30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-SIX

Truth #26: The house I grew up in was built in the early 1830's. The fact of the matter is that houses aren't built like that anymore. Cheaper materials are used and things just don't last as long these days. I'm sure you've noticed this about just everything you buy now!  Also, modern architecture is so sterile and without any real character. It seems to be all about geometric shapes. Where there was once detail and craftsmanship now there are sharp, lackluster angles and curves meant to spark your imagination. Let's compare a few buildings of the past with those of the present and see which ones rank higher on the list of those we prefer.

The Present

The Past

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-FIVE

Truth #25: Delayed gratification builds character. I have to laugh at this one because I have drummed this concept into my children's heads from the time they were very little. Their response was always the same and it still is.  They always told me they must have lots of character...and they do! Growing up they weren't the kids throwing tantrums in the grocery store because they couldn't have candy or something else they wanted. Before we ever went inside the store we got it straight what they could or couldn't have so there wasn't any discussion at the check out line. Don't get me wrong! My children didn't want for much. They had all the newest gadgets, games and toys. Sometimes they had to wait for them, but that didn't hurt them to wait for something. It taught them to have patience and understanding that money doesn't grow on trees. I was a single mother for much of their growing up years, so this meant I had to creatively budget money. Toys, etc. took a lower priority over other things on the list of needs. I think they grew up understanding and not resenting the fact that waiting for something didn't mean no. All it meant was that they were going to have to wait a little longer to have the things they wanted. Their radiant smiles when they got whatever it was that they wanted always was more thanks than I ever needed and was always reward enough for me for giving up something I wanted so they could be happy.  

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-FOUR

Truth #24: I found a few quotes about depression I found fitting especially for this time of year since so many people seem to struggle with depression and anxiety during the holiday season. If you know anyone who battles these demons, please be mindful of them and reach out to that person. You may be that person's saving grace! 

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating to socialize. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything, then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once, then feeling paralyzingly numb. 

A human being can survive almost anything as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness.

People think depression is sadness. That it’s crying and dressing in black, but people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. It’s being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.

You don’t understand depression until you can’t stand your own presence in an empty room.

If you feel everything intensely, ultimately, you feel nothing at all.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. 

Depression is like a heavy blanket. It covers all of me, and it’s hard to get up. But there’s comfort in it too. I know who I am when I’m under it. 

I wanted to talk about it. Damn it. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to shout about it. But all I could do was whisper, “I’m fine.”

Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart. 

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.

It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it’s the smile we fake. 

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless, and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

Are you struggling?

If you’re having a hard time, know that there are people out there who care! Reach out to a friend, family member, or seek out a mental health professional.

If you’re in crisis, here are a few resources to help:

If you live in the United States, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800- 273-TALK (800-273-8255). They have trained counselors available 24/7. Stop a Suicide Today is another helpful resource.

Befrienders Worldwide and the International Association for Suicide Prevention are two organizations that provide contact information for crisis centers outside of the United States.

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-THREE

Truth #23: One of the most destructive forces known to man is gossip. Children these days use it to crucify one another on social media and everywhere you see adults engaging in gossip when all they're doing is spreading vicious lies about another human being. I suppose in order to feel superior one must rake someone else over the coals in attempt to destroy their reputation. You probably needn't look any further than after church on Sunday when women start talking about what one another have worn to church. Yes, women are catty devils, but men gossip also! 

When I was young being the black sheep of the family made me the prime target of gossip. I developed thick skin at an early age and whenever I caught wind of any gossip related to me going around, I would add to the story making it much juicier than what the story already was. Then I would send it out for another go around. I know most young people have tender feelings and gossip crushes them, but I didn't really care what people said about me.  I found it amusing that they had nothing better to do with their time than to gossip about me. Some teens even succumb to bullies by committing suicide because they can't handle the pressure of the gossip and lies. It's sad that people don't stop and think about what they're doing to other people by spreading gossip. Gossip can cause real pain and devastation in a person's life.

When I was a kid we used to play a game called Telegraph. We'd all sit in a line and the first person would whisper something in the second person's ear only once. Then each person would whisper what they heard to the next person passing it down the line. The last person would have to say what they heard out loud. Nine times out of ten that last person would never say out loud the same thing the first person whispered. The same thing happens with gossip. It gets stretched and distorted along the way the more it gets passed around. Be careful with participating in gossip because you're only hurting another human being and it may come back to bite you someday. 

THE 14K GOLDEN RULE

In life there are few true absolutes. Absolutes are supposed to be keys to open the locked doors to happiness and tranquility and serve as basic guidelines for people to live by so they can have what is deemed a good life. A great example of an absolute is The Golden Rule. This concept is a crucial point in many of the world's major religions (Christianity, Confucianism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism and Taoism). The simplicity of The Golden Rule is what makes it so complex and often times misused or misunderstood. When properly implemented, a person might find a certain joy in treating other people the way they themselves want to be treated. I often wonder how something that appears so easy to execute is so difficult to accomplish in reality. 

I often wonder what it is in man's nature that prevents us from expressing brotherly love on a consistent basis and obtaining a peaceful co-existence. What makes us skeptical, selfish, arrogant, hostile and greedy? Why do we tend to find it easier to fight than to walk away and find peaceful solutions? We all have theories about the true nature of man. Some say we are products of our environments. Others claim genetic make-up holds the answers to why and who we are. Many people believe God or some higher power creates each of us and leaves us with free will to stumble and learn as we travel the path that leads to positive growth and righteousness. A pragmatic or secular person believes experience is what molds us into the very unique people each of us are. 

One only has to look at any family in which each child is raised the same way, with the same set of rules and circumstances to see how individual and unique each of those children become. Somehow I think we are a product of many factors with no one factor outweighing another. Certainly one can see how environment plays a crucial role in our general development and outlook on life. Genetics may predispose us to certain things, but our free will allows us to decide whether we will succumb to some genetic trait or not. 

For many people religion or some major philosophical ideology is a strong factor influencing the choices they make throughout their lives. But what exactly is it that makes one person suffer, withdraw and become bitter while the same incident might make another person stronger, more compassionate and more determined to overcome obstacles? 

* Repost from May 6, 2010 (I removed the Castaneda quote from this post since I just used it in a recent one)

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM FOR ME

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about dreams. No, not the kind you have at night. Not the ones that somehow always leave you in breathless anticipation and seem to dissipate as soon as a person awakens. No, the dreams that have captured my thoughts are the ones that take root during a lifetime and seem to stick with you. I've always envied those people who have the drive and stamina to make their dreams come true. I've often wondered why I seem to lack that drive and stamina. Why do things always seem just slightly out of reach? Why do my "projects" lay shamefully incomplete? Am I really that clueless as to how to succeed in life or are unfulfilled dreams symptomatic of people with addiction problems? While cruising around the blogosphere I stumbled upon contemplating dreams. This person wrote:

letting go of dreams, hopes...aspirations can be ....be oddly painful... dreams are like the weeds in the garden of your mind. while you are busy planting the goals for future... dreams plant themselves in ...and take root. while you need to lavish time and attention to get ideas and goals to take root and flourish... dreams flourish without the slightest of attention... without any ray of light. impossible dreams, ones you *know* don't make any sense and will probably never come true are the absolute worst kind of weeds. they spread their roots deep into the underground terrain of your mind making pulling them out an herculean task... they muddle up your thinking... leaving small paper cut wounds when you stumble across them without expecting to in the least.

Gratitude statement: I'm not so sure of how grateful I can actually be since I have never allowed any of my dreams to come true. But I can say I'm thankful I still have some dreams! Those are the ones not even Agent Orange can kill. 

* Repost from January 26, 2011

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-TWO

Truth #22:  Logic and knowledge will get you from Point A to Point B and imagination will get you everywhere else. Imagination gives you wings to fly and explore. It gives you a spark to create. It gloriously colors your world and tickles your soul. Sometimes your imagination is bold and beckons loudly while other times it whispers gently while it brushes past you like a gentle breeze. The imagination is the muscle of the mind that people tend to let fade away once childhood is long gone deeming it useless and juvenile. Once adulthood is upon us many of us no longer have an active imagination. Logic and common sense have taken over and the imagination has atrophied with age. Those who have exercised their imagination are the artists, writers and great creators of the world. We the people who admire their works exercise our imagination and keep it alive by indulging ourselves in the journeys those people take. We take those journeys with them. We not only admire the art the create, but we understand it. We not only read the books they write but we become part of the story as we read them. We allow ourselves to dream and venture into the unknown. We keep our minds open and our imaginations keenly honed because we know it is a life force as important as logic where anything is possible.

ARE DESIGNER BABIES A GOOD IDEA?

Here's a rather controversial story coming out of the scientific community and one that you might want to weigh in on with your opinion after watching the video.

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY-ONE

Truth #21: Variety is the spice of life. Yes, some people can take this concept a bit too far and get themselves in a lot of trouble with it especially regarding relationships, but in general it makes life much more interesting. Think about how boring everything would be if everyone thought the same way, acted the same way and did everything exactly alike. We would be nothing more than clones of each other! We would have no room for debate or for learning new things from one another. One of the things I enjoy the most in a new relationship of any type is the getting to know a person stage. This stage always allows me to broaden my horizons by teaching me new things and exposing me to new ideas and new interests I didn't have before. I've read books, listened to music, watched shows and movies, met people and gone places I never would have if I had closed myself off from the idea of variety being the spice of life and other people being the instrument leading me to that spice. Sometimes you just have to open your heart and mind in order to get a little spicy... 

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT

I had an extremely restless night last night. I was in a lot of pain. Sleep came relatively early which is very unusual for me, but my dreams were strange and scattered. I kept feeling like someone was brushing my hair away from my face. That didn't really bother me, but I couldn't wake myself to see who it was. At the times I did wake up, my pain was so intense I had tears in my eyes because of it. Then I would drift in and out of sleep almost like I had been drugged, but I wasn't drugged. The weird part about the whole thing is that this morning when I woke up to take my dogs out around 6am. When I turned my lamp on there was a pile of sunflower seeds on my nightstand. I don't have any sunflower seeds in my house and I can't tell you when the last time I even ate any sunflower seeds. I have no idea how they got there and they weren't there when I went to bed last night. I really do think I have a poltergeist or maybe I'm going crazy!

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY TWENTY

Truth #20:  One of my favorite quotes is by Carlos Castaneda. I find it to be extremely true and beneficial to anyone who cares to put some real work into their life. We all have times when we sink into despair and feel miserable. Some people prefer to remain in that wretched cesspool barely keeping their head above water because it becomes a comfortable, familiar place to exist. They find reasons to continually browbeat themselves and punish themselves so that their sorrow makes sense as if they have some harsh dues to pay. They reinforce every mistake they've ever made with negative internal dialogue until they believe there is nothing good in life left for them. No, we can't turn back the hands of time! Nobody gets a do over, but what we do get is a second chance at finding some happiness and with it some inner peace. Coming out of pure misery requires strength, courage and the belief that there is something better out there than sitting at the gates of Hell and being emotionally bankrupt waiting for our days here on Earth to wind down.  

THE READING ROOM

Like many people, I call my bathroom "the library" or "the reading room." Take your pick.  The selection of reading material in my bathroom range from good old Readers Digests to a book titled 1001 Facts That Will Scare The Shit Out of You (The Ultimate Bathroom Reader). Although the book was published in 2010 and some of the facts are outdated now, I'd like to start discussing some of the ones I think are noteworthy.

Since the book has twenty chapters, I'll have plenty of material to select for blog posts.  The premise of the book is set up by citing a fact followed by a snarky comment by the author about the fact. Each fact is backed up by some sort of research which is cited in the right-hand column. Chapter One is titled "Are You Gonna Eat That?"

Here's a good one for all us peanut butter lovers. What I want to know is if this includes Jif since choosy mothers choose Jif... Oh no! I love Jif!

FACT: One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs. (Up to 150. That means there could only be 120-130. Whew! I was almost disgusted there for a second.)

Let's not discriminate and leave the wine drinkers left out of this horror show.

FACT: Most wines are made from grapes harvested by machines that scythe through everything in their path, including sticks, insects, rodents and even larger mammals which can make their way into the end product. This is known to wine growers as MOG or "material other than grapes." (MOG also stands for "Mother of God I think that was a hoof.")

*Repost from June 18, 2019

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY NINETEEN

Truth #19: Racism is wrong! It's not something that we are genetically born with. It's something we learn along the way through our life experiences. It's ugly! It's vile! It's harsh! It's painful! And it's up to each of us to look at our fellow man as human beings, as equals and not as different because they have a different color skin than we have. We need to judge each person on deed and not on skin color. Each infringement on this simple truth is a mark against humanity and nothing more. 

A KODAK MOMENT

Hello world! The rumors of my untimely demise have been grossly exaggerated. While some will jump for joy over this news, others will grumble and moan.  I seem to have that effect on people. This anecdote seemed appropriate to signal that I've finally come up for air with my twisted humor intact. Or maybe it means the Zoloft and anti-anxiety meds are actually working.

On my way to a doctor's appointment not too long ago I stopped and took the photo below.  The independently-owned gas station that once had done business at a prime location had been rudely squeezed out of business by two convenience stores very close by. I'm sure that's a too familiar story for many small business owners. Now, the once thriving business claim to fame is barbecued turkey legs (not listed on the sign), sweet potatoes, boiled peanuts and an occasional carwash for some local charity or school.  You can't get more Southern than that except if they offered ice cold moonshine as a beverage to wash away your cares.

As I came to a stop at the traffic light at the intersection on which this once booming business rests, I did a quick double take. Obviously, either new services are now being offered or some young hooligan rearranged the letters to get some laughs. Yep, I actually circled around so I could take a picture on my cell phone from the parking lot. I have to admit I was tempted to ask how much does it cost to get an "oiled anus" because the price wasn’t listed and after all knowing the price is an important thing especially for those who are on a tight budget.  I exercised my almost non-existent self-control by simply driving away with a smile on my face, but only after securing a picture that truly is worth a thousand words or in this case, three hundred and nineteen words.

* Repost from November 30, 2015

30 TRUTHS IN 30 DAYS - DAY EIGHTEEN

Truth #18: You never know where or when Murphy's Laws will strike next! It's usually when you're least expecting it and least prepared. I always say that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. It seems my whole life has been testament to proving that theory to be correct until I put myself in a rather lengthy time-out. Just recently I've been half-ass dabbling with this online dating stuff and wouldn't you know it that I stumbled across someone quite accidently who actually tickled my fancy by what he wrote in his profile, etc. Of course, I couldn't leave well enough alone! I had to send him a message. 

In my mind I see this guy getting with a bunch of bimbos, airheads and all sorts of women who just don't get him and he's bored to death. He wants a little mental stimulation to put some pep in his step. He wants pizzazz! Some gusto! Something real! I had no intention of doing anything, but giving him some encouragement but not on my behalf but to stay in the game and to continue his hunt. So I sent him a message:

Nope! I don't want to be anyone's "Florida vacation."  The last time that happened, it put me in a lengthy time-out and I'm just starting to dig my way out of that now. You talk about a severe case of PSTD! The trouble here isn't that we wouldn't click, it's that we would and then hey, reality would set in. We live over 500 miles apart and long distance relationships rarely work. Naturally, you want to be with the person and can't be. Then the worst happens...convenience finally wins out. One or the other or both of us would find someone locally to take the loneliness away. Don't you like how I just had a whole relationship with someone I don't even know in just a few sentences? That's very insightful of me because I know myself and I see the writing on the wall. I know the far away galaxy he seeks too well and I think I could razzle dazzle him with some deep meaningful whatever and then some. But I'm not going there...I can't!!! So repeat after me, Mildred! I am not going to go there. Back off and leave it alone :)