempt to sound intelligent, use spellcheck and try making grammatically correct sentences.  There’s nothing more annoying than some hit and run flamer trying to dazzle people with their non-existent intellect.  Furthermore, yes I do know what I can do with my pole.  I believe it might fit very nicely up your unlubricated, puritanical ass. 

"Excuse me for being so frank," but in unison and loud enough for this frigid  "missing link" to hear, will everyone please:

Give me a "C"! 

Give me a "U"! 

Give me a "N"! 

Give me a "T"!

What’s that spell? W-E-B-W-O-L-F-E!!!

 Thank you for reminding me of what the true meaning of the word "cunt" is… you depict it well.  One last thing, thank you for being my inspiration!  There’s no way in hell that I’ll ever give someone like you the satisfaction of seeing me leave here.  I’m here to stay!!!

Comments from "The Clique":

KENTUCKYBETH23 July 17, 2005 at 3:15 PM

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

 

ALE M. July 17, 2005 at 3:37 PM

wow! I never thought someone could "attack" like that you go girl:)

MONTY July 17, 2005 at 4:26 PM

I wouldn’t get too bothered about comments, I don't take negative comments from people who don’t know me seriously and especially via the internet. If you consider that 10% of the population is at any one time suffering from a mental health problem there are bound to be some "strange" comments posted from time to time. My best was a death threat left on my Space earlier in the year by a Spanish guy. I found that funny as he left it in Spanish and I only picked out the word "muerte" and I had to translate it. In a way it felt all a bit "spaghetti western." The only other negative comment I got that drew any reaction from me was from a guy who thought he needed, every now and then, to discredit my preferred internet browser through comments. I left a simple, concise response to his last comment ….."tosser"

P July 17, 2005 at 4:41 PM

woohooo…well said

JOSE July 17, 2005 at 4:57 PM

Bravo! Well said… Now, lets see what we can do about WebWolfe’s Space… };-) Her view on developing a genetically engineered super-race has an erie ring of Nazi racist views… It is an embarassment (for me) that she lives in the same city as I do! (Houston, Texas) I assure whoever reads this comment that most Houstonians are very nice people and that she is the exception, not the rule, in Texas.

DARLENE July 17, 2005 at 5:11 PM

CUNT! Am I too late? I tip my baseball cap….nice flame! MCP

NASCAR DAN July 17, 2005 at 5:31 PM

AFTER GOING TO WEBWOLFE'S WEB SITE I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GO OUT AND CLIMB A TREE WITH A BANANA IN MY MOUTH. DID I REALLY COME FROM A MONKEY OR GORILLA THAT MUST EXPLAIN WHY I LOVE TO CLIMB TREES IN THE FIRST PLACE I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

RK July 17, 2005 at 5:45 PM

Bethy, thank you…thank you very much (done in my best Elvis voice) PrematureCrab, you haven’t been attacked until you feel the wrath of the dysfunctional ones! BestMonty, would that "tosser" be a salad-tosser, perhaps? pamalajane2000…or is it just Pam? Looks like I’ve had too many beers too! Stick around and see who else jumps in this bitchfest. flyingtower, I don’t think all people from Houston are ignorant…just the ones into genetic engineering. We might get a few of these gents around here to donate alittle DNA to the cause! Pariah? Jnuts? Calling all sperm donors! We need to create a master race! Are you up to it? MCP, one is never too later to jump into a nice flame. See how that word just rolled off your fingertips. BTW, long time no see…how have you been doing? RebornTIGERDAN974, I believe the CUNT is handing out bananas to anyone who donates a little DNA. Maybe you should offer her some…

EBONYWYVERNDRAGON July 17, 2005 at 5:51 PM

U all that an a bag o chips, woman! 🙂

 

JOHN July 17, 2005 at 7:04 PM

That’s MUCH better… 🙂

RICK July 17, 2005 at 7:26 PM

Ouch! You know I have been to that site, but have yet to see it updated, so I don’t think it is in much use. And I have yet to see a posted comment of hers anywhere. But it’s funny that she would leave such an idiotic comment, while proclaiming the advancement of the human race. Of course she could be talking about reverse evolution where the neanderthal is the primary goal. In which case she is right on target. Either way it was inappropriate, and tasteless, and the obvious product of a small mind. And as a proponent of Darwinism, this woman is an embarrassment, and a bad example of natural selection. I mean funny, stupid, not funny, ha-ha.

NASCAR DAN July 17, 2005 at 7:42 PM

I'LL PASS ON THAT

CHERYL July 17, 2005 at 10:24 PM

fear, envy possibly and definitely misunderstanding or her part, she got you wrong and I’d be pissed too

STEPHEN CRAIG July 17, 2005 at 11:16 PM

Karen………………I am laughing so so very much that wine may spill out my nose….Loves ya my dear…..Be well. Stephen

AMANDA July 17, 2005 at 11:34 PM

wow. that was great. I wonder what she is thinking… no I really dont wonder. Its probably something rather uncomplex and degrading. or something "evolutional" which is far worse. But anyways, I do believe what you had to say is awesome. just thought I'd say that.

REDVELVET July 18, 2005 at 12:13 AM

All Hail Red Kitten!!! 🙂

BARBARA July 18, 2005 at 1:41 AM

I will come to the defense of that poor webwolf. Give her a break people. That wood alcohol and cheap ’radiator’ moonshine she has been ingesting is taking its toll on her little gray cells. There just aren’t that many of them left after her steady diet of those cocktails. I am sure she will close down her website soon so she can go into rehab. Karen, you have come to life! I think "Emily" got a wiff of your power and got pushed away from your coastline.

 

PSYCHEDELIC PARIAH July 18, 2005 at 11:58 AM

I’m somewhat hesitant to step into this having been guilty of similar acts in the not too recent past. However, I like to believe that I’ve cleared the air and have set things straight. Hell, I even helped create the Red Dyke persona that you like to don every once in a while. So, to comment on something like this might sound a bit disengenous coming from me, but I think you know me well enough, Karen, to know that people can de-jerk themselves. Maybe this wolf will one day do the same. You can read it in her name; on the prowl, hunting, cunning. If she’s like me, she pushes away before she can be pushed away. Sometimes the pain only subsides when it’s shared. What she did was wrong and I’m not making excuses for her.

RK July 18, 2005 at 3:44 PM

Laoch Ceilteach said I am the Wizard and if that’s the case, what’s the odds on one of you bringing me her broomstick?

RK July 18, 2005 at 3:48 PM

Just bring me anything except her panties….I’m not that kind of girl (you’ll have to hook up with the Red Dyke for that stuff)

RK July 18, 2005 at 3:50 PM

Medication time, everyone!

MONICA July 18, 2005 at 4:47 PM

Very well put. I love your space. Bravo I say to you. Mo

REEKING HAVOC'S LAIR July 18, 2005 at 5:20 PM

Flamers must expect to get flamed back…Wolfie, if you want to present yourself as a highly-evolved and spiritual person, best not to do this silly crap….It gives the lie to everything else you have to say.

HEATHER July 18, 2005 at 6:04 PM

***Stands and applauds***

UNKNOWN July 18, 2005 at 8:40 PM

for the record. I think red kitten is an adorable name and I love your blog. You sure told ol’ "whats er name"!

RHONDA AND SCOTT July 18, 2005 at 8:45 PM

Ok, if we came from monkeys, etc…then why do we still have monkeys? Wouldn’t they evolve? Sad when she’s gotta try to trample you to make herself feel better! You go frog stomp her! She won’t even know what hit her-she has TWO spaces and they are both BORING!!!~WD

RK July 18, 2005 at 9:05 PM

Two spaces? I only know of one she has. The one I have listed in this entry, The Future Of Evolution. Does the other space she have show monkeys mating? No wait…you said they were boring…that must mean it showed her mating with a monkey.

TWILA July 19, 2005 at 7:58 AM

RK, Hey! G’mornin’! BRAVO! That little missy needs a little red tractor to pull her head out of her ass! Here’s the link to her other site…http://spaces.msn.com/members/citichic/. Got it right out of her comments section. And I suspect you’re right….she’ll have more bloggers checking her site from your blog than she’ll ever have otherwise! And thanks for reposting her comments. I’d missed it originally and often wondered what she was all about. Obviously NOT much! Have a great day and please don’t retire. Those of us in the ’know’ love to read your blogs! Twila

BRUCE July 19, 2005 at 12:14 PM

Let me try that one again…B-R-A-V-O

HAIRROLD July 19, 2005 at 9:16 PM

How is that U always find the bipedious scum. Man, I love all this excitement! Time 4 a tour of the net ala flames. Take it easy, & keep up the amazing werk. Luv ya 2 death!!>;\’}

AMY July 20, 2005 at 7:45 AM

Oh geez…you both made my night and destroyed it with this one masterpiece. Hilarious, but how am I ever to be crowned as the Cyber-Bitch-Queen while you’re still blogging away? I shall have to continue reading and enjoying your blog while accepting my mediocrity.

MARCIE July 20, 2005 at 7:33 PM

You do decide who is IN…I am happy I have not met your quick tongue in battle…I am glad to see anger is leading the way to some great blogging…I am not checking out her blog solely because I don’t want to attest to any hit that might make her head any bigger. You rock, kitten! By the way, kittens make me happy…and you have made my night!

MORIAH July 20, 2005 at 9:09 PM

LMAO!!! Great job slamming her!!! Serves the pompous B***h right…lol Glad you are staying…I enjoy your site…

KENNY July 21, 2005 at 6:37 PM

You can scoff at this one RK !…Like a famous song & album of the same name "All things must pass"…it won’t be this way forever. Tongue in cheek, you know you are so much better than anyone who badmouths your brilliant space. All said & done…You will always be the Queen of blogs to most of us – your ardent followers. Happiness!

I've been reading some of my old posts from back in the day when things just got started in the blogosphere and I realized just how different things are now. My original blog was named Abnormally Normal People and it was located on MSN Spaces. In the past, I've mentioned Psychedelic Pariah a few times, but like Beetlejuice don't say his name 3 times in a row or else he might appear and trust me, you really, don't want that to happen! On this particular day Psychedelic Pariah was acting human. I guess no one pissed in his Wheaties! ha! That didn't happen often. When I first started blogging I did so under the screen name, Red Kitten before I became Mildred Ratched.  Although I think part of me has always been Mildred Ratched, a crusty old bitch with a don’t fuck with me attitude.

To tell this story I have describe few characters that were created for the Psychedelic Pariah's benefit. The Red Dyke was a character I created due to the name-calling Psychedelic Pariah slung my way. He was a bully right out of the Trump playbook long before there was a Trump playbook. In fact, if I remember correctly, The Red Dyke wore high-top Birkenstocks with a tight red body suit and well, she was a superhero, of course! She let her long, wavy, chestnut hair flow free.  At one time I had a drawing of her, but it's long gone. The Blue Mute was another blogging buddy of mine that felt Pariah's wrath, also. We did nothing to Pariah other than be a thorn in his side from time to time by merely existing, I think we became the Troglodyte Twins in his mind. Charming, huh? Imagine that! Me being a thorn in anyone's side! ha! Actually, I took what he meant as a slam and turned it into something rather funny. I think it pissed him off that his insults didn't bother me and instead turned them into a joke. 

Imagine someone like Donald Trump...you know, someone who loves to stir things up, yet unlike Trumplethinskin, Psychedelic Pariah was highly intelligent and he was a very talented writer (I hate to admit that.) You had to stay on your toes with him or else he'd crucify you. I never quite figured out what his deal was and then he disappeared never to be heard from again as did many of these people on MSN Spaces. For many the blogging fever waned and for others it became a part of our lives and now we mostly, exist in peace and harmony except for the occasional annoying spam here and there.

As you read what I've copied and pasted below, please pay special attention to the comment "Kathy" leaves in response to my post titled National Confession Weekend I wrote in the spirit simply having some fun because my next post is my response to her.

The idea for National Confession Weekend originated from the following chat I had with my partner in crime, The Blue Mute the night before I wrote the post titled National Confession Weekend:

The Red Dyke says:
I’m listening to Unchain My Heart by Joe Cocker….makes me want to get up and dance

The Red Dyke says:
all I need is my pole

The Red Dyke says:
believe it or not I have one in my living room

The Red Dyke says:
lol

The Red Dyke says:
maybe I need to write that as a confession in abnorms…I have a pole in my livingroom

The Red Dyke says:
I wonder how many women can say that

The Blue Mute says:
you have a POLE pole??

The Red Dyke says:
yes

The Red Dyke says:
a pole…from ceiling to floor

The Blue Mute says:
for what….

The Red Dyke says:
dancing

The Blue Mute says:
so you like to dance with poles

The Red Dyke says:
I like Irishmen better

The Blue Mute says:
HAHAHAHA

The Red Dyke says:
the pole can be used for anything you want it to be used for

The Red Dyke says:
hey…remember I’m a saucy tart?????

The Blue Mute says:
oohhh yeah!

The Red Dyke says:
saucy tarts have toys

June 23, 2005 by Red Kitten >^.^<

National Confession Weekend

I decree it to be National Confession Weekend (June 24 – 26, 2005) and everyone has to reveal at least one useless bit of information about themselves on their own Space.

My confession:

I HAVE A POLE IN MY LIVINGROOM!!

(I'm revealing this now, but the pole was a huge support beam in the shape of a pole)

32 Replies to “National Confession Weekend”

Dingo says:
June 23, 2005 at 10:10 pm

Okay, yeah I’m the Blue Mute, but the truth is….I am NOT MUTE! That was a big misunderstanding that I won’t go into right now. By the time you and me teamed up I was already using The Dingo as my faithful translator. So me and The Dingo was talking the other day and we was wondering if you did your confession day if Pariah would come play in our sandbox. The Dingo told me we should hand him a shovel and tell him to bury himself with a real confession. I think Dingo might try to bury Pariah like a bone.

RK says:
June 23, 2005 at 10:17 pm

I can’t predict what Psychedelic Pariah might do. I’ve yet to witness him letting his hair down and playing with the rest of the dysfunctional family, but there’s always a first time for everything. I guess we’ll just have to sit back in breathless anticipation and see what the verdict is, Dingo.  I believe I would prefer to bury Pariah rather than having him bury himself. I personally would love to have him write some truly worthless confession to amuse me.

Out_of_order891 says:
June 23, 2005 at 11:20 pm

im lost whats the point of this blog?

Out_of_order891 says:
June 23, 2005 at 11:20 pm

or this whole space

Cynical says:
June 24, 2005 at 12:08 am

Hi, RK, Haven’t been by in a few days. I was busy pissing people off with a diatribe on F1 racing fiascos and a Flag Burning article/landmine. I am almost afraid to ask, but would you tell me when ….. Grump. Brain fade. You list when National Confession Weekend is at the top of your Blog. I’ll be back when I think of what might be most inappropriate for a shrink approaching early coothood to confess. I think I know what it will be unless I find something more normal.Peace, Doc

Psychedelic Pariah says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:25 am

Confessions are easy. They’re fun. My problem is I could go all night. Yes, that’s right. I’ll play this game with you. God, where to start…

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:42 am

Out_of_order891, the point of this blog or as you came back and questioned in fact the validity of this whole space is that it has no point…obviously, your superior intellect didn’t allow for you to see sometimes girls just want to have fun! I can see it’s gonna be one of those weekends! Doc, come on….tell us something inappropriate and normal…yes, that’s the ticket. I’m sure you’ve got something lurking in there! Pariah, welcome to the sandbox, darling. Remember to take your shoes off and no taking a dump while you’re in here. okay? Play well and I’ll keep an eye out for bullies.

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 7:00 am

BTW Doc, I burned 10 flags in your honor today! Now, gentlemen and ladies I expect to see some totally useless/worthless tidbits revealed. Choose wisely and remember to be honest! And Dingo….stop kicking sand on Pariah. He’s NOT a bone! Pariah, just out of curiosity…do you have blue eyes?

RK says:
June 24, 2005 at 7:04 am Edit

One last thing before I leave for the day….I discovered what useless tidbit "Out_of_order891" left for us! He/she has a restricted space so we can\’t go see the depth of this person’s thinking and witness perfection and true meaning in the making! OMG, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED! Someone make me feel better…….PLEASE!

Varahn says:
June 24, 2005 at 10:44 am

Confessions hmmm? No pole. *if you catch my meaning*~Tet~

barbara says:
June 24, 2005 at 11:02 am

Confessions? Well, I use L’Oreal. Does that count? Ok ok… I’m not as blonde as I seem. More? Juicy you say? OK. I’m not a virgin. I can never ride a Harley again.

Psychedelic Pariah says:
June 24, 2005 at 12:04 pm

Yes, RK, I do have blue eyes. Why would you ask that?

Lisa says:
June 24, 2005 at 1:50 pm

I went through a phase, not sure how old I was, (maybe 11?) of stealing books from the local shop. They were either Enid Blyton (childrens stories) or porn magazines. Dunno what that means..

NASCAR DAN says:
June 24, 2005 at 2:58 pm

OK I want a pole in my living room and the WWE divas oh well I can dream about it anyway I once stole some money from my sister to buy some cowboy boots but after I got them they did not fit plus I got in trouble,so much for my days as cowboy any way take care RK, my confession on my site is coming soon.

Goodbyefranko says:
June 24, 2005 at 4:07 pm

I think I’ve done most of my really big confessing already…lets see…I used to steal paperbacks as well…mainly westerns…but one called Dove about the kid who began to sail around the world by himself @ 16 y/o and made it 5 yrs later, married and in one piece. What a great book for a squirt like me. Eventually, I got caught. And I learned my lesson too. Now, I just pirate music and DVDs. Aaarrrrrrrrrrr.

Debeann says:
June 24, 2005 at 6:01 pm

Well they do say confession is good for the soul….or so she says as bares her soul from the pole…my confession is coming!

NASCAR DAN says:
June 24, 2005 at 9:23 pm

hey RK I got my confession up stop by and take a look.

Unknown says:
June 24, 2005 at 10:15 pm

Amazing. I too have a nice pole .. but mine is in my bedroom … attached to the bed! Wanna come check out my pole kitten? O:)

Bob says:
June 24, 2005 at 11:47 pm

Ah, I don\’t believe that you actually dance on that pole. But a few pictures might convince me…In the meantime, I’ve made my own confession on my site, so come on over and visit.

Cynical says:
June 25, 2005 at 1:17 am

I have to set the stage a bit here. I went to a Catholic undergraduate school where the good brothers of the Society of The Precious Blood not only failed miserably in their attempts to turn me into a "young Catholic gentleman," but created, at best, an agnostic who had learned enough theology and philosophy (minors in both, though I refused to claim them) to know why I believed as I did. I married my first wife right out of college before it was off to grad school. It seemed to me that, to avoid hurting my relatives, I probably should go to confession so I could receive communion at my own wedding. I even went in to Chicago to St. Peter\’s Cathedral. (Here comes the good part.) The priest that heard my confession didn’t appear interested in anything I considered a sin, but launched into a lecture on why I must not marry a non-Catholic. Before he had finished, my parting comment was "F**k you, Father!" And I didn’t even wait for my penance. I shall discuss the incidents with the chihuahua at another time. Peace, Doc

George says:
June 25, 2005 at 2:12 am

Wow your own pole. Brass I hope. Does it have a name?

Reeking Havoc's Lair says:
June 25, 2005 at 6:24 am 

OK, my confession is ready. It’s about something I didn’t do.

Kathy says:
June 25, 2005 at 8:25 am 

My confession is that I really have great hate feelings for anyone so superficial and pointless as to take up a space on this planet who calls themselves "Red Kitten" and, from the photo, looks like a typical walking aides and syphilis cocktail. Excuse me for being so frank but I have never seen such a total waste of space on the internet in my life. People like you are the reasons why scientists are working on genetic engineering. We really must do somethhing about these degenerates and have some rules to this msn spaces. Where are the cyber-police? Arrest this hooker! And I think you know what you can do with your pole!

A Utah Woman Am I says:
June 25, 2005 at 9:16 am

That is great! Knowing me though I would think your house used to be a firehouse or something (seeing as I am a little slow on the uptake). But that is awesome that you have a pole! It would provide a ton of entertainment I am sure! I will have to think of something to "reveal" this weekend…hmmm…

Jnutsaz says:
June 25, 2005 at 7:34 pm 

Crap. Now I have to confess something? I’m going to have to think about that one. Don’t want to alienate any more people than necessary.

RK says:
June 25, 2005 at 8:33 pm

Varahn_Tet, no pole but you haven’t made a confession yet. I’m waiting with baited breath! Barbie, I know I can always count on you playing along! Believe it or not, I’m not a virgin either. Psychedelic_Pariah, the answer to your question is posted on your site. FinestPantyHose, we’ll leave the analysis of your choice of books to steal for The Doc. mochajavamanDK, "Dove" sounds like a great book…who wrote it? Debeann, I just checked…no confession yet! Shame on you!RebornTIGERDAN974. thanks for your contribution to National Confession Weekend. Thomas, hopefully we can compare poles someday! Dutchdummy, I enjoyed reading your pole confession and the great thing about confessions is that it’s up to the reader to believe or disbelieve what’s written. CynicalPsychologist, OMG…I think I’m in love! airhorny, the brass pole matches my brass balls. Reeking_Havoc, what a sweetheart you are for playing in the sandbox! Did you ever get a heat rash from going commando? A_Utah_Woman_Am_I, I’m looking forward to reading your confession. Jnuts, you don’t have to worry about alienating anyone…now write something shocking like you’ve danced on The Red Dyke’s pole…..LOL

Cordelia says:
June 26, 2005 at 3:10 am

Confession posted!

RK says:
June 26, 2005 at 2:40 pm

euphrosyne22, thanks for posting a confession and welcome to the sandbox!

Tawse says:
June 27, 2005 at 5:37 am

I’m a day late.. but it’s posted none the less =)

P says:
June 27, 2005 at 5:41 pm

see, now you have a pole in your living room. that is your confession. indigo was caught in a compromising position in public. I cannot possibly participate in confessions week. because my confessions would include things like: I stole stickers from my piano teacher in 5th grade. *GASP!* I’m going to go out and do something devilish tonight just so I can fulfill the assignment while maintaining my pride. maybe I’ll…litter. *SHRIEK!*:) patresa

Amy says:
July 2, 2005 at 11:22 am

LOL…That’s a great chat and confession! I have run out of tame confessions as I have a onrunning Sunday Confessions post.

Virus says:
July 13, 2005 at 4:47 pm

I'm at a loss for words. I think I have a pole in my mouth.

For those of you who actually read this entire post...My confession this time around is that the pole in my living room was a huge support beam in the shape of a pole and not a stripper pole! The fantasy is always much better than the reality! Alas, Red Kitten was a fraud! lol I hate when that happens, don't you? But trust me, Mildred is the real deal! And if Mildred starts confessing to stuff people might end up in jail. Uh! Oh! 

So what's your confession? 

I Have A Water Buffalo In My Bed

I wish someone could explain to me how a small dog the size of a Shih Tzu can expand to the size of a water buffalo in bed at night.  I'm lucky if I get 6 inches of bed. I must push her over at least a dozen times a night, but she loves to snuggle and PUSH! Most of time I don't mind, but when I'm in pain, it gets to be a little too much togetherness.  Typically, what my babies do is burrow under the covers and find a spot.  Fenway's spot is always right up against me.  She loves her momma!

My other small dog, B.A. (a Doodle aka Doxiepoo) settles in and you'd never know he's there until morning when he wakes up and wants to go out and then it's a fire drill to get outside.  While he and Libby eagerly go outside, I always have to come back inside to roust Fenway out of bed because she loves to root around in the sheets before going outside. Isn't it funny the routines animals establish?

My third dog, Libby (a Dandie Dinmont Terrier) sleeps in a dog bed...go figure! She doesn't like being outside.  She has severe allergies so all her outside activities are just out and right back in followed by an hour or two of scratching.  She does take allergy meds which help somewhat, but to date nothing has given her complete relief. I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find something that works, but as of now nothing has.  The vet just tries to keep it as managed as possible with diet etc.

Mildred's Makeover

Just so everyone won't think my life is totally bleak all the time, my daughter gave me a makeover not long ago.  This old gal can still rock it when I have to! Unfortunately, the times I have to rock it aren't that often anymore. After she did this to me, she instructed me to go to Lowe's and pick up a contractor (I don't do bars or online dating and I desperately need a lot of home repairs done.) She assumed I'd work something out in trade. To that thought, I just rolled my eyes. Aren't I getting a little too old for those fun and games? Besides, is the barter system still used in this country? If so, what's the going rate for home repairs? 

A Rose By Any Other Name

Mother's Day is tomorrow and I'm not going to the cemetery.  I can't.  I sit here and feel my mother with me each day and that's enough. I don't need to go visit her.

I wish I could say I'm in better shape than I am, but I'm not.  I feel like I have emotional diarrhea. How's that's for an image to get stuck in your head?  Now, all I need is some emotional Imodium or Pepto Bismol.  I can get happy and pink all in the same moment! Seriously, I woke up this morning and I was crying. How can a person cry in their sleep? I don't think I was dreaming or if I was I don't remember what I was dreaming about. I just feel drained and lost all the time. 

I wish I could say it's all is due to my mother's death, but I don't think it is.  I think it's me. If it was self-pity. I would kick myself in the ass and get on with it, but this goes way beyond simple self-pity. This fearless creature known as Mildred Ratched is actually scared and for the first time in her life she's absolutely clueless. I'm a basket case and just a step shy of being a blithering idiot.

So, I soothed myself by getting my hands extremely dirty. I mixed up a batch of cow manure, peat moss and dirt from my compost pile to plant some flowers, then I watched all the birds play in my backyard. Now, I sit here in my living room (I'm taking a break with a Coke and a smile) and the birds are singing so loud I can hear them.  They must want me to come back outside??? If that's the case, they want me to fill their bird feeders. I guess I should go make them happy...