THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT

I had an extremely restless night last night. I was in a lot of pain. Sleep came relatively early which is very unusual for me, but my dreams were strange and scattered. I kept feeling like someone was brushing my hair away from my face. That didn't really bother me, but I couldn't wake myself to see who it was. At the times I did wake up, my pain was so intense I had tears in my eyes because of it. Then I would drift in and out of sleep almost like I had been drugged, but I wasn't drugged. The weird part about the whole thing is that this morning when I woke up to take my dogs out around 6am. When I turned my lamp on there was a pile of sunflower seeds on my nightstand. I don't have any sunflower seeds in my house and I can't tell you when the last time I even ate any sunflower seeds. I have no idea how they got there and they weren't there when I went to bed last night. I really do think I have a poltergeist or maybe I'm going crazy!

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY

Truth #20:  One of my favorite quotes is by Carlos Castaneda. I find it to be extremely true and beneficial to anyone who cares to put some real work into their life. We all have times when we sink into despair and feel miserable. Some people prefer to remain in that wretched cesspool barely keeping their head above water because it becomes a comfortable, familiar place to exist. They find reasons to continually browbeat themselves and punish themselves so that their sorrow makes sense as if they have some harsh dues to pay. They reinforce every mistake they've ever made with negative internal dialogue until they believe there is nothing good in life left for them. No, we can't turn back the hands of time! Nobody gets a do over, but what we do get is a second chance at finding some happiness and with it some inner peace. Coming out of pure misery requires strength, courage and the belief that there is something better out there than sitting at the gates of Hell and being emotionally bankrupt waiting for our days here on Earth to wind down.  

THE READING ROOM

Like many people, I call my bathroom "the library" or "the reading room." Take your pick.  The selection of reading material in my bathroom range from good old Readers Digests to a book titled 1001 Facts That Will Scare The Shit Out of You (The Ultimate Bathroom Reader). Although the book was published in 2010 and some of the facts are outdated now, I'd like to start discussing some of the ones I think are noteworthy.

Since the book has twenty chapters, I'll have plenty of material to select for blog posts.  The premise of the book is set up by citing a fact followed by a snarky comment by the author about the fact. Each fact is backed up by some sort of research which is cited in the right-hand column. Chapter One is titled "Are You Gonna Eat That?"

Here's a good one for all us peanut butter lovers. What I want to know is if this includes Jif since choosy mothers choose Jif... Oh no! I love Jif!

FACT: One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs. (Up to 150. That means there could only be 120-130. Whew! I was almost disgusted there for a second.)

Let's not discriminate and leave the wine drinkers left out of this horror show.

FACT: Most wines are made from grapes harvested by machines that scythe through everything in their path, including sticks, insects, rodents and even larger mammals which can make their way into the end product. This is known to wine growers as MOG or "material other than grapes." (MOG also stands for "Mother of God I think that was a hoof.")

*Repost from June 18, 2019

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY NINETEEN

Truth #19: Racism is wrong! It's not something that we are genetically born with. It's something we learn along the way through our life experiences. It's ugly! It's vile! It's harsh! It's painful! And it's up to each of us to look at our fellow man as human beings, as equals and not as different because they have a different color skin than we have. We need to judge each person on deed and not on skin color. Each infringement on this simple truth is a mark against humanity and nothing more. 

A KODAK MOMENT

Hello world! The rumors of my untimely demise have been grossly exaggerated. While some will jump for joy over this news, others will grumble and moan.  I seem to have that effect on people. This anecdote seemed appropriate to signal that I've finally come up for air with my twisted humor intact. Or maybe it means the Zoloft and anti-anxiety meds are actually working.

On my way to a doctor's appointment not too long ago I stopped and took the photo below.  The independently-owned gas station that once had done business at a prime location had been rudely squeezed out of business by two convenience stores very close by. I'm sure that's a too familiar story for many small business owners. Now, the once thriving business claim to fame is barbecued turkey legs (not listed on the sign), sweet potatoes, boiled peanuts and an occasional carwash for some local charity or school.  You can't get more Southern than that except if they offered ice cold moonshine as a beverage to wash away your cares.

As I came to a stop at the traffic light at the intersection on which this once booming business rests, I did a quick double take. Obviously, either new services are now being offered or some young hooligan rearranged the letters to get some laughs. Yep, I actually circled around so I could take a picture on my cell phone from the parking lot. I have to admit I was tempted to ask how much does it cost to get an "oiled anus" because the price wasn’t listed and after all knowing the price is an important thing especially for those who are on a tight budget.  I exercised my almost non-existent self-control by simply driving away with a smile on my face, but only after securing a picture that truly is worth a thousand words or in this case, three hundred and nineteen words.

* Repost from November 30, 2015

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY EIGHTEEN

Truth #18: You never know where or when Murphy's Laws will strike next! It's usually when you're least expecting it and least prepared. I always say that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. It seems my whole life has been testament to proving that theory to be correct until I put myself in a rather lengthy time-out. Just recently I've been half-ass dabbling with this online dating stuff and wouldn't you know it that I stumbled across someone quite accidently who actually tickled my fancy by what he wrote in his profile, etc. Of course, I couldn't leave well enough alone! I had to send him a message. 

In my mind I see this guy getting with a bunch of bimbos, airheads and all sorts of women who just don't get him and he's bored to death. He wants a little mental stimulation to put some pep in his step. He wants pizzazz! Some gusto! Something real! I had no intention of doing anything, but giving him some encouragement but not on my behalf but to stay in the game and to continue his hunt. So I sent him a message:

Nope! I don't want to be anyone's "Florida vacation."  The last time that happened, it put me in a lengthy time-out and I'm just starting to dig my way out of that now. You talk about a severe case of PSTD! The trouble here isn't that we wouldn't click, it's that we would and then hey, reality would set in. We live over 500 miles apart and long distance relationships rarely work. Naturally, you want to be with the person and can't be. Then the worst happens...convenience finally wins out. One or the other or both of us would find someone locally to take the loneliness away. Don't you like how I just had a whole relationship with someone I don't even know in just a few sentences? That's very insightful of me because I know myself and I see the writing on the wall. I know the far away galaxy he seeks too well and I think I could razzle dazzle him with some deep meaningful whatever and then some. But I'm not going there...I can't!!! So repeat after me, Mildred! I am not going to go there. Back off and leave it alone :)