MIXED FEELINGS

Check out the mullet!

Last night my daughter, Christina sent me a text message telling me that my ex-husband, Jim wasn't doing well and probably wouldn't live much longer. Her ex step-brother, Josh had texted her to let her know the news and asked her to pass along the information to me with a copy of a short note I had written him years earlier back in the early 1990's. I wasn't too surprised about the news about Jim because he has never taken care of his health even when he was younger.  Of course, I have mixed feelings about the news and will deal with those feelings over time. Ho! Ho! Ho! 'Tis the season...

I have to admit that I was more surprised that Josh had kept that note than I was about the news about his father. When I read the note, I did so with a "red pen" in hand looking for errors. Of course, I found a few. Go figure!  What stuck out most to me was the part I wrote about God. You see, I am NOT a believer, but Josh is so I must have written that part for his benefit. Mildred has a heart after all! Shhhh! Let that be our little secret because I have a reputation to uphold. What brought a smile to my face were the personal touches that only he and I would know what they meant.  I have to admit the note brought a tear or two to my rather dry eyes.

I vaguely remember writing the note, but the circumstances aren't crystal clear. Old age is a bitch! Obviously, it must have been one of the times when Jim and I parted ways. Josh had finished high school and had started college.  I do feel proud of him because he went on to finish college and he became a doctor. His brother, Jason is also a doctor and his sister, Jamie works in the medical field as well.  I never had a close relationship with Jason and Jamie because they lived in another state with their mother and we only saw them periodically. Josh lived with us. And for the record...Josh was a handful and then some! I always thought he just needed someone to believe in him no matter what and I always tried to be that person.

When he finished college, he came and found me to let me know he had graduated and had been accepted into medical school and would be starting soon. The rest is history...

It's been a long time since I've heard from him and I know the circumstances suck, but I'm glad to know I still am in his thoughts occasionally.

A Good Idea?

Remember when people used to talk to each other? While technology may be a wonderful thing, it has created a generation of people who either do not want to or can't interact with each other because they simply don't know how. I don't know how many times I've been out in public and have witnessed groups of young people sitting together texting away on their phones instead of engaging each other in conversation and laughing out loud instead of texting "lol". What have we become? Do we no longer need human contact? Do we no longer need to gaze into each other's eyes?

When my children were young occasionally we would have no television/ computer/videogame days and yes, at first it caused great wailing and gnashing of teeth, but it didn't take long for the family to adjust to those days of intimate bonding. We played board games. We played cards. We played outside. We went to the beach. We found other things to do, but more importantly whatever we decided to do we did it TOGETHER.

My daughter, as an adult made a decision not to ever get cable or satellite television . When my grandson was young the first thing he would do whenever he would come for a visit was to find the cartoon network. What a treat that was for him. Yes, he played video games and had a computer, but he didn't spend countless hours watching television. In fact, in later years when I would mention some television show on TV that I thought he might like a lot of times he truly didn't know the show. I have to admit it was almost refreshing, but I always would whisper in his ear and tell him he needed to "binge" a season or two of shows like Breaking Bad or Sons of Anarchy just so when his friends at school would talk about shows they were watching, he'd be in the loop. I was that "bad" Nana!  He even developed a liking for That 70's Show. I thought that was a riot because he did that on his own.

BTW...Happy 21st Birthday, Nathan! I love you!

A few years ago I questioned him about why he's not on Facebook and he's just not interested in it. Hallelujah! I have to say I'm proud of him because I think it's a wise decision on his part. I think Facebook has become ultra intrusive in so many people's private data and has also become a vehicle for propaganda to unwittingly to get spread around by uninformed "nitwits."  My apologies if you're one of those nitwits...If you are, FACT CHECK FIRST, before you share and spread lies with the rest of Facebook. Thanks!

Now on to the good stuff...
If this doesn't warm the cockles of your heart, nothing will! [lol]



MARENGO, Iowa (KCRG/Gray News) - ‘No phone, new friends Fridays’ is a new tradition at Iowa Valley Junior-Senior High School in Marengo. Principal Janet Behrens started it this year.

[Students take part in No phone, new friends Friday]

She said she noticed students at the school with their heads down, looking at their phones. Instead, she wanted them to look at each other, and learn face-to-face communication skills.

Students like junior Page Weick say they're seeing a difference. “Everybody enjoys it,” Weick said.

Students get a colored card when they walk in the cafeteria that tells them at which table to sit. The tables also have conversation starters.

“I think it's fun, I like doing it,” said Sahara Kanke, a freshman.

It's also a no-phone zone.

“Every little thing helps in this day and age with all of the things that you have going on, all the pressures that they have with social media. It's nice to see them take a break from all that,” Behrens said.

It took students a couple of weeks to get used to the idea.

“When it first started, I didn't want to do it at all,” Kanke explained.

“At the all-school assembly on the first day of school, there was a little bit of like, ‘No way, she's not really going to do that,'” Behrens said.

“Conversation is one of the most human, and humanizing things that we can do,” said Nathan Hodges, who teaches communication studies at Coe College.

He has an assignment where students go on a 24-hour tech detox, showing the importance of human connection in a digital age.

“You learn how to listen to people. You learn how to empathize with them,” he said.

Students said they think a phone-free lunch hour, spent talking with new friends, is helping their school to become a kinder place.

“People are more nice to each other now because they got to know each other at lunch,” Kanke said.

“I think people have a lot more respect for others,” Weick said.

Copyright 2019 KCRG via Gray Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved.


Read the original version of this article at kcrg.com.

A WILD RIDE AT THE FAIR

One of the highlights of summer as a child was when the fair would come to town. I thought it was wonderful when I was old enough to go in a group of friends without adult supervision. Of course this meant that shenanigans were going to take place. Since my father was a firefighter my family always got free passes into the fair, but from the time I started going without adult supervision it was a rite of passage to go under the fence to get into the fair. Kids will be kids and Mildred will definitely be Mildred. That's just the way it is and always will be.

The Bangor State Fair I'm sure wasn't any different than any other state fair of that era or so I thought. There were were rides, games, food and tucked at the back of the fair were the plethora of side shows. The rides made me hurl because I have motion sickness so unless I was coerced heavily and shamed into it by my friends to go on them I avoided the rides like they were the Bubonic plague. For me, it was the side shows that always fascinated me. The weirder the better I liked them! The barkers stood outside tempting people to come inside to see the oddities or to see the half naked dancing women. Of course, there was always a line of men waiting to see those luscious dancing women. We never thought they were very luscious, but what did we know? That didn't interest us! We always just sashayed by as if we were the real hot stuff and then we'd giggle like only little girls could do.

I'd been away for a few years at drug rehab, but when I was 18 I returned home for a visit. That was when I got an eye opening experience regarding the Bangor State Fair. My brother, Brian and his significant other, Rose asked me if I wanted to join them at the fair one evening. I had been feeling rather low and needed to get out so I decided to go with them. Other than maybe running into someone I hadn't seen in years, I couldn't think of anything that could be new about the fair, but since I didn't have anything else to do I accepted their invitation. So off we went to the fair... It all seemed too familiar. The smells. The lights. The sounds. Even the faces of the people I didn't know. We walked around and I have to admit I was disappointed I didn't run into anyone I knew...not one person!

Then we came to the sideshows. The men were outside doing their usual spiel, but then one caught our attention. He was hollering something about his show being for brave men and liberated women. He looked at my brother and said that he'd let Rose and me in for free if Brian paid for his own admission. Before we knew it we were inside the huge tent standing before a stage along with maybe 30 or so other people. As I slowly looked around, I discovered Rose and I were the only women in there. As the music started, a scantily dressed dancer came out on stage and with in less than a minute she was completely naked. My mouth dropped open! Can she do that? Is that legal?

I was at the Bangor State Fair I told myself as I looked around the dimly lit tent to make sure there wasn't anyone there I knew. I thought the police were going to come busting in at any second. As the dancer made her way around the stage she crouched down into a crab walk and started offering the people along the perimeter of the stage the opportunity to sample her wares (perform oral sex on her). When she got to my brother, she said, "You want some, honey?"

My brother responded as if someone has asked him if he wanted a donut. He told her that he already had some of his own and tilted his head towards Rose. She then made her way towards me and I had this OMG look on my face that gave her my answer as I just put my hand up as sign that I was okay without  "a taste." She just smiled at me and gave me a wink as she made her way around the stage. I'll never forget this older man on the other side on the stage who grabbed ahold of the cheeks of her ass and pulled her to him as he dove into her like he was at a pie eating contest. You could hear him slurping away over the music until "security" broke it up. By that time the song ended and we filed out of the tent. All I kept thinking was now everyone I grew up with will be lined up outside waiting to see me... I wanted to kick my brother because he thought it was hilarious that Rose and I had no idea what happened inside those sideshow tents. Call me naïve, but I guess I never in my wildest dreams ever imagined anything like that actually happened in Bangor Maine. Note to oneself: paybacks are hell!

I heard that the police shut that stuff down finally. I guess they weren't being paid off enough or something. Anyway, all I kept thinking about was all the times as a kid when I used to walk by those sideshows. I wonder if that sort of thing was going on then and the song that was playing that night as she "danced" is burnt into my memory for all time... Now, no matter where I am if I happen to hear that song I think of that "wild ride” at the Bangor State Fair.

I can picture every move that a man could make
Getting lost in her lovin' is your first mistake
Sundown you better take care
If I find you been creepin' 'round my back stairs
Sometimes I think it's a sin
When I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again

RONNIE

Before anyone gets their underwear in a big wad, I haven't drunk the Kool-Aid! Yes, Ronnie was named
after Ronald Reagan. Ronnie was purchased on the day of President Reagan's death. My step-father and my daughter decided to buy a black Lab puppy and were having trouble agreeing on a name for him so I suggested the name Ronnie. My step-father was a staunch Republican so the name Ronnie was a given. Ronnie passed away yesterday after living a very long and happy life. Please keep my daughter and her family in your thoughts. Ronnie was a part of her family for many, many years and will be missed by all. He was a beautiful black Lab and although as he grew old, he slowed down and like an old person he grew fragile, slow and stubborn, but he always remained that beautiful black Lab puppy that they brought home many years ago in all our hearts. Rest in peace, Ronnie and go be with Grandpa now.

To Those Who Have Proudly Served

Happy 

The Definition of Confusion (Thank You, Mother)

Reposted from 3/15/2010 edited:

When my children were still quite young and in school, they used to visit their grandparents on school holidays. I would drive halfway to Pensacola to meet my mother and place my children in her care. The first few days always felt like utter bliss and then the house gradually became a mausoleum. By the time I would pick up my children, I was more than ready to have them come home again. I welcomed that deafening chaos and unruly banter that came with three children.

My mother was always rather rigid while I was growing up and had a very democratic way of handling punishment. If the guilty party didn't confess the first time when my brothers and I were asked who did something, we all suffered the consequences. As I grew older and eventually became a parent myself, the woman who raised me seemed to change. She got soft in her old age! Had I broken her spirit? Possibly! But each time my children would rave on about the fun-loving person who they perceived their grandmother to be, I knew it wasn't the same person who raised me. My mother was proof that aliens do exist! They has abducted my mother and left in her place a female Captain Kangaroo or would it date me too much if I said Shari Lewis and Lambchop? Ask anyone from my old neighborhood! They knew my mother was a force to be reckoned with. Her voice alone could raise the dead. 

Each time my children would go for a visit, it took weeks before I could straighten them out. My mother waited on them hand and foot and made them do NOTHING but fun things while they visited her. When they came home sassy and quite lazy, I would want to pull my hair out. One time while driving home, my children seemed quite mesmerized by a joke book one of them had gotten while in Pensacola. One of their visiting rituals was for her to take them (her angelic grandchildren) to Hawsey's, a used bookstore and let them each purchase a large paper bag full of books to read. All three of my children loved to read so going to Hawsey's was always a fun thing to do.

Since they were quiet on our trip home and this was an oddity for them, I tried to engage them in conversation only to be told they were busy reading jokes. That explained the occasional chuckle I heard from the backseat. I asked them to read me aloud some of the jokes. My youngest child, Matthew spoke up and said he would read one. Although he was only 7 at the time, his reading skills were quite advanced for someone his age. As Matthew read, I almost drove off the road.

Whats' the definition of "confusion"?

Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market!

WTF? Now, with glee they started reading more jokes from the book as fast as they could until I could gather my thoughts and ask them where they got the book. In unison they told me...HAWSEY'S! And of course I asked if  their grandmother let them buy that book? Well, I was told she never screened the books that they bought, so the book titled Truly Tasteless Jokes was easily purchased by my son, Daniel (age 9).

Then they all went on to start reciting the dirty little ditties my mother had taught them. It was then I knew she had truly lost her mind or maybe the rules that apply to being a parent were different from those that apply to being a grandparent. It definitely was a gotcha moment lovingly given to me by my mother. To this day, my mother just smiles innocently when this story is told. What I want to know is why she never taught my brothers and me these ditties when we were kids or why my grandmother never taught them to us? Geez! I feel cheated! 

An example of one of the my mother's ditties:

A flock of birds

Chocked full of turds

Flew over my father's castle

They stretched their necks

And shit a peck

Then closed up their assholes.

Gratitude statement: I'm thankful I don't live in a castle near a fish market.