Sleep finally came sometime after 3am. I drifted off while watching the shows I had recorded on my DVR. I don't remember dreaming, but that isn't unusual for someone with sleep apnea. The place where dreams live somewhere deep in R.E.M., is a place that prohibits apneatic individuals from entering. When I sleep, I sleep in dreamless slumber. I awake feeling as if someone had been scratching around inside my head. Today, I awoke shortly after 6am feeling sick; almost as if I had a hangover without the benefit of being drunk. After sitting on the edge of the couch for several minutes contemplating if my legs were actually strong enough to support me, I stood slowly and staggered to the kitchen for a drink of water. What desert had I trudged across in my few hours of sleep to cause this excessive thirst? Who had I battled to feel this sore?
Gratitude statement: I was going to write TGIF, but I haven't worked since December 2008, so Friday is Sunday is Wednesday to me. How about this...I hear birds singing again this morning and for those melodious creatures I am thankful. They sing and fly and remind me how much more beautiful they are than mankind.
they are that and so much more, thx mil...
ReplyDeletehope you find your way into the arms of morpheus for a longer stint
at times, birds, in all their glory, bring serenity into a world filled with too much pain and sadness.
ReplyDeleteother times, it's sleep that brings the peace and serenity.
as for mankind? we suck baboon ass.
I'm with you on the sleeplessness. It's usually 3am before I finally drift off. Unfortunately, TV keeps me awake, so I read. Reading used to help, but no more.
maybe it really is time to get back on the meds.
Though I work every day, I have not had a job for a year. Then I worked nights and seldom rose before the crack of noon. The birds of dawn were often bothersome tweets and chatter. Now I greet their song with a smile.
ReplyDeleteAs ever be well
Not being able to sleep well is a constant sorrow. It cannot really be appreciated by those who take their deep and restful sleep for granted.
ReplyDeleteWhen I stopped working for other people I went through a disorienting time where I often did not know what day it was. Eventually I concluded that it really did not matter.
laughingwolf, sleep comes when it comes these days and when it does come I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteJnuts, if I've dosed off and someone turns the TV off, I instantly wake up. My family now knows to just leave me alone when I fall asleep. They don't wake me up to tell me I'm not breathing and they don't turn the TV off. I've tried various sleeping pills and nothing seems to work for me. I guess I'm just a problem child and alway will be!
Stephen, yes, our perspective changes as our circumstances change and don't they say "nothing is constant but change"?
Laoch, these days just the words "sleep" seems like a dirty word to me and gives me an attitude. Wow! There are people who really do sleep and feel great when they wake up? Yep! I used to be one of them! Disoriented? [smile] what year did you say it was?
Mankind, Parrots. How about trees? The noises?
ReplyDeleteSee you're in good company: "As ever be well" Craig wrote in 2005 to Yolanda in Melbourne (Spaces) and others, earlier and later invocating this as well to all friends I suppose.
Found your Spaces on WordPress and after scanning there and stalking you, now am here to like and dislike your postings. A Loesje in my country publicized several postcards with texts very-to-the-point. Best I liked was a full-card-sized mirror, text: "Ever seen a normal person? And...! Satisfied?" in Dutch, of course. Am afraid ever-in-the-future I have to take a lot of time to spell your blogs. Love to you.
You wrote it, here it is: To All You Readers: Mind You're Breathing Until ....